Alpacalia Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 (edited) 58 minutes ago, Mizzcasual said: I gave him that long ago he’s been more flirty since doing more winking , looking at me in a type of way etc . I spoke to him today to try get past the small talk . Got off last . I said thank you then said Where are you from ? He was like what where am I from? Yeah he said I’m from far far away , I said where ? He said in I’m from (insert country) I said oh really nice was thinking you were from there he didn’t hear what I said had to repeat it He said I have to go cause I park here I said ok see you he said bye bye as I got off . Or I might’ve said the “insert country “guys are good looking and not said bye I think I said it and didn’t wait for his reaction getting shy I got too shy to ask for the number cause he said he had to go . Then said the (insert country) guys are good looking (not sure if he heard ) It was his last stop finishes before the of the shift bus back depot . I checked yesterday thought he would have more time to talk . Maybe he was late the bus was slightly earlier by like 15 mins yesterday . Guess it’s good he gave a reason he had to go running late . Well, if he's playing winky-winky with you, he's definitely not 100% shy. He's flirting with you which is usually a pretty good sign that a guy is interested! You gave him your number, so he knows that you're interested. Please refrain from asking for his number no matter how badly you want it. That shows desperation and squashes all the life out of romance. Edited May 21 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Well, if he's playing winky-winky with you, he's definitely not 100% shy. He's flirting with you which is usually a pretty good sign that a guy is interested! You gave him your number, so he knows that you're interested. Please refrain from asking for his number no matter how badly you want it. That shows desperation and squashes all the life out of romance. I can tell he’s shy not all men are the same always had a feeling he wasn’t if I gave him mine a weird instinct only had friends telling me . He’s not always winking definitely after he got the he number he was winking more. He’s definitely way different since he got my number in a big way . So likely was shy I expected he would stop but he didn’t upped the things. He seemed playful from our chat breaking the ice .He also seems to follow my lead doing other extra things . I might say it in a more suggestive way like we should WhatsApp sometime so it’s throwing it into his court . Then he can take it from there rather then directly ask. Edited May 21 by Mizzcasual Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 2 hours ago, Mizzcasual said: I can tell he’s shy not all men are the same always had a feeling he wasn’t if I gave him mine a weird instinct only had friends telling me . He’s not always winking definitely after he got the he number he was winking more. He’s definitely way different since he got my number in a big way . So likely was shy I expected he would stop but he didn’t upped the things. He seemed playful from our chat breaking the ice .He also seems to follow my lead doing other extra things . I might say it in a more suggestive way like we should WhatsApp sometime so it’s throwing it into his court . Then he can take it from there rather then directly ask. I'm not suggesting all men are the same. I am saying that he has your telephone number so at some point, it has to be assumed you will both start regularly communicating with each other in a more personal way. I think you can risk more. I think you can very lightly flirt and just go from there, like you've mentioned. Just continue to go with the flow and say the things in your own time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I'm not suggesting all men are the same. I am saying that he has your telephone number so at some point, it has to be assumed you will both start regularly communicating with each other in a more personal way. I think you can risk more. I think you can very lightly flirt and just go from there, like you've mentioned. Just continue to go with the flow and say the things in your own time. I gave the number like a year or something ago in January 2023 our dynamic is so different now . He like switched up way more since it I expected he would go cold or back but he done the opposite , that’s what other guys would do . So guess he was shy or not too sure yet . I think he was engaged in our conversation joking about where hr was from . I’ll try keep flirting so far he flirts back . He comes across he’s following my lead and responds positively when I do . Could try the casual we should WhatsApp or something see how he is whenever we chat then he can say yeah what’s your number etc. We’d never spoken before apart from small talk things move more slower than online I’ll go with the flow maybe the ice is broken now . Edited May 21 by Mizzcasual Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 3 minutes ago, Mizzcasual said: I gave the number like a year or something ago in January 2023 our dynamic is so different now . He like switched up way more since it I expected he would go cold or back but he done the opposite , that’s what other guys would do . So guess he was shy or not too sure yet . I think he was engaged in our conversation joking about where hr was from . I’ll try keep flirting so far he flirts back . He comes across he’s following my lead and responds positively when I do . Could try the casual we should WhatsApp or something see how he is whenever we chat then he can say yeah what’s your number etc. We’d never spoken before apart from small talk things move more slower than online I’ll go with the flow maybe the ice is broken now . Okay. Maybe he had a girlfriend at the time or something or he was just shy and took some time to open up. It's great that the dynamic has changed and he is responding positively to your flirting. It's good to keep it casual and take things slow. Maybe mentioning about chatting on WhatsApp can be a good way to exchange numbers without seeming too forward or pushy. If he's interested, he will definitely agree to exchanging numbers. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 Just now, Alpacalia said: Okay. Maybe he had a girlfriend at the time or something or he was just shy and took some time to open up. It's great that the dynamic has changed and he is responding positively to your flirting. It's good to keep it casual and take things slow. Maybe mentioning about chatting on WhatsApp can be a good way to exchange numbers without seeming too forward or pushy. If he's interested, he will definitely agree to exchanging numbers. Good luck! I think our conversation went good did it appear that way ? I expected I’d have swapped numbers today I forgot offline moves slower takes more time to build something. Suppose we’ve been gradually building some rapport we didn’t always see each like some months I don’t see him . I’ll try bring it up hopefully next time if I don’t get shy I might try the compliment again “insert country “ guys are good looking I don’t think he heard me or I didn’t see his reaction quickly got off , and bring up where I thought he was from . See how he reacts to the compliment or some other compliment to test the waters . If says he has to go again I could try what’s your WhatsApp talk when less busy or something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 3 hours ago, Mizzcasual said: I forgot offline moves slower takes more time to build something. I'm old. I'm so old that I've never done OLD, and trust me offline can actually move very fast because proximity makes it easier to jump right into a proper conversation. If he was interested, he would have called you when you gave him your number. Or, he would have said "Hi" and sat next to you on the bus the next time you rode it together and you'd been able to find out if the two of you get on well together. I interpret his winks as nothing more than a cheeky "hello", and trying to interpret his body language achieves nothing. I know he was running late when you saw him last, but it takes 5 seconds to say "I'm running late....I'll call you!" That's what people do when they are interested. May I ask why you're so keen on him? It doesn't sound like you actually know him. Is he a nice person? Does he have a girlfriend? I really hope you're not waiting on hold for this guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 (edited) 54 minutes ago, basil67 said: I'm old. I'm so old that I've never done OLD, and trust me offline can actually move very fast because proximity makes it easier to jump right into a proper conversation. If he was interested, he would have called you when you gave him your number. Or, he would have said "Hi" and sat next to you on the bus the next time you rode it together and you'd been able to find out if the two of you get on well together. I interpret his winks as nothing more than a cheeky "hello", and trying to interpret his body language achieves nothing. I know he was running late when you saw him last, but it takes 5 seconds to say "I'm running late....I'll call you!" That's what people do when they are interested. May I ask why you're so keen on him? It doesn't sound like you actually know him. Is he a nice person? Does he have a girlfriend? I really hope you're not waiting on hold for this guy. He way more flirty with all his interactions over time they’ve changed. I think he was shy he changed up more since then it was over a year ago like 2023 when he got the number not recently, I spoke o him yesterday broke to ice. He follows my lead . I sat behind him A few weeks to he got really nervous acted differently with me there. I think he’s single no ring anyway . Saw him today got off last . I said thanks you then said Where are you from ? He was like what where am I from? Yeah he said I’m from far far away , I said where ? He said in I’m from (insert country) I said oh really nice was thinking you were from there he didn’t hear what I said had to repeat it He said I have to go cause I park here I said ok see you he said bye bye as I got off . Or I might’ve said the “insert country “guys are good looking and not said bye I think I said it and didn’t wait for his reaction getting shy I got to shy to ask for the number cause he said he had to go . Then said the (insert country) guys are good looking (not sure if he heard ) It was his last stop finishes before the of the shift bus back depot . I checked yesterday thought he would have more time to talk . Maybe he was late the bus was slightly earlier yesterday by like 15/20 mins . Guess it’s good he gave a reason he had to go ? Edited May 22 by Mizzcasual Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 7 minutes ago, Mizzcasual said: He way more flirty with all his interactions over time they’ve changed. I think he was shy he changed up more since then it was over a year ago like 2023 when he got the number not recently, I spoke o him yesterday broke to ice. He follows my lead Saw him today got off last . I said thanks you then said Where are you from ? He was like what where am I from? Yeah he said I’m from far far away , I said where ? He said in I’m from (insert country) I said oh really nice was thinking you were from there he didn’t hear what I said had to repeat it He said I have to go cause I park here I said ok see you he said bye bye as I got off . Or I might’ve said the “insert country “guys are good looking and not said bye I think I said it and didn’t wait for his reaction getting shy I got to shy to ask for the number cause he said he had to go . Then said the (insert country) guys are good looking (not sure if he heard ) It was his last stop finishes before the of the shift bus back depot . I checked yesterday thought he would have more time to talk . Maybe he was late the bus was slightly earlier yesterday by like 15/20 mins . Guess it’s good he gave a reason he had to go ? Yes I know, you've copied and pasted this a couple of times already. Do you notice that he simply said "I have to go cause I park here"? This was him shutting you down. He didn't exchange even one pleasantry with you. He's so closed towards you that conversation is like pulling teeth! Again, please tell me that you're not waiting around for this guy because it's going nowhere Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Yes I know, you've copied and pasted this a couple of times already. Do you notice that he simply said "I have to go cause I park here"? This was him shutting you down. He didn't exchange even one pleasantry with you. He's so closed towards you that conversation is like pulling teeth! Again, please tell me that you're not waiting around for this guy because it's going nowhere He seemed to be running behind and gave explanation it was breaking the ice he was playful in the conversation at the start. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 3 hours ago, Mizzcasual said: He seemed to be running behind and gave explanation it was breaking the ice he was playful in the conversation at the start. Did he say anything another other than "I have to go cause I park here"? What did he say that was playful? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 9 minutes ago, basil67 said: Did he say anything another other than "I have to go cause I park here"? What did he say that was playful? The joking about being from far far away not straight away saying where he was from . No just that looks like he goes back to the depot after they do split shift. It looked like he was running late the bus same route time was 15/20 mins earlier. He didn’t stay there on the bus parked up drove to the depot. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 "Far far away" isn't necessarily playful. It could also be that he didn't want to discuss it and was trying to avoid the topic. And no matter how late he was running, if he'd been interested in you, he would have stopped for 10 seconds and asked if he could call. Or see you. Or said "it's been nice talking with you". But instead, he just quickly headed away. To be honest, these are the actions of a man who isn't interested. You are very much clutching at straws. And I'm still hoping that you're not only focused on him Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 16 minutes ago, basil67 said: "Far far away" isn't necessarily playful. It could also be that he didn't want to discuss it and was trying to avoid the topic. And no matter how late he was running, if he'd been interested in you, he would have stopped for 10 seconds and asked if he could call. Or see you. Or said "it's been nice talking with you". But instead, he just quickly headed away. To be honest, these are the actions of a man who isn't interested. You are very much clutching at straws. And I'm still hoping that you're not only focused on him I can tell from the conversation he was playful he didn’t need to joke. You wasn’t tell you can’t hear how it was . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 19 hours ago, happyhorizons said: I think that sounds good. At least, you have broken the ice with him. Took a while to get to that stage loli think he was running late the bus was 15/20 minutes later to the last stop and went back to the depot to end the first shift seems they do split shifts. Getting more comfortable joking? Maybe next time I get the number I have good reason to ask since he seemed a little busy. I was respecting that he needed to go didn’t seem like the right time to ask today. Probably continue taking the lead I think he’s responding to it ? Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 You seem to have things under control OP. Just let it happen naturally😊 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 15 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: You seem to have things under control OP. Just let it happen naturally😊 Ok I’ll try and it’s ok to ask for his number or WhatsApp if going good ? He seemed smiley when he realised I was asking where he’s from ? Probably was busy yesterday and ok he cut it short rushing in work ? Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Exactly. I think you will be able to have some nice conversations away from the rush traffic crowd going to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 24 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: Exactly. I think you will be able to have some nice conversations away from the rush traffic crowd going to work. Usually I get off last at the last stop so it’s only us in that particular direction. Maybe has schedule to clock out by and things Is it not too soon to ask for his number ? Maybe compliment him first after talking a little see how he is then ask or if he has to go again maybe say it then . He’s probably too shy to ask me for mine ? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 On 5/21/2024 at 2:58 PM, Mizzcasual said: I think our conversation went good did it appear that way ? I expected I’d have swapped numbers today I forgot offline moves slower takes more time to build something. Suppose we’ve been gradually building some rapport we didn’t always see each like some months I don’t see him . I’ll try bring it up hopefully next time if I don’t get shy I might try the compliment again “insert country “ guys are good looking I don’t think he heard me or I didn’t see his reaction quickly got off , and bring up where I thought he was from . See how he reacts to the compliment or some other compliment to test the waters . If says he has to go again I could try what’s your WhatsApp talk when less busy or something. He seems like a friendly person, so I think the conversation went well. He may have been caught off guard by your compliment, which is why he quickly got off. I would suggest trying to exchange Whatsapp, you gave him your phone number a year ago, he hasn't called and I would hate to see you spend another year waiting for him to make a move. So, if you're that interested, put yourself out there with the Whattsapp. If he doesn't seem receptive to it, then you know to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 So this guy is the bus driver? I sure don't think he came off as "shy" at ALL, with all the winking. Somebody winking directly at another person is quite forward and according to your description there were quite a few winks. I bet he's not single. He just knows you're into him and he's flirting. Otherwise he would certainly have called you by now. Are you going to a lot of trouble to be on his bus, sitting right behind him, being the last one on, etc? You are so confident that he treats you differently than everyone else, you must be around him for a great deal of his workday? Sounds like you're coming on about as strong as you possibly can. If you want to just ask him out I guess you might as well ... but I would not go into it thinking that he's available and interested in dating you at this time, from what you've shared. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 (edited) Wait...this guy is the bus driver? I thought he was a passenger. People who work with the public don't suffer from crippling shyness because talking to people is part of their role. If he was cripplingly shy, he'd be working in a role which has no interaction with others. The problem with working in customer service is that when a customer shows interest, the worker can't be bluntly honest. So respect dictates that you (the customer) can show interest (such as giving contact details) but then LEAVE ANY FURTHER CONTACT TO THEM. As the customer, you are in a position of power and you must not abuse this. And honestly, him rushing to his car without even saying "see you next time" shows that he couldn't get out of there quickly enough Back off. If he's interested, he knows your number. Edited May 23 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizzcasual Posted May 23 Author Share Posted May 23 5 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: So this guy is the bus driver? I sure don't think he came off as "shy" at ALL, with all the winking. Somebody winking directly at another person is quite forward and according to your description there were quite a few winks. I bet he's not single. He just knows you're into him and he's flirting. Otherwise he would certainly have called you by now. Are you going to a lot of trouble to be on his bus, sitting right behind him, being the last one on, etc? You are so confident that he treats you differently than everyone else, you must be around him for a great deal of his workday? Sounds like you're coming on about as strong as you possibly can. If you want to just ask him out I guess you might as well ... but I would not go into it thinking that he's available and interested in dating you at this time, from what you've shared. No I never sit behind him only once to see how he was he did act very different like acting up more than usual . Yeah he acts different with me . Also the number thing was like in 2023 but time has passed he’s way different since then .I don’t see him all the time but a lot . He seems shy at the start. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 He is not "shy." This man is not interested. Sorry, but it's plain as day. Please do not ask if you can What's App. That would just be awkward and uncomfortable. He has had your number for well over a year and has done nothing with it. He doesn't want to communicate privately with you. You need to stop and not make things uncomfortable for him in his workplace. He's already trying to put some distance there and subtly discourage you and you are not getting it. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 (edited) 2 hours ago, Mizzcasual said: No I never sit behind him only once to see how he was he did act very different like acting up more than usual . Yeah he acts different with me . Also the number thing was like in 2023 but time has passed he’s way different since then .I don’t see him all the time but a lot . He seems shy at the start. Again, people who are unable to have a conversation with others do not work with the public. He isn't shy, he's trying to maintain distance. He ran away from you at the end of his last shift! Please respect that this is his place of work and not a dating scene. If you ask for his WhatsApp, he will say no. He will likely tell you he has a girlfriend. And it will be weird and awkward for everyone. Edited May 23 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
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