Afraid I might have cheated, but not entirely sure?

[dapperdell]

I have some pretty nasty anxiety/related mental-health disorders, which I think is playing a role in all of this. 

That said, the other day my male friends and I were shooting the s*** while waiting in line for something. We all started making dirty jokes (we were waiting in line for ice cream), and I wanted to contribute. This thought entered my mind ("I think this will be funny, so I should say it") first, but then I thought ("it could sound flirty/sexual"). Then I thought "well, that's how I want to sound", so I made the joke. 

I am bisexual, but I'm not sexually attracted to my friends. I am also happy in my relationship. I'm not sure why I'm feeling so guilty about this. I think it maybe could be the whole "I want to appear as sexual to these guys in this moment", even though it was just for a joke. Thoughts?

[basil67]

I'm not sure why you're feeling guilty either.   Do you have any strategies for letting go of negative thought patterns?

[glows]

I don’t get it. Why did you want to appear sexual to your guy friends when you have a gf and you’re not attracted to those guys? Do they know you’re bi? Did they get the joke? How did they react? 

No guy/guy experiences yet?

[dapperdell]

9 minutes ago, glows said:

I don’t get it. Why did you want to appear sexual to your guy friends when you have a gf and you’re not attracted to those guys? Do they know you’re bi? Did they get the joke? How did they react? 

No guy/guy experiences yet?

Completely fair question. We were just all making dirty jokes, so I wanted to contribute. That was really the extent of it. 

[d0nnivain]

I think you are way overthinking things & your anxiety issues are getting the better of you.  It was a joke.  Everybody understood it as such.  The moment passed & nobody except you had given it a second thought.  

Cut yourself a break & forget it.  

[smackie9]

Dudes being dudes. I have seen straight guys pretend to act gay/ sexual just to be funny out in public  It’s ok to contribute if the environment is just about that and nothing more.