slowlearner Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Met the Love of my life while on overseas assignment. Him too.. he was so much in love that my normally stoic guy cried. We talked about marriage. To be sure of all I waited 8 months to go to the next level. But after a month break he was different. Later he confessed that he lied about a "friend". And they tried to patch things during the break. Heart Broken. He crawls back professing his Love. I take him back. He reschedules his return from Overseas to our Vacation spot. I won't go into it but there was a misunderstanding and he changed his flight straight to his "friend". He realized the misunderstanding but said he could not keep going to Overseas manager to Change Flights. Heart Crushed a Second Time. This one was a big one.. Our trip meant to world to me. I needed him to prove the Trust factor. I have been the quintessial 'good' girl, never saying one thing to change his mind.. I figure a person will do want they want .. and I am not going to pressure. He knows he messed up bad... but the day he returned to her, who he still insists is "just a friend" but she loves him, I just wrote that I was quite busy with things and needed some quiet time. Then I began no contact.. He has been emailing non-stop saying he will always love me and wants to talk to me. But a Third Chance?? I am still crying over last two chances.... But I know how in love we were ... I know that short of marriage there would absolutely be no intimate relations .... I crossed that line before and I felt the wrath of God in a big way... Anybody with experiences of Third Chances? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Let me see if I've got this: A month's break in your relationship & he goes back to her? A misunderstanding about something & he schedules a flight which takes him straight back to her? (though I must confess I wasn't sure what this meant - ....there was a misunderstanding and he changed his flight straight to his "friend".) And you want to know if a third time things will work out? Maybe. But I think that the moment anything gets a bit patchy he might just end up going back to her. Don't you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author slowlearner Posted December 29, 2005 Author Share Posted December 29, 2005 He emailed my an attachment of his changed ticket to our Vacation city. I was handling the hotel and all.. When the costs got to be in the 3-thousands for that holiday week. I call him and told him that the cost made the trip prohibitive and could we maybe change it to another place. He got very upset because the place he said was kid oriented and that I was not thinking of him but of my own child... I was running out the door when I called him .. but I said.. well think about it .. it can be somewhere else, it didn't matter .. Then next day .. his ticket was changed straight back to his home. Again .. now he realizes he was my number 1 priority and now he is emailing the love letters .. But a 3rd time ..?? Maybe in writing this I am answering my own question .. I am over the crying and most of the pain and now I just feel a little numb where even if he was right next to me kissing on my face .. I don't know if I have inside me anymore what it takes to respond to him .. I simply did not deserve the pain that was caused by his actions .... I don't know if I can change the numb feeling from the pain caused. All of this is so so so very sad because of the tremendous love we had .. so so very sad... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Read my tag line. Link to post Share on other sites
Author slowlearner Posted December 30, 2005 Author Share Posted December 30, 2005 Hmmm.. Because I need a lot of guidance here, I went to the bible... Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, "I repent," you shall forgive him. Lk 17.3-4 SEVEN TIMES ..... YIKES !!!!!!!! Lord, I am only mortal ... Then I read more .. "It takes courage and character to forgive a person who repents and asks your forgiveness. If you forgive them, you expose yourself to the risk of being hurt again. Their repentance earns your forgiveness because the Bible commands you to grant it. But the Bible does not command your forgetfulness. They are still responsible for the harm they’ve done to you. Moreover, as the one who was hurt, you are responsible to maintain sound judgment so as not to be placed in a situation that will only cause more harm to occur. Repentance makes them deserving of your forgiveness. It also makes them eligible to receive your trust. When they repent, your forgiveness should come quickly. On the other hand, they should realize that it will take time and effort for them to once again earn your trust. In a sinful and abusive world, forgiveness shouldn’t be given unconditionally". Hmmmmmmm... I guess to summarize ... it sort of says ... the same thing you said ... Hurt me once, shame on you Hurt me twice, shame on me Thank You CaliGuy ... I love guys ... who can put two pages of good info in two sentances ... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 Slowlearner, I too am a Christian and believe in forgiving, but not in forgetting. Have a great, safe and Happy New Year Link to post Share on other sites
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