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Living a nightmare. Should I just end my marriage, for good?


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Bellamy76

a father.
I'm just sick anxiety. I haven't had any face to face interaction with my husband. I travel a lot for work and so does he. Chat with him on the phone and I know he is in NYC for work and with family, I didn't tell him what I know or that this woman is trying to Serve him papers.
It's just so much to wrap my head around. The SHOCK that another woman is having my husband's baby and I am pregnant and the babies will be born around the same time. I'm not sure I should tell him I'm pregnant and maybe have an abortion or tell him, I want to divorce and move permanently to California, and have the baby secretly?
I know he is returning home to Miami this evening, he asked if he could stop by on his way from the airport to pick up a few things. I have a feeling he will be served at the airport?! The anticipation of what this evening may bring has me sick. I don't know what to do. That's why I'm reaching out for any advice. Help!!! I'm going crazy here!

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d0nnivain

Let me get this straight.  You are pregnant with your husband's baby. He doesn't know you are pregnant.  You have recently learned that your husband got another woman pregnant.  You two don't spend a great deal of time together & you have not decided to get a divorce.  You are actually so far along the divorce process that a complaint has been drafted & a process server is out looking for him.  

The process server is not chasing him through the airport.  Process servers don't work that hard except on TV.  They will come to the door of the house or get him at work. 

You have choices to make.  You can have the baby or you can get an abortion, maybe.  You mention him returning home to Miami.  You are probably way out of time to get an abortion in Florida at this point.  They are illegal after 6 weeks.   

If you have already had one abortion do you really want another?  If you can't deal with being a single parent, consider adoption. 

Whatever you do, do not have a baby in secret.  The child has a father who gets a say & who has an obligation to pay child support.  

Make a plan of what you want your life to look like.  Then go make that happen.  

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By all means, you need to get out of that relationship if he's cheating, but take this into consideration,,,,,you want to move to California.  If you have the baby and he finds out, he will fight you on that and you may have to stay in Florida by law.  (a possibility, but i'm no lawyer).  He's going to find out if you have the baby one way or another.  He might ignore the fact and any financial assistance is out the window for you.  He might not and then it'll get complicated.

It's a tough spot you are in and i'm sorry.  In the end, you need to do what's best for you.  Never forget that.

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