Falling out of love?

[ratre]

 I'm in an almost two year relationship (1 year and 10 months) with my girlfriend and I feel like I'm falling out of love with her. She's kind and caring, we have similar interests and is overall amazing. 

 

There were some periods of a few days or a week before when I've felt drained or disengaged but it never lasted long and it wasn't as intense as it is now.

I don't crave time together like I used to and sometimes it feels like a chore talking and going out.

 

She's really sweet and I feel bad for thinking about this at all. We have the same friend group and some events planned together in the next months. I'm not sure i should continue if I don't have feelings for her anymore and I'm afraid I'll ruin everything if I try to approach her. I also feel like I would regret it if I lose her just because i don't feel like it.

 

For now I talked with some friends and decided to wait it out a bit and really think about what I should do. How do you think I should deal with this?

[mark clemson]

Waiting may be wise. Ultimately you'll have to decide what you want.

Relationships tend to shift from an initial "new love" phase into a less emotionally intense "familial" stage. This is normal and it's not (IMO) realistic to expect to feel the way you do for the first 1-2 years for the entirety of a relationship. IF you were to leave her, your next "love" would almost certainly follow a similar pattern, with the intense "new love" feelings subsiding after 1-3 years, becoming more "familial".

So perhaps the real question to ask yourself is - is this the woman you see yourself spending the rest of your life with (hopefully, all things going well) or would it be better to look for someone else for the long haul. Do you have similar goals WRT to starting/not starting a family would be one important question.

I would warn (and this applies to ANYONE) that people slowly (and sometimes rapidly) change over time - as will you. So even a person-her or someone else-who's "perfect" for you at one age, may not be at all perfect in 10 years. People find this out all the time. It doesn't by any means mean you should not try for a LTR, but it's something to be aware of going in, and you'll hopefully be able to handle life's changes with compassion for your partner over the years (and she for you).