S2B Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 If she decides to meet friends - once every six months - find out who the friends are - and agree on a reasonable time she be home. 10pm should be plenty of time to catch up with friends. Most restaurants close before 10. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mike1990 Posted June 2 Author Share Posted June 2 Just an update on my situation. I found proof the other day my wife was texting an old college friend. They were sending nudes pictures and videos back in forth. The text messages literally looked like they were together and she even sent him a gift with our money on Christmas. I called my wife out around Christmas and asked if she was talking to someone else and she stated no and proceeded to make me feel like I was the issue and that had I just had trust issues. I literally started talking to a counselor over all this just to find out my gut feeling wasn’t wrong. I asked for divorce and now she is guilting me by saying i don’t want to work on anything and just throw marriage away. She is also trying to get me to delete all the proof of her cheating and keeps bringing up how a divorce will effect her custody/visitation with our step son, since will have to figure out a new schedule. I literally take our step son to meet his day and I guess she’s worried how she will do that now if I go away. she also blaming the cheating on me saying I made her feel like I didn’t love her and she needed to attention from this guy. I’ve literally changed my entire life to make my wife happy. I’ve moved away from family, got a better job, gave up hobbies and I feel like she’s never happy no matter what I’ve done. I’ve heard from people/family and they say she has been like that her whole life. Always everyone else’s fault and nothing anyone does is good enough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 (edited) 1 hour ago, Mike1990 said: I asked for divorce and now she is guilting me by saying i don’t want to work on anything and just throw marriage away. I would ask her - how does one “work on” a marriage with a partner who lies and disrespects their spouse, particularly when the wayward spouse does not accept responsibility for her actions and shifts the blame? You have not “thrown away” anything - you have respected and protected the marriage. She has not done the same. Divorce is the natural consequence for infidelity. 1 hour ago, Mike1990 said: she also blaming the cheating on me saying I made her feel like I didn’t love her and she needed to attention from this guy. If this is how she felt, that is about her - it has nothing to do with you. She had the choice to speak with you, to ask for what she needed, to request that you see a counsellor together, to seek an individual counsellor to help her deal with her feelings and develop her communication and coping skills - instead, she chose to go outside the marriage. As is often said, one either contributes to a relationship or they contaminate it. She could have chosen to contribute - to grow herself and improve the relationship. Instead, she chose to contaminate it. Again, that’s her decision, not yours. I’m very sorry that this has happened to you. I wish you all the best. Edited June 2 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 She has disrespected your you and your marriage. If the roles were reversed, how would she have reacted? If you do not respect yourself then who will? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 4 hours ago, Mike1990 said: she also blaming the cheating on me saying I made her feel like I didn’t love her and she needed to attention from this guy. I’ve literally changed my entire life to make my wife happy. I’ve moved away from family, got a better job, gave up hobbies and I feel like she’s never happy no matter what I’ve done. I’ve heard from people/family and they say she has been like that her whole life. Always everyone else’s fault and nothing anyone does is good enough I’m sorry this has happened to you. The bright side here is that you are free from her now. You’ll find a good woman who will love, respect, and appreciate you. It’s not your fault that she cheated, it’s her fault and your bad luck. You’ve done the right thing. Don’t give up now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 2 Share Posted June 2 There is nothing to work on when she lies and disrespects you. she has turned it around on you - trying to make HER actions your fault! That’s not right! and the fact that she has that approach means the marriage is NOT anything that can be repaired! when a person won’t OWN the way THEY participated - by being responsible for THEIR behavior/actions - you have nothing to work with! so you have NO way to fix what she has ruined! file for divorce. They sons schedule is no longer your problem. The only answer to give her is “you will figure that out.” do NOT delete your evidence! Get the divorce filed. Link to post Share on other sites
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