mark clemson Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 On 5/6/2024 at 12:44 PM, clo said: Brown colour that resembles tan/makeup by the stomach area and tan/makeup marks around the shoulder and chest area. He was on a work night out with about 10 people or more. Couldn't it just be dirt/dust of some kind, like he lifted something heavy that was dusty? There's lots of ways to smudge your clothing that don't involve romantic contact. 3 hours ago, clo said: Just because I said I was done with him in the moment of being annoyed doesn't mean that I meant it or want it to actually happen so no I don't want the relationship to end. You need to be a bit more careful. Sounds like your outbursts could drive him away whatever you might "actually" want. They certainly wouldn't be engendering faith in the relationship on his part. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 (edited) 5 hours ago, clo said: Just because I said I was done with him in the moment of being annoyed doesn't mean that I meant it or want it to actually happen And it also doesn't mean that saying something like that isn't highly damaging to a relationship and will make someone question whether they want to be with you. I am not saying he is perfect. But you have to understand that words have consequences. You can't expect others to know you didn't mean it or to tolerate it even if ythey know ou didn't. 8 hours ago, clo said: We had a conversation about our sex life on Thursday which led to me not talking to him for the rest of the evening What happened here? How did a conversation about sex lead you to not speaking? Edited May 8 by ExpatInItaly 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 6 hours ago, clo said: Why would I not be able to support myself. It's my house he's living in. Yep I'm prepared for a breakup thank you for checking. I mean nothing suggests he's found someone else but no problem, noted. Because people who live together usually pay half the rent each. I had no way of knowing he lived your house, but glad to see you don't need his financial support if he leaves you. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Not speaking is very toxic to a relationship, as is telling a partner that it's over when you don't mean it. But what the heck did he say about your sex life that got you so angry? It must have been highly questionable 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Not speaking is very toxic to a relationship, as is telling a partner that it's over when you don't mean it. But what the heck did he say about your sex life that got you so angry? It must have been highly questionable It probably had something to do with what kind of porn he likes to watch - OP has a thread about this that was posted just a few days ago. And he told her it was none of her business. I think that this is a situation that may be coming to the end point. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 9 hours ago, clo said: Just because I said I was done with him in the moment of being annoyed doesn't mean that I meant it or want it to actually happen so no I don't want the relationship to end. Lesson that should be learned here is: Don't say things you don't mean. There will be consequences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 11 hours ago, clo said: Just because I said I was done with him in the moment of being annoyed doesn't mean that I meant it or want it to actually happen so no I don't want the relationship to end. Really? In my experience, people like to be taken at their word. "Just because" somebody said something is generally a very good reason to believe it's the truth. Do you just like to say things to try to stir him up for a fight? Why? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 On 5/8/2024 at 9:58 PM, clo said: Just because I said I was done with him in the moment of being annoyed doesn't mean that I meant it or want it to actually happen so no I don't want the relationship to end. Then why did you say you were done with him? You have no responsibility for your words? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 21 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: Really? In my experience, people like to be taken at their word. "Just because" somebody said something is generally a very good reason to believe it's the truth. Do you just like to say things to try to stir him up for a fight? Why? Indeed. If someone says something to me about their feelings, I will believe them. The only reason I wouldn't believe them is if I knew them to be a liar Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 (edited) On 5/8/2024 at 4:58 PM, clo said: Just because I said I was done with him in the moment of being annoyed doesn't mean that I meant it or want it to actually happen so no I don't want the relationship to end. Sometimes people really do mean what they say, but they may not be ready to admit it to themselves. So you get a sense of what they really want by paying attention to their actions. At this moment, you're both doubling down on relationship-ending actions. It's not too much of a stretch for me to jump from that and some of your words to thinking that maybe he keeps doing stuff that threatens the relationship and you're tired of always having to forgive him/understand him. Do correct me if I'm wrong. But if I'm even halfway right, then it may be a good idea for you to listen to the part of you that is done. Edited May 10 by Acacia98 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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