Author kooltk1 Posted April 3 Author Share Posted April 3 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I dont know she's very pretty. Her personality is very reserved and quiet until she's had a few drinks then she's a little more adventurous and slightly louder Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 40 minutes ago, kooltk1 said: I mean I went through a nasty divorce so hate sex maybe the best thing for me as well. I do have a lot of pent up anger. I should just go with it It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Make sure you're on the same page though. If it's meaningless crazy sex treat it like that and try not to catch feelings, unless you're both doing that together. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 Well you'd have to assume that she's out enjoying herself and leading a single life like you are - leading a single life I say, because you're not out with your 'girlfriend(s)'! - It's not a bad thing to have flings now and then, or be a romantic figure to a willing prospect! Just approach her - somewhere safe and neutral - and tell her how interested you are in her and you'd like to hang out and see where it goes and call this highly eligible prospect a "date" and follow her lead. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 3 Author Share Posted April 3 (edited) Alpacalia I take it you read the whole story. Noting I did ask her out for next week. again this is through snapchat or text. She sent me a pic of her kind of looking up and texted maybe Edited April 3 by kooltk1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 (edited) 10 minutes ago, kooltk1 said: Alpacalia I take it you read the whole story. Noting I did ask her out for next week. again this is through snapchat or text. She sent me a pic of her kind of looking up and texted maybe Reading back over the original post it seems like you are following her lead a little bit, inviting her out to dinner and she half-ignores it and then you end up meeting her at the bar while she was already out. In my opinion the indecisive texts say she is not sure what she wants and wants someone to take the lead with her. If you're only marching to her tune she's probably just likely to get flakier and eventually end up dropping the conversation. So I would say ask her out directly, choose a day and make her follow your plans, that way she will probably feel more comfortable with you taking the lead and things will hopefully go smoother and feel a bit less weird. Either that or she was just looking for a bit of post-breakup attention and will flake out when you are more direct with her. Either way in that case you have your answer and just move on with your life. Edited April 3 by FredEire Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 @kooltk1 if she's not ready for a relationship, it makes sense that you get a "maybe" when you asked her out. She likely wants to be a free agent for a bit. I feel like you're not hearing her Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 3 Author Share Posted April 3 Well her friend is coming over today and I don't remember if she told me how long she's staying. I'll just see what happens in that time. I dont want to over stimulate her while her friends over. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 7 minutes ago, kooltk1 said: Well her friend is coming over today and I don't remember if she told me how long she's staying. I'll just see what happens in that time. I dont want to over stimulate her while her friends over. Yeah I think that's a good plan. Play it off for a bit and she might end up being the one who hits you up once her friend leaves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 3 Author Share Posted April 3 Those are my thoughts about it as well. I'm so used to being married. I have to remember we are still friends and or bar buddies and might just be that. She might just want someone to go out with without any strings to just have a good night out. She did thank me the last time for making her come out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 25 minutes ago, kooltk1 said: Those are my thoughts about it as well. I'm so used to being married. I have to remember we are still friends and or bar buddies and might just be that. She might just want someone to go out with without any strings to just have a good night out. She did thank me the last time for making her come out. I think that's a healthy way of looking at it. Curious without getting to ahead of yourself. It can be hard when emotions run away with you and you start to build something up to be more than it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 1 hour ago, kooltk1 said: Alpacalia I take it you read the whole story. Noting I did ask her out for next week. again this is through snapchat or text. She sent me a pic of her kind of looking up and texted maybe Uncertainty is thrilling and nerve-wracking, and "maybe" can be a confusing middle ground between a definite yes and a clear no. It's not an outright rejection. Are you the type to see the glass as half full? Just be patient and avoid pressuring her. She may change her mind on her own. Part of the allure for you is her unpredictability. No one can say for certain how she will decide. Half of the fun is waiting to find out. So have a little faith and see what happens. Wishing you the best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 3 Author Share Posted April 3 Thank you everyone for the advice it really helped alot😁 any more advice is greatly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 9 Author Share Posted April 9 (edited) So a little update. We hung out again at the bar. Her boss whos a friend of mine told me that her and her boyfriend were gonna be at the bar tonight and that I should come down. I asked the girl (we will call her frank) frank was gonna be there tonight I was like oh cool. Her "boss" that introduced us told me that she does indeed like me but is just scared. I told her i want her to be comfortable and not stand offish. However she still seems stand offish due to the fact she doesnt really text me or anything.She was a little tipsy so i didnt have her elaborate further. This girl got a little more handsy than the last time. Like grabbing my arms this time and massaging my back. I know not a whole lot going there but figured I'd mention it. Should also mention our ages for reference. She is 22 and I am almost 30. I took her home and got introduced to her cats when I walked her to the door. Played with them a bit. She told me that they are usually very shy and was very suprised that they came out at all. The next day I texted her a message stating that her cats texted me and said that I needed to come back and play with them. I got no response. Just daily snaps. "Snap streak" I am gonna play it cool and just wait for her to make her move if she does. Edited April 9 by kooltk1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 21 minutes ago, kooltk1 said: The next day I texted her a message stating that her cats texted me and said that I needed to come back and play with them. Instead of inviting her on a date, you invited yourself to her house? It's looking a bit sleazy Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 (edited) You all really need to interact with each other outside of the bar scene. And yes telling a 22 year old girl you should come back to her place was about the worst thing you could possibly say if she wasn't obviously offering you sex. I wouldn't blame her for not responding in that situation. Edited April 9 by Sony12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 9 Author Share Posted April 9 No I didn't invite myself in. I walked her to the door. She started to open it and then oooo my cats are gonna get out. I said can I meet them and she said yeah and I came in only after she said it was okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 9 Author Share Posted April 9 Sorry not that I needed that they would like me to come back and play with them Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 (edited) 4 minutes ago, kooltk1 said: Sorry not that I needed that they would like me to come back and play with them I'm referring to your text where the "cats want me to come back and play with them". You must be terribly naive if you can't see how this could be interpreted as a sleazy attempt to be alone with her. Edited April 9 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 9 Author Share Posted April 9 Oooooi was trying to be fun about coming over not sleazy in anyway but I do indeed see your point Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 (edited) 3 minutes ago, kooltk1 said: Oooooi was trying to be fun about coming over not sleazy in anyway but I do indeed see your point Imagine what her friends will say when she tells them you sent this text 🙀 But even if we leave the obvious innuendo out of it, still don't invite yourself to the home of a woman you barely know Edited April 9 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 (edited) Ask her on a date! Somewhere where there's not too much alcohol so that you can see the real her Edited April 9 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 9 Author Share Posted April 9 I did last week and she said maybe this week Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 Yes she is 22. You are 30. Don't try to invite yourself over to her house unless she is basically saying she would like to bed you. Younger women often look to older men for the confidence they possess that many men their own age don't. You haven't in anyway shown that you have more confidence than some guy her own age would. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kooltk1 Posted April 9 Author Share Posted April 9 And how would I show this moving forward? Link to post Share on other sites
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