happyhorizons Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 3 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: Agreed! I’m glad that’s behind me and I’m looking forward to my next adventure! An ethical one and a professional one! That’s the attitude. On to bigger and better opportunities and experiences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 (edited) 1 hour ago, doingtherightthing said: Wow, very similar to how it began for me as well. I guess, a lot of times it starts with some sort of hand holding. I’m glad that’s behind you. Thanks. 🙂 Indeed. These men are a dime a dozen unfortunately.....😉 It's unfortunate how common this behavior is in the workplace. I thought I could field it but he crossed the line and I couldn't ignore it any longer. It's not worth putting up with that kind of treatment just for a job. I hope you find a better work environment where you are respected and treated with dignity. Edited July 16 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 4 hours ago, doingtherightthing said: The thing is, last night, I began thinking that I “provoked” it? I know, I didn’t, or if I did, it definitely wasn’t my intention. I’m not trying to play a victim , however, I just want to gain clarity on how to make sure this doesn’t happen in the future. Is it me or is it just other people allowing themselves this behavior? Don't worry about that now. If you concentrate on professional behavior and staying in your own lane when working, you won't have to question whether you "provoked" anything. That means no personal outbursts that require "making up" with your boss, hugging, any type of attention to their personal affairs, etc. If you do this, you will be 100% certain that you were not an active participant. And if you are all business and project the fact that you have well established boundaries, you won't be a likely target for men who are hoping for some kind of side benefits at work. When you've worked with people over a long period of time, it becomes almost impossible to keep the personal and professional from mingling somewhat. You and your bosses and co-workers will have got to know each other and develop some mutually respectful and possibly more personal types of relationships. That takes time. This job was only of a few months' duration for you. Next time keep yourself quite protected for the first year or so at least. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 7 hours ago, doingtherightthing said: Agreed! I’m glad that’s behind me and I’m looking forward to my next adventure! An ethical one and a professional one! Just don't let this situation taint you from engaging with your new co-workers and enjoying your new job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 Well done! You'll get another job any minute and you'll never regret it. There's nothing wrong with having professional values. 🍾 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 Just to be clear - you are NOT responsible for the behavior of others; however, if you keep your own behavior very professional at work, you will be clear in your own mind that you did not participate in anything that turned out to be unsavory, or worse, for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 On 7/16/2024 at 11:17 PM, MsJayne said: Well done! You'll get another job any minute and you'll never regret it. There's nothing wrong with having professional values. 🍾 I agree....Well Done. Hopefully, you interviews are going great. Keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 18 Author Share Posted July 18 Hi guys, please see previous posts to get more context into my current situation. Today, I told the president of the company that the reason I quit on the spot was because of my boss. I was very nervous during the conversation and perhaps blather a bit but I tried my best. At first, the president was reluctant to hear me because of the way that I had quit and tried to come back so he goes if you quit bad manager , why try to come back? I told him, I had tried to come back to carry out my duties and to at least finish my scheduled shifts as quitting on the spot isn’t in my character . I told him that my boss’ treatment towards me has eroded my confidence and told him that in the same breath when offered a promotion, he said he doesn’t need me, that I’m not a gods gift to the world and that my ego is too big. I had also mentioned he’s been inappropriate with me, before the promotion, that I had confronted him about it. However, it kept building up and my esteem kept going down. The president said, so reading between the lines, it seems that you made the best choice by resigning. The president, asked for specific examples that he can look on the camera. I told him, that’s all I’m ready to share right now. I said , the reason for this conversation isn’t to try to cause trouble , but to make you understand what is going on behind the scenes that could affect this company’s future. He said that he’ll look into it and will talk to him. It seemed that he didn’t want to share how “ unhappy” or “satisfied” he is with my boss as a manager. please guys, only supportive comments, if you want to scold me on why I even talked to the president, don’t comment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 18 Author Share Posted July 18 2 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: I agree....Well Done. Hopefully, you interviews are going great. Keep us posted. I have training tomorrow and another interview as well! See my new post! Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 1 minute ago, doingtherightthing said: I have training tomorrow and another interview as well! See my new post! So sorry....I did not see your post when I posted mine...Apologies. Great news nonetheless. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 18 Author Share Posted July 18 2 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: So sorry....I did not see your post when I posted mine...Apologies. Great news nonetheless. No worries. I meant see my new post about my ex company. Didn’t mean to make it sound that I’m not happy to fill you in on my progress. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 Just now, doingtherightthing said: No worries. I meant see my new post about my ex company. Didn’t mean to make it sound that I’m not happy to fill you in on my progress. I am so glad you are doing NOT ONLY THE RIGHT THING but that you are doing GREAT. Things are going to be good for you moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 4 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: I am so glad you are doing NOT ONLY THE RIGHT THING but that you are doing GREAT. Things are going to be good for you moving forward. Would love to hear your feedback, perspective and supportive comments on my new post. I’m all nerves today but I think I did the right thing! Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 4 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: Would love to hear your feedback, perspective and supportive comments on my new post. I’m all nerves today but I think I did the right thing! Sure I would love to read it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 3 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: Sure I would love to read it. I posted it. I hope it’s showing up? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 I imagine that getting this off your chest was quite cathartic. That the president didn't give you his thoughts on your boss was simply about being professional. But kindly, him suggesting that you leaving was the best choice does suggest there was two sides to the story. Otherwise, he would have said "I wish you'd come to me earlier" of "would you consider returning if we can get this situation addressed" I hope you can move forward now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 22 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: Hi guys, please see previous posts to get more context into my current situation. Today, I told the president of the company that the reason I quit on the spot was because of my boss. I was very nervous during the conversation and perhaps blather a bit but I tried my best. At first, the president was reluctant to hear me because of the way that I had quit and tried to come back so he goes if you quit bad manager , why try to come back? I told him, I had tried to come back to carry out my duties and to at least finish my scheduled shifts as quitting on the spot isn’t in my character . I told him that my boss’ treatment towards me has eroded my confidence and told him that in the same breath when offered a promotion, he said he doesn’t need me, that I’m not a gods gift to the world and that my ego is too big. I had also mentioned he’s been inappropriate with me, before the promotion, that I had confronted him about it. However, it kept building up and my esteem kept going down. The president said, so reading between the lines, it seems that you made the best choice by resigning. The president, asked for specific examples that he can look on the camera. I told him, that’s all I’m ready to share right now. I said , the reason for this conversation isn’t to try to cause trouble , but to make you understand what is going on behind the scenes that could affect this company’s future. He said that he’ll look into it and will talk to him. It seemed that he didn’t want to share how “ unhappy” or “satisfied” he is with my boss as a manager. please guys, only supportive comments, if you want to scold me on why I even talked to the president, don’t comment. I, for one, think you did the right thing. This is SORT OF standing up for yourself which is GREAT. I (being in the President's position) would want to know how one of my manager's was acting in the workplace. There is zero place in business OR WHEREEVER for a man to make lady FEEL like he DID YOU. PERIOD, End of Story. This was a tough lesson for you to learn and go through but you are going to be SOOOOOOO much better off in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 2 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: I posted it. I hope it’s showing up? I just saw it and replied. I am PROUD OF YOU...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 1 minute ago, basil67 said: I imagine that getting this off your chest was quite cathartic. That the president didn't give you his thoughts on your boss was simply about being professional. But kindly, him suggesting that you leaving was the best choice does suggest there was two sides to the story. Otherwise, he would have said "I wish you'd come to me earlier" of "would you consider returning if we can get this situation addressed" I hope you can move forward now. Thank you, yeah it seemed that my improper navigation when his coming onto made it seemed that I “welcomed” it. I wonder what do you mean by two sides of the story? Care to share? Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 2 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: I, for one, think you did the right thing. This is SORT OF standing up for yourself which is GREAT. I (being in the President's position) would want to know how one of my manager's was acting in the workplace. There is zero place in business OR WHEREEVER for a man to make lady FEEL like he DID YOU. PERIOD, End of Story. This was a tough lesson for you to learn and go through but you are going to be SOOOOOOO much better off in the future. Thank you! I wonder though , going off of Basil’s comments, about the 2 sides of the story? Perhaps my boss had a feeling , I’d come to the president and had put something in the President’s head about me already. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 (edited) 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: I imagine that getting this off your chest was quite cathartic. That the president didn't give you his thoughts on your boss was simply about being professional. But kindly, him suggesting that you leaving was the best choice does suggest there was two sides to the story. Otherwise, he would have said "I wish you'd come to me earlier" of "would you consider returning if we can get this situation addressed" I hope you can move forward now. I didn't READ IT LIKE THAT. I think the President meant that was in the OP's best interest to have resigned. Of course, the BOSS would spin things a different way most narcissistic people DO SUCH THINGS. Edited July 19 by happyhorizons Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 6 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: Thank you, yeah it seemed that my improper navigation when his coming onto made it seemed that I “welcomed” it. I wonder what do you mean by two sides of the story? Care to share? I wasn't in your office, so I can't speculate what it may have been. I just find it odd that the President didn't appear to convey regret around your leaving or say that he wished he'd known about it earlier so he could have addressed it before you got to the point of leaving. Anyway, it doesn't matter now because you're out and able to start again 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 1 minute ago, happyhorizons said: I didn't READ IT LIKE THAT. I think the President meant that was in the OP's best interest to have resigned. Of course, the BOSS would spin things a different way most narcissistic people DO SUCH THINGS. That makes sense. At some point when confronting my boss about seemingly inappropriate behavior with the client, he kept referring back to the time when I confronted him. The way he worded it was as I was coming onto him! I said I never came onto you. I thought it was crazy how he tried to flip it. I think, as soon as I confronted him, the boss, flipped it and told people ( perhaps when the President) that I was “coming” onto him. This is wild! Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 Just now, basil67 said: I wasn't in your office, so I can't speculate what it may have been. I just find it odd that the President didn't appear to convey regret around your leaving or say that he wished he'd known about it earlier so he could have addressed it before you got to the point of leaving. Anyway, it doesn't matter now because you're out and able to start again He probably doesn’t want to get “sued” or perhaps my boss portrayed me in a “different light.” Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 2 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: ...At some point when confronting my boss about seemingly inappropriate behavior with the client More likely, the boss portrayed you in a different light. For example, it's not your place to confront your boss about what you see as inappropriate behaviour with a client. You overstepped your mark big time. Between this and the comment about your ego, it sounds like he had his quibbles with you too 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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