A crush to feel better?

[Chipmonk]

Looking for advice.

 

So I'm more or less feeling bad, lonely, etc... you can fill in the rest of the standard speech here, from a "nice guy" (22) who's never been on a date. Asked people (probably not enough), always went badly, lost friends because I asked them out - let's just say I'm not a terribly happy person right now, and there aren't any prospective dates coming up. On the plus side, everything non-romantic in my life is actually going well, and I do have a lot of female friends (platonic friends - much easier when she's all-but-engaged).

 

Bluntly, I'd really, really like to make out with somebody. I have ground rules - no alcohol (well, no more than a single beer), I'm not willing to lie, no breaking people off their boyfriends. I've spent a long time looking for somebody who likes me as much as I like her, and I know I'm going to spend longer - right now, I'm purely looking for a band-aid to keep myself hanging together until the right person does come along. And I've run out of other ideas.

 

There are a few people with crushes on me. One was a former student (college, I was the TA, this was a year ago so no ethics complications); another is sort of looking for anyone, she just wants a relationship. Problem is, I'm not interested in dating either one. I talk with them often enough - friends - but I am quite sure I don't want to date.

 

Should I go make out with one of them? On one hand I don't want to imply I'm interested when I'm not - and I'm willing to say so upfront. On the other, I already feel rather miserable, maybe something like this would be the boost of confidence I need to get out of the rut I'm in. And I'm pretty sure she'd enjoy it too - like I said, these are crushes. I know I'd be overjoyed if someone I liked was willing to make out, even should it mean nothing. But I'm a guy, I already know I think differently.

 

Temperature check. Am I stupid for not having done this already, or stupid for even considering it? What gives?

[Lucasarts]

um practice making out with a dead fish

 

thats about how interesting/exciting making out with someone you have no real interest/attraction to is. plus its pretty awkward and will kill your friendship with them right there. I would say to just keep looking, look at some porn and stuff i guess to relieve any tensions. Because you're a guy with strict rules as to how your "perfect" make out session will be, i would say to keep holding out (or you would have paid for a hooker by now). Not tryin to be rude but when you have rules set, then the harder it will be for you to get the girl of your dreams/desires.

[Milo]

For someone who has never successfully done something, you have an aweful lot of rules. Throw some of them out and you might get lucky. Then practice makes perfect.

[Chipmonk]

Hey - this isn't a first-kiss / first-whatever deal. I kiss fine (at least, she's not breaking it off, and they do last a long time...) - but finding people willing to try that kiss in the first place, that's hard. And when those few people move on (move towns, shift to an exclusive relationship), well, back to nobody.

 

The porn comment... works for a while. Then people who didn't used to look good start to look good, and so on, until I notice that I'm checking out my sister and want to wash my mind out with soap. Rinse, and repeat. It works, but it's something I do to avoid hating myself even more.

 

A kiss is a kiss, right? It shouldn't be this big of a deal - I'm not trying to get married or anything.

 

The people I'm thinking of... it's not that they are unattractive, it's something else. Example, I can't stand her best friends - who are so shallow, they make O.C. characters look deep.

 

Let's see... two votes I'll call "Chipmonk is second-guessing himself too much by making rules". Maybe I am. Then I go for it.

[Mary3]

Hey you could say what I have heard guys say to me " Hey I am looking for a good time and thats all " .

That implies fun only and nothing beyond.

( Of course for myself I want more but just trying to help you here )

I understood your post that you just want to make out with someone.

I don't think thats a terrible thing but personally , having feelings for someone makes it so much better.

But since many do not want feelings and attachments brought into the mix and just want some * fun * maybe you can suggest just that....( I know times have changed , lol )