DariusBlack Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 Hello Name is Darius, 42, Nigerian American from Los Angeles. I've been married to my wife, who's same age and same ethnicity, since we where 18 years old. We do not have children since we both concentrated on our careers. Over the 24 years of our marriage, we probably had sex 12 times in total. My wife is not a very sexual person, she is very attractive, but doesn't seek sexual contact in any shape or form, and oddly enough, that's the reason why our marriage lasted this long. We both blamed it on my impotence in bed and took it for what it was, we built our relationship on mutual love and understanding instead. Before I say what I'm about to say, once again I want to emphasize my wife's attractiveness which would be appreciated by most men of any background. That being said, I simply can't get hard with my wife. Or any other black women. While on the other hand, a hot white girl just walking by gets me hard as a rock every single time. I really can't explain it and I analysed it over and over for past 24 years. I am the way I am and there is no helping it. I have an attractive black woman and I'm soft as a flat tire. Give me a poster of Coco T Austin and I'll ejaculate three times in a row and still be hard. I'm not addicted to porn and I rarely even watch it. It appears I'm addicted to hot white women and there is no way around it. And after 24 years of being faithful, I finally gave up. I asked out my new colleague, a beautiful 21 year old white Canadian girl with Scandinavian background. How dating has changed since I was around last time, I can't describe you. I can't imagine that in year 2000, a white girl like her would approach a black man like me, and just casually drop a "hint" that she prefers, and I quote: "older muscular black man" (description that I fit nicely). And I've been masturbating like crazy thinking about her since the day she was employed, like deranged teenager who just found out about jerking off. Anyway, we still haven't had sex but it's obvious that's the goal for both of us as soon as possible. Only problem being, I think she has completely wrong opinion about my sexual past and achievements. She views me as a black stud who had sex with countless white women and unfortunately for me that can't be further from the truth. Her opinion of me goes as far as this little gem from this Friday. We have plans to spend next weekend together, I drove 2 hours just to pay a beach house in cash. Method of contraception turned out as a topic on her insistence. She said that pill is out of the question since she doesn't want to poison herself and she would very much prefer me not wearing condom since, she assumes, get this "we both want to really feel each other the way we are". Funny thing is, I stood in front of her like an idiot, thinking about what other crazy contraception method they have invented since I wasn't around the playing field. Pulling out didn't cross my mind. She asked me, to my face, if we can count on me pulling out at the right time. And I said, damn right we can. And I know that damn right we can not! It will be a f***ing miracle if I don't ejaculate prematurely balls deep in her. I do not know how to insert little laughing yellow face here. So there you go, after 24 years of marriage with my black wife, It will take one weekend to impregnate a white girl a know for 2 months. PS I googled "sex advice" and that's the way I end up on here. Don't really know what advice I'm seeking. Darius Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 Welcome to LoveShack! All you have to do is divorce your beautiful wife so she can be free for a man who wants to have sex with her and a relationship. Then you can date this girl and many other white women if you want. Why did you marry a black woman if you are only attracted to white women? You might have a fling with this young woman but given the age difference I don't know how long this will last. You can find slightly older white women or those closer to your age to enter a relationship and be happy. Perhaps the young woman you are going to have sex with can ask her doctor to fit her with a diaphragm to prevent pregnancy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DariusBlack Posted May 11 Author Share Posted May 11 (edited) Hey thank you for reply. Really didn't expect anybody to bother! 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why did you marry a black woman if you are only attracted to white women? Our parents set it up, as Nigerian immigrants. She was thrilled. I was not thrilled as much as you can tell. 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: You might have a fling with this young woman but given the age difference I don't know how long this will last. If it lasts for just one weekend I can die peacefully. This girl is built like a hourglass brickhouse. 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: Perhaps the young woman you are going to have sex with can ask her doctor to fit her with a diaphragm to prevent pregnancy. It's completely on her! Edited May 11 by DariusBlack Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 (edited) People from all kinds of groups have a variation of this issue--they have trouble getting turned on by other religious people, other working-class people, people who remind them of their mothers or their sisters and so on. One of my favorite history books has a section on how some working-class guys throughout history just get totally turned on by upper-class women. Your inability to get aroused by black women (despite being a black man) fits into this category of problems. It's not as strange or unusual as you think it is. Usually what's going on is some kind of claustrophobic or suffocating pressure from family or the larger culture that the person in your position wants to escape. Deep inside you've likely absorbed conflicting, messy feelings and thoughts about black folks, Nigerian folks, black women, Nigerian women, Nigerian men, family values and the like--and those expectations (and pressures) have killed your arousal with black women. Those suffocating expectations are not activated when you see white women. You see a white woman and there are no expectations to be good, to carry on the culture, to be dignified or be strong or treat woman this way or that. All that cultural stuff in your head is silent with a white woman, freeing you up to lust without guilt. A good therapist could disentangle this problem in short order. Won't be long or difficult. A sex therapist would be great. They specialize in figuring out what’s going on in people’s heads around sex. But doesn't have to be a sex therapist. Doesn't even have to be a black therapist. Anxiety or pressure or guilt is a huge killer of sex drive. Could be some expectation floating around in you that says you shouldn't treat black women as sexual objects. Or you grew up hearing people shame black women who were comfortable with their sexuality. Now is time for the adult in you to step in to untangle things. Drop the guilt about all this and dig in. There is nothing wrong with having a strong physical preference for an "outgroup" person. What's not healthy is the inability to even get hard with a black woman, even your wife. That’s the sign that this is more than an aesthetic preference at work and NOT a health issue. Something deeper is going. Edited May 11 by Lotsgoingon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted May 12 Share Posted May 12 OP, there is nothing absolutely nothing wrong with a black man getting turned on by white women. Or the other way around. Or any other way, really. What’s wrong is that you are about to consummate an affair, an act of cheating. Please don’t do that. If your marriage really can’t be saved anymore, divorce your wife, then pursue another relationship with a woman of any race. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 (edited) On 5/12/2024 at 1:43 AM, DariusBlack said: Pulling out didn't cross my mind. She asked me, to my face, if we can count on me pulling out at the right time. And I said, damn right we can. And I know that damn right we can not! Ah, so you're about to have a non consensual sex act with a young women who is too naive to think a man would lie to her about this. You do know that doing a sexual act without consent is an act of sexual assault right? I'd like to be a fly on the wall when she tells her parents that she got impregnated by an old married guy who chose to breach her sexual boundaries. And what about when the parents involve the police? Hmmm....does she even know that you're married? The premise of this thread is so foolish that it can only be yet another 'old creeper' troll. There's a new one each day at present Edited May 14 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 3 hours ago, basil67 said: Ah, so you're about to have a non consensual sex act with a young women who is too naive to think a man would lie to her about this. You do know that doing a sexual act without consent is an act of sexual assault right? Reading this, I realized that I’d missed the whole “I won’t be able to pull out, I’ll surely impregnate her” thing. OP, what you’re planning is terrible. Please don’t do it. The consequences will be dire. Note to self, read more carefully😔 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 1 hour ago, Gebidozo said: Reading this, I realized that I’d missed the whole “I won’t be able to pull out, I’ll surely impregnate her” thing. OP, what you’re planning is terrible. Please don’t do it. The consequences will be dire. Note to self, read more carefully😔 I suspect that you zoned out at all the OP's descriptions of masturbating I was lucky to make it through to the end Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 Don't married Nigerian men have mistresses? Or is that not a thing? Link to post Share on other sites
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