she says she wants freedom

[denseguy]

My ex and I were trying to work on our relationship again. 

She still wants me but not enough to be committed again. She added she enjoyed the freedom she experienced,

maybe because I kinda suffocated her when we were in a relationship? 

(she also playedfully flirted and chatted with several males after we broke up till now, nothing intimate happened tho)

 

We recently talked, and it looks like she pulled back because of my overthinking and did something out of my jealousy

 

 

Did she really pulled back because of that or she really does wants freedom from me?

Any further advice that can help?

Edited April 21, 2024 by denseguy
clarity

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't see how you're both working on your relationship again. 

I get that you want it to work again. It doesn't appear she wants to be in a relationship with you again if she is also enjoying her freedom and life as a single woman. She told you herself she doesn't want to commit to you. 

You need to believe her, and let her go. 

[d0nnivain]

I don't know.  I get the sense that you may have been smothering.  She probably liked the guy you were when you weren't a green eyed monster but since there were times when you were overwhelming & controlling she prefers not to deal with that a 2nd time. 

 

Edited April 21, 2024 by d0nnivain

[smackie9]

She friend zoned you now....so if you don't want to be just friends, then simply move on and date other women.

[BaileyB]

This is not a woman who wants to commit to a serious relationship with you OP. However you decide to proceed, do so with that understanding…

[basil67]

13 hours ago, denseguy said:

maybe because I kinda suffocated her when we were in a relationship? 

We recently talked, and it looks like she pulled back because of my overthinking and did something out of my jealousy

Can you tell us about how and why you suffocated her in the relationship?  And what made you jealous recently and what was this thing you did?

[bpb2017]

On 4/21/2024 at 1:21 PM, d0nnivain said:

I don't know.  I get the sense that you may have been smothering.  She probably liked the guy you were when you weren't a green eyed monster but since there were times when you were overwhelming & controlling she prefers not to deal with that a 2nd time. 

 

Wow you immediately assume the guy was a "green eyed monster" and "controlling"? There are a few more trigger words that I think you were holding back on, so congrats on your restraint :).

On 4/21/2024 at 10:07 AM, denseguy said:

My ex and I were trying to work on our relationship again. 

She still wants me but not enough to be committed again. She added she enjoyed the freedom she experienced,

Imagine when you were single and there was that 'undesirable' girl that was into you. She's better than nothing, but of course you keep your eye out for better options at all times. Sorry to say but you're the 'undesirable' guy to her.

[d0nnivain]

50 minutes ago, bpb2017 said:

Wow you immediately assume the guy was a "green eyed monster" and "controlling"? There are a few more trigger words that I think you were holding back on, so congrats on your restraint :)..

I'm blunt.  If somebody is "triggered" because I speak the truth, they need to grow a thicker skin. I'm not going to apologize.  I was not hateful or mean.  

I said those things because the OP mentioned that she flirted with other guys & that he smothered her.   What's your take away from that?  You took the time to criticize my response but in your response called him "undesirable".  I suggested he dial it back 

Edited April 29, 2024 by d0nnivain