ikonik Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 (edited) i think my boss might like me but everytime i think that with a girl i'm misinterpreting the signs so i'm here to ask if there's anything. here are the "signs" i thought might signal interest: -she once came up to me and said she like because of my sassiness and she looked like she had this like it took her some courage to say it. -she calls me pookie/poogie/bestie but i don't really remember what i did to earn this. i am a funny guy and she is my current boss and i cracked jokes a lot with her and my previous boss, they were close friends, but i don't know if that would make me someones' 'bestie.' - i was in the break room with a couple colleagues and she came in and was standing behind me and later came up from behind to squeeze my bicep/upper arm. then she also rested her hand on my chair, getting pretty close. -a lot of the times she is alone in the conference room or the managers break room and calls me over to hang out with her -she asked me to commute with her a few days ago because she was scared of a mean looking customer. another time a group of aggresive guys came over and she called me over not really saying antying but i got the hint that she wanted to feel safe. another guy colleage was closer to her so i feel like she could've called him but instead she called me over. Edited April 14 by ikonik Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 Sounds more like she's sexually harassing you. Her behavior is inappropriate for the workplace. Pet names & touching employees is a big no no. While she is your boss, stay away. Dating the boss will only cause problems. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted April 14 Author Share Posted April 14 34 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Sounds more like she's sexually harassing you. Her behavior is inappropriate for the workplace. Pet names & touching employees is a big no no. While she is your boss, stay away. Dating the boss will only cause problems. i don't interpret as harassment i thought she is just comfortable around me Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 She does seem a bit flirtatious. Albeit some people are just naturally friendly and touchy-feely without any romantic intentions. She's your boss and while I don't agree with 100% of the strict professional distance concept, I'd hope no boss would try anything overtly flirty with their subordinate no matter how sincerely and genuinely the attraction is. Does she only make "poogie" gestures with you or others as well? Are there any unique interactions between just the two of you, or is it part of her natural social behavior? If she has a reputation for being flirtatious in the company, I would suggest being cautious about interpreting her actions towards you as romantic. Weigh your options. Any transgression between boss and subordinate has potential to be legally troublesome should it go wrong. You don't want to work in an environment where she feels the need to find a replacement for you just to make things "relaxed" between you two and you don't want to read more into whatever is happening and see something that's simply not there. No judgement, you probably already thought through all this, but if my comment serves as a soundboard, at least your risk of overstepping that carefully thought through thought process will be much less and you'll have done a good part of the work by starting this thread. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 I have to ask the q : does it matter at all whether she “likes” you (romantically)? You don’t feel uncomfortable so what is the issue? Are you thinking of making a move or do you have a crush on her? Since you’re not uncomfortable just be cordial at work and finish your job each day. Keep things strictly platonic and professional. I think you’re reading a bit too much into the work interactions which leads me to believe you have a crush. There’s nothing wrong with that but I’d suggest you expand your social circle or join meet up groups in your area. Too much focus here on what your female boss is doing at work. Spend more time with other people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 4 hours ago, ikonik said: she once came up to me and said she like because of my sassiness and she looked like she had this like it took her some courage to say it What does this even look like? She girtted her teeth and squinted or something? Me thinks you are projecting, because I can't imagine the facial expression one makes when they needed courage to say something. I get that you want to believe she was nervous, but this is a woman who has no problem calling you a pet name or touching you. I sincerely doubt she needed muster up the courage to say she likes your sassy attitude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted April 14 Author Share Posted April 14 (edited) 24 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What does this even look like? She girtted her teeth and squinted or something? Me thinks you are projecting, because I can't imagine the facial expression one makes when they needed courage to say something. I get that you want to believe she was nervous, but this is a woman who has no problem calling you a pet name or touching you. I sincerely doubt she needed muster up the courage to say she likes your sassy attitude. ok, maybe read into that too much, but what about the other stuff? Edited April 14 by ikonik Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 22 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What does this even look like? She girtted her teeth and squinted or something? Me thinks you are projecting, because I can't imagine the facial expression one makes when they needed courage to say something. Sounds similar to the way a person might look when they are trying to suppress a flatulent emission. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 I know you are hoping but honestly, this is just going to create a hostile work environment of company gossip, innuendo, and then later harassment. Shouldn't put yourself in the position of bosses pet/love interest. Might seem like a good idea/fantasy, but it will be disruptive to you and coworkers, with the possibility of losing your job. If you like working there, please keep it professional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted April 14 Author Share Posted April 14 i guess it's fun to just flirt, i understand the risks. there was also one other time she made a joke and after she grazed my wrist....another time she came to the break room and did like a strut thing across from me and looked at a snack, while she did that she flicked her hair back. after she made her way to my locker pretending to do my routine.. she doesn't call anybody else pookie that i know of. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 1 hour ago, ikonik said: .another time she came to the break room and did like a strut thing across from me and looked at a snack, while she did that she flicked her hair back. That you are over-reading. It was nothing & had nothing to do with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 10 hours ago, ikonik said: another time she came to the break room and did like a strut thing across from me and looked at a snack, while she did that she flicked her hair back Again, you are reading way too much into things. She likely didn't even notice what she was doing but you are applying some hidden subtext when there was none. 10 hours ago, ikonik said: after she made her way to my locker pretending to do my routine.. What do you mean, she pretneded to do your routine? Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 The part where she needs you on that trip because she's scared of a customer... that sounds like she's into you. Probably the same customer she's visited alone 5 times already Some of her behaviour is crossing the line. I would not touch an employee like she did. The squeeze in the arm could be interpreted as harrasment in northern European and American culture. But it's only harrasment if you experience it that way. Which brings me to the big question: would you want to date your boss? All the rationals say: don't to it. But the heart wants what it wants and if you are willing to take all the risks then at least be gentle and careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted April 16 Author Share Posted April 16 apparently she is going on vacation with HER BF.😪 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted September 5 Author Share Posted September 5 update: she is planning to quit soon. should i make a move? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 Does she still have a boyfriend? If so, then no. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 13 hours ago, ikonik said: update: she is planning to quit soon. should i make a move? Do you want to make a move? If she's not interested, can you handle the rejection? Whether or not you make a move is entirely your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted September 5 Author Share Posted September 5 51 minutes ago, basil67 said: Do you want to make a move? If she'ys s not interested, can you handle the rejection? Whether or not you make a move is entirely your decision. yes i do, yes i can. it would suck initially if she did reject but after a while it wears off. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 20 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Does she still have a boyfriend? Quoting myself because you haven't answered this, @ikonik Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted September 6 Author Share Posted September 6 7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Quoting myself because you haven't answered this, @ikonik the last time i heard she does, but recently she's been posting relationship quotes on her IG stories that seems like is very angry at her bf or at least her relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 What are you looking for? Just a hookup? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 1 hour ago, ikonik said: recently she's been posting relationship quotes on her IG stories that seems like is very angry at her bf or at least her relationship. Does this really seem like a good time to try to swoop in to you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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