stillafool Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 1 hour ago, brokenbird said: Im sure you @NuevoYorko will hear about me, How is this possible? It's doubtful he cares. 1 hour ago, brokenbird said: But we are going to a different direction now, so its time I say thank you all, Wishing you and your boyfriend good will. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted April 27 Author Share Posted April 27 Just now, stillafool said: How is this possible? It's doubtful he cares. Wishing you and your boyfriend good will. Take care. Because he said he follows my journey along with other people's. Thanks, instead of staying negative, I will rather try and contain the 2 most important things in my brain that people thaught me here. 1 Two people can be in a loving and faithful relationship just because one looks at stuff that are visually pleasing/has fantasies. 2 I need to let go when things could become heated, because it is mostly me that transforms a tick into an elephant. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 Hello everyone. I didn't want to make a thread about this, because it is not that important, I am just curious,maybe someone will see. You guys used to tell me that I shouldnt monitor what my boyfriend views on the internet because that is not a real threat I should fear. A tiktok video came around where a girl posted what her boyfriend watched and hundreds of girls wrote that they felt so related and all guys like that should be broken up with. https://shorturl.at/adfvW So what I am curious about is, what about all these girls ? Are they all wrong for thinking that men are bad because of this? Are so many people confused? What I get from this is that 99 out of 100 men watch either this or that and women act like it is a surprise Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 4 minutes ago, brokenbird said: Hello everyone. I didn't want to make a thread about this, because it is not that important, I am just curious,maybe someone will see. You guys used to tell me that I shouldnt monitor what my boyfriend views on the internet because that is not a real threat I should fear. A tiktok video came around where a girl posted what her boyfriend watched and hundreds of girls wrote that they felt so related and all guys like that should be broken up with. https://shorturl.at/adfvW So what I am curious about is, what about all these girls ? Are they all wrong for thinking that men are bad because of this? Are so many people confused? What I get from this is that 99 out of 100 men watch either this or that and women act like it is a surprise To be honest you really shouldn't pay much attention to YouTube, Twitter, Tiktok...etc...etc comment sections. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 1 minute ago, Sony12 said: To be honest you really shouldn't pay much attention to YouTube, Twitter, Tiktok...etc...etc comment sections. Yeah I know. I also follow like 300 people so I can control most of the videos I see, because I like wholesome pet videos, videos of babies, nature, or funny stuff. Sometimes videos like this pop up and most of the time I scroll fast enough that I dont get something like this for 2 more months, but I was curious because it resonated with me, because I posted one time about my boyfriend watching a sexy music video on youtube. I got curious what people told this creator, and there are over 800 people telling her to get a new man just because of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 (edited) 7 minutes ago, brokenbird said: Yeah I know. I also follow like 300 people so I can control most of the videos I see, because I like wholesome pet videos, videos of babies, nature, or funny stuff. Sometimes videos like this pop up and most of the time I scroll fast enough that I dont get something like this for 2 more months, but I was curious because it resonated with me, because I posted one time about my boyfriend watching a sexy music video on youtube. I got curious what people told this creator, and there are over 800 people telling her to get a new man just because of this. Those aren't outlets to give genuine advice (probably the majority of the people that posted didn't even watch the video). Most of those places are just locations where people give a quick reaction and move on to something else that they can react to (and a lot of people create multiple profiles). Edited May 6 by Sony12 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 Seems like you are still trying desperately to confirm your own bias and get other people to agree with you that you're somehow "right.": Who cares about what a mass of randoms on TikTok have to say. I could find a video that has a few hundred people agreeing that sex with animals is great, or the Holocaust was a hoax, or the Earth is flat. Would that impress you? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 Further - I think everybody here thinks you should break up with this guy. Maybe not for the same reasons you think. Also - Lauren Alexis is a famous "influencer" with millions of followers who idolize her and will agree with whatever she posts because they are total fangirls. Nice try though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 1 hour ago, brokenbird said: Yeah I know. I also follow like 300 people so I can control most of the videos I see, because I like wholesome pet videos, videos of babies, nature, or funny stuff. Sometimes videos like this pop up and most of the time I scroll fast enough that I dont get something like this for 2 more months, but I was curious because it resonated with me, because I posted one time about my boyfriend watching a sexy music video on youtube. I got curious what people told this creator, and there are over 800 people telling her to get a new man just because of this. You really do live in a wonderfully imaginative, fantasy world… 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 11 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Further - I think everybody here thinks you should break up with this guy. Maybe not for the same reasons you think. Also - Lauren Alexis is a famous "influencer" with millions of followers who idolize her and will agree with whatever she posts because they are total fangirls. Nice try though. What nice try. What would I even try to accomplish with strangers? I dont know who that woman is, I didn't look into her, I just read the comments. 16 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Seems like you are still trying desperately to confirm your own bias and get other people to agree with you that you're somehow "right.": Who cares about what a mass of randoms on TikTok have to say. I could find a video that has a few hundred people agreeing that sex with animals is great, or the Holocaust was a hoax, or the Earth is flat. Would that impress you? Exact opposite. Im trying to make myself believe that if you are in a relationship that feels good for you, then you should not worry about stuff like this. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 15 minutes ago, brokenbird said: What nice try. What would I even try to accomplish with strangers? Why are you using this nonsense as "proof" to support your obsession? 15 minutes ago, brokenbird said: Exact opposite. Im trying to make myself believe that if you are in a relationship that feels good for you, then you should not worry about stuff like this. So you're trolling TikTok looking for videos that support your fears? Sorry, but I call BS. If you were wanting to move past your fears, you'd have a much different search parameter. Anyway, of course you don't feel good in this relationship. Hence the massive threads about your need to alter and control the guy - because that's what you think you will need in order to feel good. Some day I hope you will come to a place where you want to actually deal with this problem you have. It is not about your current boyfriend. It's a "you" thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 2 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Why are you using this nonsense as "proof" to support your obsession? So you're trolling TikTok looking for videos that support your fears? Sorry, but I call BS. If you were wanting to move past your fears, you'd have a much different search parameter. Anyway, of course you don't feel good in this relationship. Hence the massive threads about your need to alter and control the guy - because that's what you think you will need in order to feel good. Some day I hope you will come to a place where you want to actually deal with this problem you have. It is not about your current boyfriend. It's a "you" thing. Lol you think I have a profile with so many followers? I never made one video in my life. Also I never said it was my video. This person has a whole profile with X amount of videos from way earlier than me having this problem I have. I do want to deal with my problem, I just feel like this is not a me problem, but a men problem. It just doesnt feel right. Like, let's see a week. We go for long walks, talking about many things, having fun. We watch movies together, cuddleing, scratching each other's backs. We cook together and eat while talking about life. We give each other a kiss before going to work, even when the other is asleep. We hold hands even around the house. We send each other cute messages. We hug for hours and then fall asleep. I feel fine, then I notice something just like I said before, for example a music video. And I think to myself, why does this happen exactly ? I dont feel like it is a problem with me. And I dont mean the other stuff that are actually wrong with me, I talk about sexual content on the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 1 hour ago, brokenbird said: Hello everyone. I didn't want to make a thread about this, because it is not that important, I am just curious,maybe someone will see. You guys used to tell me that I shouldnt monitor what my boyfriend views on the internet because that is not a real threat I should fear. A tiktok video came around where a girl posted what her boyfriend watched and hundreds of girls wrote that they felt so related and all guys like that should be broken up with. https://shorturl.at/adfvW So what I am curious about is, what about all these girls ? Are they all wrong for thinking that men are bad because of this? Are so many people confused? What I get from this is that 99 out of 100 men watch either this or that and women act like it is a surprise Why would you care what an "influencer's" fanbase thinks? Comments on their page will always be biased, firstly because only people who are fans will follow the person and be shown their posts by the algorithm, and secondly because they can moderate their own pages and remove any comments they wish. It's like going to an Andrew Tate page and extrapolating the way his fans feel about women to how "all men" feel about women. Completely pointless exercise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 1 minute ago, Els said: Why would you care what an "influencer's" fanbase thinks? Comments on their page will always be biased, firstly because only people who are fans will follow the person and be shown their posts by the algorithm, and secondly because they can moderate their own pages and remove any comments they wish. It's like going to an Andrew Tate page and extrapolating the way his fans feel about women to how "all men" feel about women. Completely pointless exercise. I see what you mean, although it is not an influencer, as I see it , it is a random girl posting about depressing stuff and hundreds of girls agreeing and sharing that their boyfriends are/were this sh111y too Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 1 minute ago, brokenbird said: I see what you mean, although it is not an influencer, as I see it , it is a random girl posting about depressing stuff and hundreds of girls agreeing and sharing that their boyfriends are/were this sh111y too Random people don't get 800+ comments on their social media posts. It takes a LOT of work (and some luck) to cultivate that much visibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 5 minutes ago, Els said: Random people don't get 800+ comments on their social media posts. It takes a LOT of work (and some luck) to cultivate that much visibility. Oh, I didn't know that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 4 minutes ago, brokenbird said: Oh, I didn't know that. You should probably also know that social media tends to be a giant echo chamber. The more you interact with certain types of posts, the more of that type of post you will be shown via the algorithm. It isn't even restricted to what you do on that particular social media - search history, cookies, etc can all be used. That's why it can unfortunately be a powerful tool for radicalization. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 Do you know what confirmation bias is, OP? If you really wanted, you could find similar videos where people support a partner's choice to watch porn. I could probably even find videos where people are fully in favour of dressing up like leprechauns during sex. My point is that when you are seeking out a certain opinion (even indirectly, slanted in whichever direction), you will find it. That doesn't mean that a particular group speaks for the general whole, or is "right" or "wrong." All it means is that they found like-minded people who agree with whatever postion they're taking. 1 hour ago, Els said: It's like going to an Andrew Tate page and extrapolating the way his fans feel about women to how "all men" feel about women. Completely pointless exercise. This, in a nutshell. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 5 hours ago, brokenbird said: I see what you mean, although it is not an influencer, as I see it , it is a random girl posting about depressing stuff and hundreds of girls agreeing and sharing that their boyfriends are/were this sh111y too Google "Lauren Alexis." I did. She has 2 million followers. She also posts really sexy pictures of herself that some other girls' boyfriends no doubt love to look at. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 7 hours ago, brokenbird said: Yeah I know. I also follow like 300 people so I can control most of the videos I see, because I like wholesome pet videos, videos of babies, nature, or funny stuff. Sometimes videos like this pop up and most of the time I scroll fast enough that I dont get something like this for 2 more months, but I was curious because it resonated with me, because I posted one time about my boyfriend watching a sexy music video on youtube. I got curious what people told this creator, and there are over 800 people telling her to get a new man just because of this. I don't use tiktok, but I assume a creator can remove any responses which they don't agree with. I'm simply not buying that she didn't get any responses telling her to get a grip. This is hardly solid research 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenbird Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 19 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Google "Lauren Alexis." I did. She has 2 million followers. She also posts really sexy pictures of herself that some other girls' boyfriends no doubt love to look at. Yeah now I see that too, but the creator of the tiktok is a random girl, not that Lauren girl. Correct, many girls replied with "its always Lauren Alexis with boyfriends , isnt it" 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: I don't use tiktok, but I assume a creator can remove any responses which they don't agree with. I'm simply not buying that she didn't get any responses telling her to get a grip. This is hardly solid research Or mainly broken people find these videos. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 Just now, brokenbird said: Or mainly broken people find these videos. Indeed. The forementioned 'confirmation bias'. You know how your feed is all nice things and you scroll past content which you're not interested in? It works both ways. I have no skin in this game, so I wouldn't have even watch this clip to the end 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 24 minutes ago, brokenbird said: Or mainly broken people find these videos. Or ... broken birds. I'm not having any fun talking about this mundane subject further. I will tell you that there are tons of insecure, miserable people, many of them young women, who are comparing themselves to other people and feeling very badly about how they *think* they measure up. These people need to learn how to love themselves and to understand that other people can love them too. The other people may be capable of finding "hot" girls attractive and it has absolutely zero to do with how they feel about the woman they love. If the person with the insecurities does not get to the other side of this they will be so very unhappy. You're young. I imagine that you're attractive yourself. Think about how you will feel when you have some age on you. The threat of every younger prettier woman on the street, in a workplace, on the internet, in the movies will drive you utterly insane. You are stubbornly insisting under all your posts and usernames that you and your bf are almost perfect together but you are so very much not. There is not room in a healthy relationship for this kind of thing. Please think about taking responsibility and ownership of YOUR problem and how it is YOUR job to do something about it, rather than trying to control the boyfriend. As long as you can defend your position on this the way you do, you are not close to getting to a better place. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 11 hours ago, brokenbird said: Are they all wrong for thinking that men are bad because of this? Are so many people confused? Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 10 hours ago, brokenbird said: Exact opposite. Im trying to make myself believe that if you are in a relationship that feels good for you, then you should not worry about stuff like this. Then why do you keep worrying about this stuff? Link to post Share on other sites
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