Friend or Love?

[Trailblazer247]

I need help, preferably from a girls point of view:

 

I have been seeing a girl since mid October of 2000. We met kinda ironically. I met her dad first at my friends' dads barber shop. My barber asked me if i wanted to meet a nice girl, reluctatly, I saif ok. So he proceded to introduce me to "her" dad. Long story short, we met, we started casually talking on the phone every so often. Then one day I had the guts to ask her out for lunch and a movie, and she agreeded. Now, so we went out every weekend for a couple of weeks, then on my birthday, she got me a cake and a card and I went to her house to celebrate. "Speed up time". December, we share more time togther while she is off from college. "Middle point note: She is very focused to school, she was raised in a catholic all girl school, and etc conservatively raised" But being focused, she still made/makes time to go out with me....at christmas, i was shocked when she got me some expensive perfume etc; even at valentine's day, she got me a very nice shirt. So, being all of this...i have slowly showed her my feelings about her, like telling her how i feel about her.....so glad we had met, that she was beatiful, I have done sweet things like roses for when she was sick, had them deleivered. She has invited me to eat over her house numerous times, her parents really treat me like i belong there,etc. So there are signs that i can say that she must like me. But this is where i get confused......First, whenever we go out, i feel like i should pay for everything, i feel like a gentleman, but shre always trys to pay her way...even though she doesn't have a job. Her parents wont let her work yet....they want her to do college. She even askes me why i always have to pay. Second thing that bothers me; she doesnt really show any feelings for me.....whenever we get off the phone, i say "i love you" which i truely mean. She never responds back with that. But then she'll be glad to go to my house to sit with my parents and eat dinner with my family. We talk really openly in the car when i am with her, but i have never got the guts to ask her how she feels about me....but then i dont really help...i have never tried to hold her hand, kiss her, or much of anything.....in fear of scaring her off...and this has been 9 months of this.....so i am confused. There are alot of small things "signs" that i assume are signs that she does like me, but it's hard....what do i do? she means so much to me...and i truely think she likes me, but i think she does't know how to show it...because of maybe how she was raised.....sh told me over dinner once..that she is really picky about who she hangs out with as far as guys go, and that how i am her "best" friend here. she recently moved from onther state. and how i am so level headed. She also gives me clues like when i leave her house after going out. we'll kiss on the cheek and a nice warm hug.....she'll say. 'i had a great time" i dunno maybe i am over analyzing this to much, but i really need some female insight, as like tonight, one of my pen pals basically told me that and i quote """ someone to go out and do things and not have the pressure or

 

thoughts that most guys would you know safe to hang with

 

but no commitment"""" also they had this to say """"""she knows its been the two of you for quite awhile....no

 

compition.....she wants someone to hang with....feel safe with....your parents like her hers like you.....its perfect till things change for you or her or both..."""""""""" and then they also said this """"""""" thats why i say if she had any strong feelings as loving type feelings

 

she would want you to know so you didn't seek those feelings elsewere and the two of you make it for the long haul. SO, THIS is the kind of stuff that gets me all messed up people.

 

I mean I am the one who usually calls her to go out. But she always returns my calls when i leave a msg. And i know its not another guy, cause her personality proves it. Whenever she isnt home, she's with her parents, etc . I mean i am going crazy, trying to figure out if it's that she likes me, but doesnt want to show it just yet....or she just want to use me as a hang out buddy to go out with out, not having to worry about the pressures of having sex or being intimate. I dunno, the thing is, she knows how i am, and i think she knows how i feel about her, but still it's like i'm being let on...but then other times i feel maybe, i'm over analzying all of it.....i mean.....she has done things that i dont think "just friends" do....like ask to take a picture together in front of her xmas tree during christmas, then making sure i get a double copy of it....i dunno..it's confusing.......but all i know is...i will continue going out with her, and being her friend, but never really knowing if it will go anywhere, or if it's not going anywhere, not because she doesn't want it to, but maybe just her parents wished not to let it get to serious, for the sake of her career and goals, or something like that...which i truley respect....and undersand.....

 

please any input would be greatly appreciated..

 

P.S. For those who think they can help me with advise...

 

i left out alot of details that i didn't write her, that i could fill you in on, if you think it would help your judgment of my relationship with this girl...

 

my email is:

 

<e-mail address removed>

 

please once again email me with any insight you might have.....

 

i just want to make her happy, and will always love her, no matter whatever it turns out to be...

 

sincerely,

 

wanting anwsers,

 

Trailblazer247

[sparkle]

9 months has been plenty of time. Talk to her about how you feel, ask her how she feels, what she wants to do. You should know by now. Are you going out with her? Is she your girlfriend? Are you two committed to each other?

 

These are questions you should be able to answer without even thinking. So if you don't know the answer, talk to her NOW and figure it out.

 

Maybe she's waiting for YOU to make a move on her. So hold her hand...kiss her...show her some affection. You'll know how she feels by the way she reacts to you when you do this.

[Artlover]

I agree with Sparkle. Sweetie, I don't know how old you are, but you could end up stuck in this holding pattern indefinitely, if you don't take a chance and make some kind of a move. Just try holding her hand. Or putting your arm around her. And TALK to her. This can go on FOREVER, if you don't do something!

 

Good luck.

9 months has been plenty of time. Talk to her about how you feel, ask her how she feels, what she wants to do. You should know by now. Are you going out with her? Is she your girlfriend? Are you two committed to each other? These are questions you should be able to answer without even thinking. So if you don't know the answer, talk to her NOW and figure it out. Maybe she's waiting for YOU to make a move on her. So hold her hand...kiss her...show her some affection. You'll know how she feels by the way she reacts to you when you do this.

[trafficguy2000]

I recently got that from a girl who I was spending time with for the last seven months. Read my story and you'll see (its down below) She may just have you there as an emotional backboard for her until something else comes along. Be careful and good luck. Trust me its better to know how someone feels after a few months instead of dragging it out forever! Its got to be killing you because I know it killed me!

I agree with Sparkle. Sweetie, I don't know how old you are, but you could end up stuck in this holding pattern indefinitely, if you don't take a chance and make some kind of a move. Just try holding her hand. Or putting your arm around her. And TALK to her. This can go on FOREVER, if you don't do something! Good luck.