Hes So Jealous!!!

[ConfusedAddiction]

I have this boyfriend, and we have been going out for almost 7 months and he controls me!!! I told him i wanted to become a model and he keeps telling me that he dont want me to because guys will look at me! He HATES the fact that guys calls me! Whenever my guy friends call me, he claimes im cheating!! I never had problems with him calling or hanging out with girls. Sometimes he just drives me crazy! We have been going out 7 months and he already wants to get into my pants! I keep telling him that im not that kind of a girl and i guess he is just so impatient! He gets mad at me when I hang out with my chick friends besides him bc I guess he thinks im going to go behind his back and cheat on him!! 2 weeks back, my friend called him telling him that we hung out (which we did) and he called it a date! And he broke up with me that day, then the next day, he called me apoligizing to me about the break up and telling me he was just over reacting! I love him to death but I want him to trust me! Can anybody help me out??

-Confused...

[blahhh]

This is very common, even though I try not to be jealous I feel like my (ex) gf was slipping away. Being jealous is not necessarily a bad thing it can also mean that he still loves you. If he wasn't jealous it could mean he either REALLY trusted you or that he didn't care that much about you any more.

[MrsD]

I had a bf like this once, it drove me away in the end, we were together 3 years and it totally killed the relationship, although i spoke to him about it a few times he just didnt listen. you need to get him to listen to how you feel

[Greg25]

Unfortunately as the previous poster pointed out, jealousy is very common and also one of the worst poisons which can ruin virtually any and every relationship. Essentially jealousy arises when someone fears losing someone or something they value or love to someone else.

 

Jealousy is often closely related to feelings of low self esteem and self-worth. Your b/f seems to fear he can't hold onto you if you come into contact with better looking men (i.e. male models) in your modelling work, as you no doubt will. He obviously fears you will leave him for a man who is better looking or richer than he is, quite a common fear amoung men with low self esteem.

 

The danger of this is that a key foundation of all relationships is trust, and if one partner does not trust the other, then a relationship can quickly break down, because the sharing of hearts and souls requires a very high level of trust.

 

The best thing to do is to be assertive and assure your b/f no matter how handsome or rich the guys you meet in modelling are, you aren't going to leave because he is the only man you love. Do things which reassure his self-worth (i.e. praise him as handsome and attractive) in small ways so he feels less vulnerable to losing you to another man. The better his self-esteem, the more secure he will feel about his ability to hold onto you, and the less need he will feel to be controlling, and he will give you more independence.

[Outcast]

I wouldn't stay with him. Jealous people are controlling people and some controlling people become abusive people. It's not up to you to fix his self-esteem. It's a job he has to work on by himself.

 

If you are getting bad vibes from him; if your gut tells you this guy is trouble, then drop him because your gut won't mislead you.

[Mary3]

I would back away from this man because this is NOT okay. This leads to alot further damage . You can't help him fix his issues. I would do NC immediately.

He needs help.