My fiancee needs space

[smokiejjj]

We are getting married in Nov, 2006.

 

Currently we do not live together but I'm at her place almost every evening. She is in medical school so is very very busy with school during the day and homework. I work during the day so my evenings are free.

 

She says that she need some alone time and that I'm always at her place and it is hard for her. She says she has not committed to us living together because we are not married yet. She says that she has not made the committment to herself yet but will do that once married.

 

I'm not sure what to do here .. I don't really understand the issues but I think what I will do is spend a couple of nights a week at my apt to give her space which should help things.

 

I think me being around is a problem because she has to study and take care of personal things but with me being there she feels that she has to talk to me which*takes away for her getting things done. It's also bad b/c she just has a small 1 bedroom apt so it is pretty cramped. We we get married we will get a 2 bedroom which will be better because then there will be separate rooms. I plan on setting up a den with computer and tv for me.

[slubberdegullion]

Medical school is one helluva grind. Give her the space she needs, but also realize that this is a relationship between both of you, so you both need to work on it.

[Greg25]

I would recommend you give your fiance her space; medical school is extremely demanding, perhaps more so than any other profession. She sounds extremely stressed and she needs some time to herself, and you should give it to her so she can cope with the demands she has to face with her medical work and in her relationship. If you put pressure on her she may feel overwhelmed and might want to end the relationship.

 

Give things time and be patient. When your fiance finishes medical school, she and you should earn enough to buy a bigger place, and also have more time to spare for each other.

[Kenyth]

Yeah, I think this is exactly what it seems at face value. She needs more time to study, sleep, do housework, etc. Probably just a little burned out is all.

[gfto]

you're at her place almost EVERY evening?! Why are you waiting until November to tie the knot? Might as well do it next month! Seriously though, I can't blame her for wanting a little space. There will be plenty of time to be with her every evening once you're married. I'd be a little concerned that she could be in the very early stages of losing some interest in you. In order to turn that around, you need to really give her some space, especially with her being in med school. Try seeing her only two or three nights per week.