Stories on getting your second chance

[AltplanB]

Does anyone have stories on how you got your second chance? I dont care if it workout out or not but i am interested in how you went about convincing them either through NC or whatever to get them back. Any suggestions or strategies?

[Lishy]

You cant get them back. They have to come of their own free will.

 

No contact will give them time to realise how they really feel about you. If they want to get back with you then they will let you know.

[pooh23350]

Here is my story.In march 2005 my boyfriend broke up with me.He called me one night after he left here and told me he did not think would work out.I was so heart broken and I cried for hours.I did not contact him at all during the break up because I knew if I did it would have made it harder on me.than in july 2005 he came to my house with a friend of mine and her boyfriend.She asked me first if it was ok if he tagged along and I told her yes.I was not sure if thats what I really wanted because I knew if I saw him it would hurt and it would be real hard on me.But I did really well for not seeing him for a few months.I knew the feelings were still there.After awhile while he was inside by himself and the rest of us were outside I decided to go inside.He was on the couch and I sat down on the other end of the couch.He took me in his arms and told me he was sorry for what he did back in march.I almost started crying because I knew I still loved him and all and I did not know exactly how he still felt about me.Well by the end of the night we were back together and on jan.8th it will be 6 months since we have been back together.And we are happy.So the advice I am gonna give you is just be patient and if he wants you back he will come back to you.just wait and see what happens.Dont push him or that will push him away.I hope I helped a little bit.

[Lishy]

What a lovely story!!

 

That will give people some hope - And it strengthens the fact that No contact does work. Had you called and begged you would not be together today!

 

Good luck for your future together hon!

[freckles3131]

I'm on my third chance: What I did in the past that DIDN'T work and made a mess of things.....lengthy emails, long phone messages, analyze it to death and provide scenarios as to how it "could" work (i.e attempts to "convince him") have it all "mapped out", "made myself too available", always made sure to keep myself in the picture by sending joke emails often, being where he would be, begged, pleaded, cried, you name it......

THIS TIME: I did N/C....for the first time in 5 yrs. For the first time I wasn't "predictable, wasn't lowering my self-worth by pursuing and pushing, was "cordial/business-like" when I did see him, was "happy, fun, outgoing," around him (not to him, but in his presence) wasn't too stand-offish, but just "normal" not going out of my way, not always glancing in his direction when around him, basically acted like he was "just another person in the room" while I was my free-spirited, fun and happy-go-lucky, normal self.....ONE MONTH later.............he calls, calls and calls.....every time...I waited a bit of time....(mystery..a very, good thing!) When on the phone....NO relationship or heavy discussion......let HIM do ALL the talking......when he asked to meet up...did not agree right away, said I "needed to get back to him tomorrow" then........agreed to meet. When we did get together he asked me "how I felt" I said, "I'm not the one doing the talking anymore.....it's your turn....you know how I feel." and from that point on.....it's been HIM calling, him saying getting a dose of not having me in his life was a huge reality check, that he didn't like the way that felt and made him realize what that would be like.....that getting "that feeling" allowed him to "feel" and he hasn't been allowing himself to "feel" for a long time.....we are going on a month and it's been great. I am loving, but not in a over the top kind of way like I used to be...he is being VERY loving, caring, etc...I honestly think it's because I was literally a minute away from being over him...when he called me....(just like we read about on here often....) I was keeping busy, getting back in touch with my "happy" side, living my life...and I swear, I was at the "I can take it or leave it" stage when the call came.....so because I had gotten to that stage I was able to be more "healthy" for "us" this time around...PLUS....it makes a world of difference when THEY come to YOU.......totally changes everything. I don't think I could be with him otherwise....and part of me held onto that while I did the N/C.....I said to myself, "He needs to show ME...he needs to come to me, otherwise I will NEVER fully trust in it." and that is what happened and I can relax, trust and enjoy....and just "be"

[AltplanB]

I really enjoyed those stories. My girl probably ain't comin back but i still like hearing these. Keep em comin.

[Nicholas]

It's been my experience that, after the frantic efforts to get them back, the relationship will eventually dissolve because of the same reason it did in the first place.

 

If someone doesn't want you, it's really hard for them to convince themselves that they were wrong, and you can't do it for them.

[Lonestar]

A couple years ago I decided I wanted to sleep with my ex-husband again after more than 2 years apart, with very little contact except for our kid. I left him a voicemail telling him that I thought we should use each other for sex. We were in bed together a couple nights later. That led to 2,3,4 times a week until the feelings came rushing back and we were in love again.

 

But like another poster said, the same things that led to our demise the first time, killed it all again. There was a 3rd and 4th chance too. Now I hope he falls off the face of the earth.

[Mr.P]

My story for when I got my ex back (it didn't last) is when she called it off and just wanted to be friends, I had some flowers delivered to her house and sent a couple of emails (she didn't want to talk to me). Then we started talking and she said she was not interested in going back out with me, she no longer has feelings for me. That was a blow but I kept at it and eventually she came round one night and we got back together. I asked her why she said she didn't have feelings for me when she really did and she said "I wanted to see how genuine you were and whether you'd go find someone else".

 

Now it's different, she has gone elsewhere twice but I seem to be the only ex that's talking to her. Maybe that's a sign that the others were much stronger characters than I am!

 

I didn't send flowers after our last break up as we parted on bad terms, but we're civil now but haven't really talked about our split. I'd like to have a sit down chat with her about the problems we had but I need to go on a long self improvement course first.