How many people on here use drugs or know people who use because their parents did?

[almostthere]

I know several moms and dads right now that use drugs. Mostly smoke pot and some use cocaine. If this goes on around the children how do the children know this behavior is wrong? And if the people who are doing this around the kids dont think its wrong what are they teaching their kids? I wont allow myself to become involved with anyone (friends or otherwise) if I know the person has these habits. And maybe I am wrong for thinking the people doing this in front of their kids are wrong? Is this getting confusing?

 

I mean I am not trying to judge people by what they make as their personal choices but I cant allow that to go on in front of my children. I sensor their music, movies and video games. They are only 5 and 8 years old. I am not going to be that strict as they grow up all the time but for right now age appropriate things are what they need. They are children. They dont need to know about all the stuff that is on the tv and radio. We listen to country music and the mix. It doesnt have swearing and doesnt talk about drugs and sex all the time. I am doing this all on my own. I am a single mom of two that just wants to raise two well mannered successful adults. And I am trying to understand some things that I dont right now. Thanks for any insights into this.

[konfuzd]

I think that the extremes of either situation can cause a child to turn to drugs: 2 cases for you:

 

1-My ex bf- His father is a drug dealer, mother an avid drug user. His father bought a house for he and his brother, and helped them set up a grow op. It was the only life he has ever known. He was brought up with the mentality that it's not wrong until you get caught. They are the closest family I've ever seen. They support eachother through all life's decisions and never judge one another. They have a very unique and beautiful relationship, where everything is open, and they accept the faults of one another, and look out for eachother.

 

2-me- My parents were very controlling. I had the earliest curfew of anyone in my high school. I was not allowed to have many friends. Was never allowed to go to parties. Couldn't drink coca-cola until I was 12 because of it's historical link to cocaine. I began sneaking out of the house to get high with friends, I moved out at 17 and was reckless. I have many resentment issues with my family. They constantly judge me and my friends, and I feel I need to hide a certain aspect of myself from them. I am not a heavy drug user, but I do use, and I know the underlying reasons.

 

Everyone has their reasons for using. Not all will be associated with family, but with friends, stress from school, work, pressure from media/pop culture etc... If you try to shelter them too much, it will only lead to them sneaking around behind your back if they choose to get involved (not saying they will, but in all honesty it is not totally in your control). I think you need to decide, and be prepared that in the event they do chose that path in life, how you want to deal with it, and if you'd rather know or shut your eyes to it.

[snootylj]

I understand your situation, but what was your childhood like? I have one son and I try not to swear as around him but, it happens. He has never repeated these words or used them at school. I have family members who sensor everything there kids see, hear, outings they attend and attend church 3 times a week. My son has learned more things from them 2 kids, who are FORBIDDEN to be around those so called BAD things. I grew up in a family where I was exposed to pot smoking and alcoholic family members. They never directly smoked pot in front of use, but it does smell! I don't smoke pot and I will drink ocassionaly, but not the extremes I was raised around. I had a very good childhood, my parents were there for me, but we weren't the brady bunch and had our fair share of problems. I feel by not letting your children express there personalities by keeping them from televison,movies,video games and so on, that when the chance is given kids like that go the extremes with what the have seen, because it is so forbidden when it really isn't that bad, but mom won't let them it is even cooler to go wild. I have very liberal opionions on how the raise kids, I won't let him see or do everything that is out there, but I forbid don't everyday life to him. He will eventually make the right decisions or wrong ones and learn from others, I will always try to give advice and a push in the right direction.

[Art_Critic]

I am a firm believer that parents that use drugs have children that use drugs.

 

Here is an interesting link on parental drug use being child abuse..

 

http://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov/general/legal/statutes/drugexposed.cfm

[DevinWolfe]

My dad smokes marijuana on occasion and i have never and will never touch it. My mother is an alchoholic (happy drunk) and i have recently been drunk for the first time in my life... hated it and havent touched a drop since.

[Art_Critic]

My dad smokes marijuana on occasion and i have never and will never touch it. My mother is an alchoholic (happy drunk) and i have recently been drunk for the first time in my life... hated it and havent touched a drop since.

 

Good for you.. keep that attitude..

 

If I remember you are 18.. I got drunk for the first time when I was 17, then didn't drink ( because I hated it and said I never would touch it again ) I didn't until I was legal ( 19 back then ) I drank Alcoholically until I quit and have been quit almost 19 years..

My dad was an Alcoholic and the disease is hereditary..

 

Something to think about

[littlekitty]

My dad was an Alcoholic and the disease is hereditary..

 

Art this really interests me. Has this been proven?

 

My father was an Alcoholic (he died 3 years ago - alcohol related), and I have at times had my struggles with drinking. I was always interested in the link and my mother often said she thought it was hereditary....

[Art_Critic]

Art this really interests me. Has this been proven?

I don't think it has been proven but I do think links have been drawn.

 

I heard one time about a DNA gene..

 

http://www.healthrecovery.com/

 

is a great website talking about the chemical factors as well click on the

Its Not All In Your Mind link near the top.. it talks about twins and hereditary links

[littlekitty]

Thanks Art. That was most interesting, and enlightening!

 

As I said my father was an alcoholic, but wasn't present in my life from the age of 1. This fits exactly with what they say that it doesn't appear to be nuture, but rather nature that is the link.

 

[lilmoma1973]

My dad smokes marijuana on occasion and i have never and will never touch it. My mother is an alchoholic (happy drunk) and i have recently been drunk for the first time in my life... hated it and havent touched a drop since.

 

Good for you Devin.. My friend smokes pot and her family smoked it around her and had parties when she was little ..She is a mother of 2 and married and her h got her started on it cause he done it and she does what he does !! I have never touched drugs in my life no pills ,marijuana ,only drank as a teenager now can't stand alcohol..

[blind_otter]

My mom has never smoked a cigarette and can't drink alcohol as she is allergic and will go into anaphylactic shock (swell up like a toad and turn purple and suffocate). My Dad was a functional alcoholic my whole life. Because alcohol is "legal" he indulged in front of me all the time.

 

I think there may be a sensitivity that is inherited, but it seems like certain circumstances must be fulfilled before an addictive personality is created.

 

Honestly my parents don't even care that much that I have an alcohol problem, but apparently smoking pot is like shooting up heroine to my mother. Go figure.

[DevinWolfe]

Good for you.. keep that attitude..

 

 

Good for you Devin..

 

Thanks guys.

Yes, I am 18 and I think one of the reasons i did it is because my relationship of over 2 years finally went down the drain a couple months back and i was kind of rebelling (or something). Dramatic, painful ending, first major relationship, lost virginity together... blah, blah... Now I realize it was really stupid and did not like not being in control of myself.

 

Doctors told me the same thing about hereditery inheritance because my mother is alchoholic and her father and his father so it goes back some generations on my mother's side. I don't think it made me an alchoholic from that one time but i know now that i have a subconscience desire to try more. I have still maintaned complete control though.

[mommy of 3]

Both of my parents smoked and drank, my mom is addicted to marajuana still to this day. They were very verbally violent while together and fought all of the time, and they seperated when i was very young. My father was very controlling and physically abusive. he liked to run the household like an army, where when we moved in with my mom, she would have a beer with us, while inviting my friends to sleep with her. This was very hard on me and my sisters. Now my sister and her BF fight and scream and take Drugs in front of my neices and nephews (popping pain meds, drinking alcohol, ect.) and they (my neices and nephews) feel immune as if it is normal behaviour. They know way too much about sex, and drugs, and who's doing what, than any child under 10 should.

 

I on the other hand, at first followed, and i did drugs by the age of 11, and was pregnant with my 1st daughter by the age of 14. Then, my mom kicked me out, and when my daughter was born, my whole perspective changed. I was 15 in my own apartment (with help from a wonderful independant living program for teens), and i quit smoking and drugs and alcohol, and now i am married with 3 kids, and my children never hear yelling, i talk to them all of the time about drugs (since my oldest is 9, and i started at 11, i dont want any room for error), and they live in a smoke free, drug free, violence free enviornment. I see a marked difference in the way my sisters children act, and my children act. I actually have to stop my sisters children from talking about thier parents or family mambers doing drugs , and let them know that its not normal. i let my children know that people who do drugs are putting themselves and the people around them in a very dangerous situation. I even tell my sisters kids to try to leave the room, if they see it, and try to express to my own children the differences they see in me and my sister, and how she always yelling at her children, and the way that i never yell at, or cuss at, or call them names like my sister does. I tell them that thats what drugs do to you. They make you mean to people who love you, and they make you a bad person that doesnt care about anything as much as thier next bit of drugs. they are not allowed around my mom at all, and only with me there at my dads at christmas. You are being a good mom, and you will notice the difference when you see other peoples children who live in drug abused homes. You can see the scars in the way they talk, and the way they dont know what normal rules are like, or for instance, they dont wear pajamas to bed, they wear thier cloths, or they dont get a bath every day, or they are very angry children. There are signs. Parents who abuse drugs are generally physically neglectful, and usually teach thier children that thier drug of choice isnt as bad as other drugs (marajuana users especially!!) I hope this has been helpful. I commend you for putting your children first, and making sure that your childrens quality of life comes before all others. Be sure and talk to your children about drugs and smoking, and gun saftey. it is never too soon. if you dont talk about it with them soon, and often, they will not know what to do when the situation presents itself. Talk to them about peer pressure. It happens sooner and sooner these days, so dont wait. There are sites that help you with it and offer support. I am a firm believer that the parent is the anti-drug:)