Tiddytok5 Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 Still heartbroken over neighbor guy that I've previously posted about. It's gone on two months since we've last communicated. Today my heartbreak reached a new level when while I was waiting on my mother to return from a doctor's appointment, I saw him leave for work. Then shortly after he left, (a woman who I suspect lives with him) ...came out of the house as if to look for him...by then he wasn't in the area anymore and she went back inside.. Shortly after, he came back home ..(.perhaps he had forgotten something) and then left again. I suspect that she had called him and told him... At first, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he wasn't lying about anything and really had been single...that since he shares a house with other guys ..that maybe she is one of their girlfriend's....but I have seen her in the window of his room a few times... When he's not there, I see the light come on and off and movement in his place. Sometimes when he returns home, I see him and her interacting..I know that it's her..she wears pink quite frequently. I keep trying to convince myself of an alternative reality where he meant everything he said, that he's just as heartbroken as I am (he is unaffected and walks around smiling and genuinely a happy aura surrounds him) that he will change, apologize, and come back to me. I am soo heartbroken and distraught. I thought I was slowly getting over him, but I realize that I was only fooling myself. It hurts to be treated with such disregard...and to have people pretend that they love and care for me, then to just ghost me and discard me like garbage. I love him. I thought he loved and cared for me. I am still very confused. Was it all pretend...even though we had over 8,000 conversations and discussions about alot of things...via text..since the beginning? Up until he blocked me, whenever I called, he would always answer or get back to me when he could. He still watches my house going to work... Was it all for nothing?? I just don't understand. Everyday I struggle to respect his wishes and not confront him.. It's hard to let go...especially when he lives in such close proximity. I want to move on, but I don't know if I am capable or will ever. Maybe I'll be one of those people who never move on. Despite what many might think...there are things each one of us will never move on from. I feel like I deserve the hurt and pain. Maybe it's my fault that I been used, and discarded like trash.. he isn't the first to do such a thing to me. I cry. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 You must be watching him very closely to notice all these things about his comings and goings. That has to stop, first and foremost. I am sorry you're hurting so much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 38 minutes ago, Tiddytok5 said: I love him. I thought he loved and cared for me. I am still very confused. I don't understand why you are in love with him. You only had sex with him one time and then he ghosted you. You say you don't even like sex so what is the draw? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 25 Share Posted April 25 You need to stop monitoring his activity so closely, to be noticing when he leaves the house and comes home and all that. It's highly inappropriate and is holding you back from moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 (edited) Looking back at your history... The sex with him was bad - you felt bad and used and cried in front of him. He's got penis size insecurities. You got fed up and dumped him. The whole thing was a disaster. I believe that you're not being honest with yourself about something or other...but I can't begin to figure out what it is because your posts contradict each other. May I suggest you take your thread starters about this guy to a therapist (all of them, especially those where you contradict yourself) and try to get to the bottom of things. Kindly, do you struggle with mental health issues? Edited April 27 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 (edited) In your topic 'Celibacy', you wrote "In relationships and in friendships I feel pressured and obligated [to have sex]" I do understand that you don't like sex, but you try to like it within relationships. But why do you feel pressured to have sex within friendships? I can't help but wonder if you were sexually abused when you were younger.....it could explain that you both hate sex and feeling obliged to have sex. And to be fair to this guy, if you freaked out and felt used after sex like you described, it makes sense that he'd end things. The experience would have been horrible for both of you. So yeah, perhaps telling you about his size concerns was just a version of "it's not you, it's me" to end it all without putting the blame on your reaction after sex. Kindly, the fact that he'd been putting in the effort to date you doesn't mean that he should have to stick around when it suddenly becomes clear that not only do you not enjoy physical intimacy, but it leaves you distressed. I genuinely hope you can seek some professional support to help you work your way through this. Edited April 27 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 Sorry what are you confronting him about? This was 4+ months ago.. who he’s seeing or dating is none of your business. I mean this kindly. I think Basil hit the nail on the head/ comprehensive analysis on all your threads. I can’t make head or tail what is going on here. Do you have anyone to talk to? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 On 4/23/2024 at 3:01 AM, Tiddytok5 said: Up until he blocked me, whenever I called, he would always answer or get back to me when he could. Did he block you before or after you broke up with him? Link to post Share on other sites
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