kjo314 Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Hea ladies and gents! Got a question and a confusion all in one. Me and the ex had been together for 1 1/2 years.... 4 months of that long distance. Anyways she broke up with me because she said that she wasn't getting what she thought she wanted out of the realtionship (respect of boundries, emotional intimacy (what??), etc... she also said that we had fundamental differences... when i asked her what these were she said she couldn't give me a clear cut answer but that the lens in which we view reality wasn't matching up...(this didn't make sense either). Anyways she told me she jsut needed things to be "simple" for her right now and that she needed to be alone to figure out what she wants because she is confused. She told me she still loves me to death and when she is with me she feels loved, proctected, and at home.. but not head-over-heels. So anyways after a week. She calls me. I ask her if she wants to get some coffee or something (she was in town) she said no because it would be uncomfortable for her. I asked her why and she said that she didn't want to give me any false hope. She started crying... I asked her why and she said "you know" I said "is it because you still love me" and she said "Yes" I told her to figure out what she wanted and asked her if there was still a hope for us and she said "yes" She moved to Florida from Ohio and has had problems with grad school, making friends, and the parents, she is very stressed out. I have realized that I was entirely too clingy back when her therapist suggested she start doing an "open relationship" which we ended up not doing. She said that she didn't know what she wanted in a realtionship anymore. I know that there could bea nuber of reasons for this.. Commitment issues, Confused, Stressed out, in over her head,. Felt the realtionship getting strong because I was coming on too much. I am not sure what to think anymore. Her friends keep telling me to wait it out and she will be back...but...I don't know what to do...Please people give me some good advice on this one I need it. I have realized what I did to drive her crazy. I was definitly too clingy due to my "panic" mode after the "open relationship" talk. I thought that she was going to try to get something better when in fact she said she loved me. I should have believed it then other than doubting it and growing too clingy. I wrote her a note telling her that through my reflection I have come to realize this but I don't know when or even if to send it Please any advice would be great and I hope it comes out good. I love this girl. I have realized I can live life without her and that I will be fine but that doesn't mean I want to right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kjo314 Posted December 29, 2005 Author Share Posted December 29, 2005 Also.. She has never lied or cheated one me.... that is what is so great about this girl. She has never lied or been dishonest in anyway and her emotions are usually on her sleeves. She usually says what she means... so I don't know it the "I love you" thing is entirely accurate but like i said she has never decieved me. Maybe she is just really confused right now and maybe that is why she is seeing a therapist I don't know. I am confused myself and I really feel like a bad person because I can't help her through this and be there for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kjo314 Posted December 29, 2005 Author Share Posted December 29, 2005 when she does contact me what do I do???? Also she told me in one of her e-mails before the call that she wanted me to try to move on because she isn't sure what will happen afterwards... This was during the initial breakup e-mail Link to post Share on other sites
Author kjo314 Posted December 29, 2005 Author Share Posted December 29, 2005 CORRECTION She said that she didn't want me to have hope for something that might "never return" that is what she said not the other one.. And it was in her first e-mail after the break up.. It has been one month this Saturday since she broke up with me... I can hold out as long as it takes just so long as I get my happy ending Link to post Share on other sites
Author kjo314 Posted December 29, 2005 Author Share Posted December 29, 2005 Ok so when she calls me what do I do??? Do I start calling her as well or let her make all the shots??? Do I just have her call me and not bother to call her.. also, should I call her back like the same day if I can't get to the phone? Link to post Share on other sites
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