Diggitydog Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 I'II keep it short and provide as many facts as relevant for anyone to help me understand her behavior. We're both in out mid-late 30s. Fell in love very quickly (relationship was a little more than 4 months). After about 2.5 months I began noticing just weird behavior from her like, narcissistic comments, needing male validation, keeping her exe's photos on her insta that were mentally abusive to her while posting photos of us. I decided to end it after a phone altercation where she was extremely disrespectful to me. She sent me paragraphs of messages and left me a handwritten letter when she dropped my stuff off with my concierge, telling me how much she loves me, wants kids with me, etc. I agree to talk to her, lay out that I want all the weird things to stop, treat each other with respect, and communicate better. She agreed and we were back together. About 1.5 weeks later she starts becoming upset about what happened. We discuss it and she said she felt "abandoned" when I broke up with her, even though I clearly laid out why. She breaks up with me 2 days later. I just told her best of luck. A few days later I get a ghost call one evening (a call came in and immediately ended) from her. I didn't call back. Next morning she again returns my stuff with my concierge, but forgets to give back 2 very obvious items (even though she brought them back the last time). I didn't text her for them. I'm trying to figure out what her angle is with keeping these items, ghost call, and ultimately what she's trying to convey here. Any thoughts would be great. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 I'm not sure why you are spending time trying to analyze a woman who you're broken up with, and who you describe in very unflattering terms. Yes, you said you "fell in love very quickly" but you don't say anything positive about her or your relationship at all. You were "together" for 4 months and that's about the normal time frame for people to get to know whether or not they are a good fit. Obviously you found out that you and this woman are not. Just block and delete her. Move on now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 Sorry this happened.What was the breakup about? It seems like the first one came with a list of demands that she change. 16 weeks dating is the getting to know you period and this is an inordinate amount of drama for that timeframe. It seems like too much too soon and trying to force fit incompatible people and accelerate a nonviable relationship. Perhaps reflect why you rushed in. As far as your stuff, it's your responsibility to arrange a mutually convenient time to go get it. After that go no contact and delete and block her. There's nothing worse than on/off relationships filled with nothing but headaches and heartaches. Set yourselves free. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diggitydog Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened.What was the breakup about? It seems like the first one came with a list of demands that she change. 16 weeks dating is the getting to know you period and this is an inordinate amount of drama for that timeframe. It seems like too much too soon and trying to force fit incompatible people and accelerate a nonviable relationship. Perhaps reflect why you rushed in. As far as your stuff, it's your responsibility to arrange a mutually convenient time to go get it. After that go no contact and delete and block her. There's nothing worse than on/off relationships filled with nothing but headaches and heartaches. Set yourselves free. Hey, thanks for the constructive feedback. I think I’m just curious as to why she did the ghost call and kept my things. I know I know, it’s just speculating but it’s perplexing me. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 5 hours ago, Diggitydog said: I'm trying to figure out what her angle is with keeping these items, ghost call, and ultimately what she's trying to convey here She's not trying to convey anything. She is showing you she is not very mature or stable. Don't waste your time wondering about these things. It doesn't seem she is at all ready for a real relationship and you two got caught up in a whirlwind that had no future. Block her and move on, and next time, don't stick around when you notice such red flags: 5 hours ago, Diggitydog said: After about 2.5 months I began noticing just weird behavior from her like, narcissistic comments, needing male validation, keeping her exe's photos on her insta that were mentally abusive to her while posting photos of us. This should have been your cue to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 Who knows why she did these things. Stop wasting your valuable time & energy on her. She's out of your life. Leave her there. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 17 hours ago, Diggitydog said: I'm trying to figure out what her angle is with keeping these items, ghost call, and ultimately what she's trying to convey here. Any thoughts would be great. Thanks! Who cares what she's trying to convey here? It doesn't matter now, and you'll never get an answer to this question. I'm not sure why you would think that we are in her head and can tell you what she was trying to convey here. The only thing that matters is that you now know you are not compatible with her for a relationship. You need to put this in the past and move on with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 16 hours ago, Diggitydog said: Hey, thanks for the constructive feedback. I think I’m just curious as to why she did the ghost call and kept my things. I know I know, it’s just speculating but it’s perplexing me. Maybe she's trying to manipulate you into calling her. It's a power thing, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
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