Getting frustrated with wife and "me" first attitide

[skinut2234]

Married for 9 years and we had our ups and downs...... lately I see this trend with her constantly "pining" for attention ALL the time (we have 3 kids)...

It always seems to be about her- She is a stay at home mom- No matter what goes on it always seems to be about her and her day- I could walk in door after 12 hours of work and she will say "I need a hug, now" or I need this or that- NEVER asking what I need..... Not sure what has changed- I am a very giving person but as of late- It's a big turn off- It's causing a strain and I am not sure how to handle it but I find myself bending over backwards for her and I'm tired of it..... (by the way- her mother is the exact same way but 10 times worse) - I should have seen it coming- I just don't want her to end up like that... I am a very unselfish person so you can see where this can be an issue.........help!

The only way I know how to deal with it is I get frustrated and just want to "go off" on her- which is probably not the best way

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

You work 12 hours a day and leave her at home with 3 kids?

I would need a hug and time for myself too.

 

You two need to talk things over and make some "couple" time to not only give you what you need, and her what she needs, but also to give your marriage what it needs.

[JadeStar]

You have a 12 hour a day job out in the world, she has a job that never ends. She doesn't punch a time clock. Now, I'm not justiflying the fact that it seems to be all about her, but after dealing with kids all day, I would need hug too. Maybe even though she says SHE needs a hug, her hug is also meant for you. Communication is the key and you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her about how you feel your feelings are being neglected. Is their any grandparents or anyone willing to keep your kids for a a evening overnight or even over the weekend, so you both can have quailty time together?

 

 

 

 

Jade

[JayKay]

Hire a housekeeper and part-time babysitter.

 

She needs a life outside the house. Would she be interested in working part-time? Or doing volunteer work?

 

Some women feel that they lose their identity when all they do is give give give to little ones and tend to the house. She is the constant caretaker, that's why she wants some 'one-on-one' time.

 

I'm sure you work hard at your job and would like a little 'me' time when you come home as well. If you two are in a financial position to do so, then hire help so you can have alone time and re-discover each other.

[lilmoma1973]

 

You get to be around people all the interacting she gets to be with are kids!! I am a stay at home mom and know how frustrating one can be much less three!! I understand you have a job as well but being a mother can be very frustrating and you need a break once in a while!! You both have jobs and work hard at each one !!! Get someone to watch the kids so you two can have a date night and relieve you both !!

[whichwayisup]

Time for you two to drop the kids off at the Inlaw's or your folks house and take off together for a nice romantic getaway. She needs to get away from the kids and the house routine - You need a break and both of you need to stop and smell the roses together, appreciate what you have and have some fun too.