Why cant i stick to NC ??

[ciara12step]

Everytime i feel that i get the upper hand, i give in and do somethin idiotic and text her .. and she responds within seconds ! .. but if i keep applying NC maybe it will draw her closer .. Now i've lost her for new years as shes gonna go out of town again with friends ..

 

she basically is confused on what she wants with us, she cant let go of us, but yet she wants time to think about it , .. we had sex on tuesday, and from there i wasnt gonna call her just to try to turn things around and play hard 2 get .

 

. wednesday night comes around, and i start thinking weird things in my head because i know she went out that same nite after we had sex .. (she's bi curious so she wants to experience girls, and altho i wasnt for it 100%, i kinda gave my blessing), i always thought it would be around me (her girl involvement) , but she explained somethin she wants to try alone (she hasnt tried it yet) .. i just get scared one day shes gonna be around some other guy and a girl or somethin someday ..

 

well wed nite comes (last nite) .. and my STUPID ASS ends up texting her, shes been sick, so i tex't her with "how are u feelin' .. seconds later she text me back with not too good .. and then we were textin back and forth .. so i asked her about the nite at the club, and she said, i spent the night at a girls house, baby im tired im gonna go to sleep love, and then my mind started tickin like a time bomb .. why was she not finishing the convo ? well i text'd her again, and no responses ..

 

this morning , i call, and she picks up , and says she just stayed the night at a girls house and promised me nothing happened .. i just hate how before she used to ALWAYS return every text and call withtout leaving me hanging, and now she has lost alot of respect .. and i think i damaged in getting that respect back ..

 

i wanted to spend christmas or new years with her, and she has chosen to go out of town for both, its like i hardly exist now , and i keep beating myself up , why do i keep hanging on .. i feel like i've found the love of my life, but i think im gonna end up torturing myself by waiting on her every limb tryin to make it work ..

 

i try to stay busy and stick to NC .. but i always end up not stayin busy enough .. someone help please !

[notmakingsense]

Dude, you already know what you have to do... so just do it now. Stick with NC. Judging from what's been going on, if you try to contact her -- you will push her away for sure. Make sure you are out and having a blast on New Year's eve... if you feel compelled to contact her that night -- DON'T!

[clandestinidad]

It might be helpful to keep your hands busy so theyre not on your phone. Is there anything you like to do? Build models? Puzzles? Write? You could go out and do something and leave your phone.

 

I just think you should stay away from your phone as long as you can, b/c then you'll be less likely to pick it up and txt or call her.

[J dub]

I hate to be the one to say it, but your actions reek (sp?) of desperation and clinginess. Dont contact her.

 

Just like anything else in life thats rewarding (ie, working out, staying healthy, maintaining a career, and of course, NC) takes extreme self-discipline and you will not see results over night. You have to make up your mind once and for all, no more contact...and stick to it.

 

You will most certainly benefit from no contact in your situation. She is totally confused.

[johan]

Ok. What do you want from a woman anyway?

 

Would you describe your perfect woman as someone who is confused about you? No. She'd be positive she wants to be with you.

 

Would she go out partying after you have sex with her? No. She'd spend the rest of the night with you.

 

Would she be experimenting sexually with other people, not to mention excluding you from it? No. She'd include you in the things she's interested in, and none of it would involve naked time with other people. Girls or guys.

 

Would she leave you worried all the time wondering if she'll get together with some guy while experimenting? No. She would do and say things to put you at ease.

 

Would she return your calls and messages? Of course she would, as soon as possible.

 

Would she want to spend time over the holidays with you above all? Yes.

 

This girl is nowhere close to your perfect woman. She's a waste of your time at this point. So what's the point of contacting her? None. It just hurts, because you keep expecting things and getting disappointed.

 

If you're going to call and text her, then why don't you call and text all the other girls who have nothing to offer you. That would be a good way to keep busy.

[ciara12step]

i really do appreciate all your answers .. if it wasnt for this board i'd be losin my mind already . .and u people have been there for me .. i just have to stay busy .. bottom line . and kinda put in my mind that were already broken up .. that way i'll get used to it ..

[pippen_2k]

Man im tellin ya, Mobile Phones are evil!

 

People are getting way too dependant on them these days, and go nowhere without them.

 

Im sure you told me before that you cant turn your phone off ... ? Whys that ? You will save yourself alot of grief.... I fkn hate text messages! You can never tell what the person is feeling and it plays with your mind.

[ciara12step]

mobile phones are evil !!

 

u never know what theyre feeling, and your mind keeps playin tricks and think the worst sometimes ..

 

one thing that stuck in my mind all night , was when cali guy was sayin

 

'dont settle for crumbs of affection ' ..

 

that has been stuck in my head all night, and makin me think . . u know what he's right .. im alot better then this .. if its gonna work, shes gonna come to me ..

 

right ?

[Lonestar]

Ok. What do you want from a woman anyway?

 

Would you describe your perfect woman as someone who is confused about you? No. She'd be positive she wants to be with you.

 

Would she go out partying after you have sex with her? No. She'd spend the rest of the night with you.

 

Would she be experimenting sexually with other people, not to mention excluding you from it? No. She'd include you in the things she's interested in, and none of it would involve naked time with other people. Girls or guys.

 

Would she leave you worried all the time wondering if she'll get together with some guy while experimenting? No. She would do and say things to put you at ease.

 

Would she return your calls and messages? Of course she would, as soon as possible.

 

Would she want to spend time over the holidays with you above all? Yes.

 

This girl is nowhere close to your perfect woman. She's a waste of your time at this point. So what's the point of contacting her? None. It just hurts, because you keep expecting things and getting disappointed.

 

If you're going to call and text her, then why don't you call and text all the other girls who have nothing to offer you. That would be a good way to keep busy.

 

 

Great post, johan! I don't say that often..

[gfto]

Extremely well put, Johan! This girl isn't confused at all. She simply has low interest in you, and zero respect for you. Don't contact her again, and don't reply to any text messages from her. Time for a new girlfriend!