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Porn Porn Porn, will it ever end???


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To make a much longer story short. My husband of 7 years is addicted to porn, or as he calls it women with HUGE breasts! He has thousands of downloaded pictures, vids and files all of these women. When I met him I knew this was a "fascination" of his but this has become the monkey on my back not just his. See, during this marriage we have brought 3 children into the world, two boys and a girl and he sees nothing wrong with doing his surfing on the computer in our 4 year old's room. It's become such and issue I'm ready to leave him. I do not want my children desensitized to sex! I do not agree with any of this behavior. I have realized if I give an inch he takes a mile, he lies, fakes, and hides all this thinking I won't figure it out. I'm not even at the point of hurt anymore and that scares me....I'm just freaking angry!!!!!!! I need some help some insight and some understanding, but please don't try to convince me doing this in our children's bedroom is right!

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I think your husband definitely has an issue which is causing tension in your marriage and needs to be brought out and dealt with quite plainly.

 

In itself, I don't think non-violent forms of porn or their use are dangerous or morally evil, but I agree young children should not be exposed to such material. I don't think your husband should be viewing and using such material on the computer which the children use, and children are quite clever at breaking into things.

 

I think it is better if you both find some way to use this 'fetish' to improve your mutual sex life, but at the same time make sure your husband doesn't use such material on the computer and so close to your children.

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Why is the computer in your 4 year olds room? Was it moved there in hopes that if it was there he wouldn't view it n the childs room? Addicts do not care where something is at, they will look/do it wherever they can. I'm assuming he doesn't watch this stuff in the presence of your child? At any rate this is a real problem here. Have you mentioned anything to him about SA (Sexual Addiction) counseling? If so, does he deny having a problem? If you are fearful your child may see this, unplug the computer.

 

 

 

 

Jade

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That's all I ever get...denial, he doesn't have a problem and wishes I would just let it go. I'm trying to control him, it's no big deal. I'm telling you I watch what he does like a hawk. He has as many as 120 emails with porn pictures emailed to him a day from groups he is a member of on Yahoo. And then that doesn't even count what he goes out there and finds for himself.

 

Counseling, even the mention of it makes him angry....I don't know what to do.

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"I don't know what to do."

 

 

You take your child and go to a friends or family memebers house for a bit. You can't make him go to counseling if hes not willing, you can't change the fact he is looking at what he is looking at, but you can control yourself and how you handle the situation. If that means you moving out for a bit then it might be what you have to do. Will it make him stop or change his ways? Possible but not likely, but the first thing he will have to do is admit he has a problem and get help. I see this as a continuing cycle that may only get worse. You may have to be the one to break that cycle.

 

 

 

 

 

Jade

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