Somnus96 Posted May 13 Share Posted May 13 (edited) Hey guys, I got some mixed feelings and confused what to do. Some back story I'm considered an introverted calm and a little closed up guy. I'm male, 30 living in Italy. and have zero dating experience or ever had a relationship. This is the most unusual situation I'm in. Does this happen in real life? I feel like this only happens in fiction, haha. Basically long story short an online friend that I know that knows someone who knows someone set me up with a meetup with a girl that's a blind date because we didn't know each other or how we looked. The girl said to my friend she wanted to help me dating "practice". We spend a whole 8 hours together on our first meeting from morning til evening. I was pleasantly surprised when we met. It was a really fun date, I really enjoyed myself and her company. However, this being my first date I have completely mixed feelings. We also went to my place to watch a movie she sat really close to me not sure if we are still "practicing". I didn't do anything though, because I was too nervous or a coward I guess. Altho I don't know if she expected anything. She asked me a lot personal stuff too like family situation, hobbies etc but then again this is also probably for practicing how a real date must be. She stayed until the evening and we said our goodbyes. She said we should meet up again. I said yes, but I just thought she's just being nice. After several days collecting my thoughts I send her a text if she wanted to meet up a second time and she said yes. I'm confused myself though, if it's still for practicing? I think I might like her since we got also things in common, but no clue what to do. I don't even know if she's interested in me. Is if fair to her? Would I come off desperate if I told her? Idk what her intentions are, or if she thinks I'm just using her for experience? This is a most unusual development isn't it? Is this weird? How weird is it girl that helps you "practicing" dating only to end up liking the girl? Weird right? Edited May 13 by Somnus96 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted May 13 Share Posted May 13 No, not weird at all, especially if you've no experience with dating. Dates, even just 'practice dates', don't go for 8 hours unless the other person's enjoying your company as much as you're enjoying theirs. Plus, most women wouldn't offer to give dating practice to someone they've never even met unless they're a dating coach and charging money for it. Look for body language signals, things like eye contact, hair flicking, leaning in towards you, subtle indicators that the other person is attracted to you. Maybe at the end of this next date ask her if she'd be interested in helping you with your kissing practice . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Somnus96 Posted May 13 Author Share Posted May 13 9 minutes ago, MsJayne said: No, not weird at all, especially if you've no experience with dating. Dates, even just 'practice dates', don't go for 8 hours unless the other person's enjoying your company as much as you're enjoying theirs. Plus, most women wouldn't offer to give dating practice to someone they've never even met unless they're a dating coach and charging money for it. Look for body language signals, things like eye contact, hair flicking, leaning in towards you, subtle indicators that the other person is attracted to you. Maybe at the end of this next date ask her if she'd be interested in helping you with your kissing practice . Is a date for 8 hours really unusual for a first date? I highly doubt shes dating couch nor did she charge anything. I had no idea what hair flicks are until you told me. I've seen her do that a few times at my home. She might have been leaning towards me but idk. I did tell her k had zero dating experience, but I'm still not certain if she likes me too. Am I a moron to think she might spell it out because I'm missing the signs? But as a guy with zero knowledge I had no idea. I thought she's just fixing her hair. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted May 13 Share Posted May 13 15 minutes ago, Somnus96 said: Is a date for 8 hours really unusual for a first date? I highly doubt shes dating couch nor did she charge anything. I had no idea what hair flicks are until you told me. I've seen her do that a few times at my home. She might have been leaning towards me but idk. I did tell her k had zero dating experience, but I'm still not certain if she likes me too. Am I a moron to think she might spell it out because I'm missing the signs? But as a guy with zero knowledge I had no idea. I thought she's just fixing her hair. 8 hours is a long time to spend in someone's company, and if she was bored with you she would have made her excuses and left after a couple of hours. 1 hour ago, Somnus96 said: She said we should meet up again. I said yes, but I just thought she's just being nice. So pick up that ball and just run with it. Make another date with her soon, and then look for those signals. Have a read of the article below, it's got way too many ads on it but the information in it is a good beginners guide. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/ Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 13 Share Posted May 13 Sorry, there's just something about this situation that feels off to me. The online friend who set up a "friend of a friend" with you... have you ever met them in person? Does the "personal information" that your date is asking for include information about your finances, or information that could be used to access accounts if a password is forgotten? I'm just concerned because you seem like an easy target, and also... who offers to do "dating practice" for a person whose photo they've never seen and whom they have never spoken to? There's just so many alarm bells going off here to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Somnus96 Posted May 13 Author Share Posted May 13 (edited) 31 minutes ago, Els said: Sorry, there's just something about this situation that feels off to me. The online friend who set up a "friend of a friend" with you... have you ever met them in person? Does the "personal information" that your date is asking for include information about your finances, or information that could be used to access accounts if a password is forgotten? I'm just concerned because you seem like an easy target, and also... who offers to do "dating practice" for a person whose photo they've never seen and whom they have never spoken to? There's just so many alarm bells going off here to me. I never enclosed where I work or what my financial information is. We met at a public place. My online friend doesn't know where I live as sd never met up. As for forgetting passwords, that's a good question. The personal things we spoke about were mostly related to our family like siblings and such. All my financial logins have 2 way authentication, it's unlikely that she got the chance to do that. I also checked my browser logs to see if she was snooping around when I was leaving the room but that didn't seem the case. i might seem that way yes, but I’m a skeptical and careful person especially with personal information. I wouldn’t enclose any information on a first or second date that could be used for social engineering. Yes I find this also an odd case. Edited May 13 by Somnus96 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 (edited) 11 hours ago, Somnus96 said: My online friend doesn't know where I live as sd never met up. So, this online friend has never met you in person, but sent a "friend of a friend" of theirs to meet you in person for "dating practice"...? Wow, yeah, the whole thing is just super weird IMO. I mean, I guess it's possible that it's genuine and this girl was just really bored (and unconcerned for her safety at that)... but I'd be very wary. It's good that you're aware of social engineering practices and careful of your account info/logins. Just keep all of that in mind if you decide to meet her again. Edited May 14 by Els 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Somnus96 Posted May 14 Author Share Posted May 14 4 hours ago, Els said: So, this online friend has never met you in person, but sent a "friend of a friend" of theirs to meet you in person for "dating practice"...? Wow, yeah, the whole thing is just super weird IMO. I mean, I guess it's possible that it's genuine and this girl was just really bored (and unconcerned for her safety at that)... but I'd be very wary. It's good that you're aware of social engineering practices and careful of your account info/logins. Just keep all of that in mind if you decide to meet her again. I don’t know what is normal. I did consider the possibility she might just be bored or something. I don’t know. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 4 hours ago, Els said: So, this online friend has never met you in person, but sent a "friend of a friend" of theirs to meet you in person for "dating practice"...? Wow, yeah, the whole thing is just super weird IMO. I mean, I guess it's possible that it's genuine and this girl was just really bored (and unconcerned for her safety at that)... but I'd be very wary. It's good that you're aware of social engineering practices and careful of your account info/logins. Just keep all of that in mind if you decide to meet her again. I agree with Els. The description of the date sounds like she liked you, so positive stuff there. But the background to the whole story just sounds so weird I would be very careful, to answer your question no this doesn't sound normal. There's a predatory technique in the sex industry called the "lover-boy method" where a pimp poses as a normal guy online and targets vulnerable women who they research as not having father figure and being open to exploitation. They then create a relationship and after the woman has fallen in love with them they convince them to do sex work through emotional manipulation. I don't want to put you off as I hope it's innocent and the girl is just into you. However it may be the case that this is something similar and your online "friend" is actually the girl's pimp. It's worth bearing in mind if any funny stuff related to money or personal items starts happening. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 (edited) Meeting someone through a mutual friend definitely happens in real life, so don't discount the possibility of making a connection through this setup. A former co-worker reached out to me once to tell me that a man that had seen my comments and profile on her social media feed wanted to be introduced to me through her but wanted to check with me first to make sure it was okay for him to pass along his information. Albeit, you met her through an online friend so of course you need to be a bit more cautious. I am not sure what her intentions are, but based on her willingness to continue meeting up with you and her open and personal questions towards you, I think there's a good chance that she is interested in you. As for her comment about helping you "practice" dating, it's possible that it was just her way of breaking the ice and making the situation less awkward. She could have just been trying to make light of the situation. She said yes to meet up for a second time, so go out with her again and get to know each other some more. I'm not convinced at this point that she is trying to recruit you for some underground sex ring but one never knows. Edited May 14 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 (edited) 2 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Meeting someone through a mutual friend definitely happens in real life, so don't discount the possibility of making a connection through this setup. A former co-worker reached out to me once to tell me that a man that had seen my comments and profile on her social media feed wanted to be introduced to me through her but wanted to check with me first to make sure it was okay for him to pass along his information. Albeit, you met her through an online friend so of course you need to be a bit more cautious. Yeah, it's just the combination of factors that makes this really strange IMO. In your case, it was a former co-worker who introduced you two (so, a person who knew you IRL), and also the other person had seen your profile, your comments, and probably your photo. Completely different from the OP's case. Mutual friend introductions definitely exist, chatting with someone online and wanting to meet them is definitely a thing, and even blind dates with mutual friend introductions maybe... but a blind date with a friend of a friend of a "friend" whom you've never met? That's sus AF. Add in the ton of personal questions and how overt she was... This whole story actually reminds me of the No Hard Feelings movie, if you've seen that. I know it's just a light-hearted romcom, but the whole time I was like, "How does he not see what's happening!??!", and then I figured that he was really inexperienced and heck it probably even happens IRL. 😅 Edited May 14 by Els 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 34 minutes ago, Els said: Yeah, it's just the combination of factors that makes this really strange IMO. In your case, it was a former co-worker who introduced you two (so, a person who knew you IRL), and also the other person had seen your profile, your comments, and probably your photo. Completely different from the OP's case. Mutual friend introductions definitely exist, chatting with someone online and wanting to meet them is definitely a thing, and even blind dates with mutual friend introductions maybe... but a blind date with a friend of a friend of a "friend" whom you've never met? That's sus AF. Add in the ton of personal questions and how overt she was... This whole story actually reminds me of the No Hard Feelings movie, if you've seen that. I know it's just a light-hearted romcom, but the whole time I was like, "How does he not see what's happening!??!", and then I figured that he was really inexperienced and heck it probably even happens IRL. 😅 Yeah, if it was even a case that he told her "oh I'm chatting to a guy online" and she say your pic and thought "oh he's cute!" And wanted to know you that would be a lot less odd. She could have her pick of guys IRL, why would she want to pursue a guy she'd never even seen in a photo? It's odd. But there's all sorts in the world, maybe she knew you were a bit inexperienced and finds guys like that cute. Anyway proceed with caution I guess, try and give her the benefit of the doubt. But if your gut says something feels wrong, listen to it. Link to post Share on other sites
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