What does this all mean?

[karman]

I actually saw this coming but wasn't sure how to handle it. My ex-girlfriend had been telling me that I "don't listen to her" and was being "inattentive." However, she started to distance herself from me and when I tried to reach out she would get emotional/angry. I felt like I was in a no win situation. I made the mistake of telling her that "I felt like I couldn't do anything right with her" because no matter what I did it was problem. Staying away was a problem and getting to close was a problem. Eventually, she told me she needed space. There are several occassions when she has acused me of being possessive but I have never, ever tried to control or tell her what she can and can not do. She says that her friends say that I look uncomfortable when we go out, yet I can't remember a time when we went out that I was uncomfortable at all. She even asked me once, "would you even tell me if something was wrong?" I was confused because it was like she didn't believe that I was fine with everyone that was around. Finally, we had a big argument where she said that we were not compatible because she is out going and I can't handle her outgoing personality. She told me that she is embarrassed by what her friends say about me being uncomfortable. She admitted that she could be shallow about that. She also said that I had been really inattentive to her. We were out of town together during this argument. I began to pack my things so that I could go get a hotel room and find some peace. My feelings were hurt badly. When I tried to leave she wanted to give me an ultimatum that I wouldn't not be allowed to come back but she didn't. She told me that I was making an emotional decision. And said "why can't we just sleep in seperate beds like married couples do when they are disagreeing." Then she said are we going to discuss this or not. I was confused because I felt there was nothing to discuss because of all of the things that she had said. I paused and gathered myself. Then I asked her if she wanted to grab some dinner. When we got to the restaurant she told me that she "loved me very much and didn't mean to hurt me and that she was just trying to communicate." Obviously, I was confused. We went back to the room and started off sleeping in seperate beds. I got back up and went over to her bed and told her that I had listened to everything she said and understood what she was trying to say. I gave her a hug and went back to bed. Then she asked if she could come and sleep with me. Confused again, I said yes. She grabbed my arm and placed it around her. We cuddled all night while we sleeped. We woke in the morning, I told her that I needed her and she asked that I please talk to her. We then discussed everything again and had a good day. During the day she apologized again and told me that she loved me so much.

 

Once we got back to home, the distance began again. I told her that I wanted to work on our relationship and the things that were bothering her. She said that she wanted us to take some space and re-evaluate our relationship in about 30 days. I wasn't happy but I had to accept it.

 

I am confused. What does this all mean? Part of me feels like I should move on but I love her a lot. We still text and talk on the phone a little. Things are still cordial and polite. I just don't know how to proceed.

[omegaRED]

I think she has her eyes set on another man. Sorry. She`s making excuses and trying to justify her change in feelings. You are the bad guy now. Anyhow, that`s my take. And the only thing you can do now is let her go. Stuck in limbo sucks, i was in that state for about 2, 2.5 months. Sucks donkey balls. It`s much better to know that it won`t work than constantly trying to do the "right thing", because in her eyes, you never will. Let her go, if she comes back, all well and good. If she doesn`t, you`ll spare yourself a lot of sleepless nights, anxiety, ruining every other aspect of your life because you`ll be focused on how to "fix" the relationship and do the "right thing" in every situation.

 

I`m sorry you`re going through it. I know exactly how it feels. Be strong my friend.