stillafool Posted July 22, 2024 Share Posted July 22, 2024 15 minutes ago, mark clemson said: but it's weird that you posted it under OW and mention that he's married. Mark is right. This thread should have been in the Business and Professional Relationship forum. I never noticed that before. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 22, 2024 Author Share Posted July 22, 2024 2 hours ago, mark clemson said: JMO - you should have saved this for a therapist, which the president of your former company is definitively not. Companies and views vary, but senior management will sometimes overlook quite a lot for a high performer, which it sounds like perhaps this former boss of yours is/was. I mean look at fricking Matt Lauer. Unfortunately your boss tried to take advantage of this tendency and figured he could make physical passes at you and see if you responded. You didn't, AND the boss backed off IIRC, and yet you still continued to be "concerned" over it and left. That's fine, you shouldn't have to work in an environment where you feel uncomfortable. However the chances of the company president "doing something about him" for someone who's now left approach zero. IF you thought something might get done about it, you probably would have gone to the president before leaving. But I suspect at some level you felt nothing would be done so left instead. Again that's fine, but going and telling the president after quitting is putting the cart before the horse. I would note in passing that this thread is about workplace harassment NOT being an OW, as you never were one to begin with. It seems that whether your boss was married or not would have little to do with the harassment aspect - yet you even mention it in the title of the thread. I understand if you feel aggrieved about being put in this situation (who likes to feel uncomfortable at their job), but it's weird that you posted it under OW and mention that he's married. Almost as if you're fishing for online attention via "moral outrage" from the strongly anti-cheating folks who (are among those who) frequent this site. Totally agree. Thank you for your input. I learned a lot from this situation and now will know how to best approach such issue. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 22, 2024 Share Posted July 22, 2024 I'm glad you've moved on and gotten away from this situation at your previous job. I read back through this thread and see that your ex boss has a newborn. So he probably has been without sex for some time now and is so horny he's being inappropriate with you as well as his client and who knows who else. I've seen other men in his situation act like that and it is uncomfortable for women who have to work close to him. Even though he did say he as "committed" to his wife, I'm sure she'd be terribly hurt if she knew he were acting this way behind her back while she's trying to nurse their baby and heal. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 22, 2024 Share Posted July 22, 2024 On 7/20/2024 at 2:22 PM, doingtherightthing said: that’s why I had mentioned to not comment if opposing about my decision. That's not how message boards work. If you want an echo chamber when all your opinions and actions are validated, then don't post on an anonymous advice forum. People here give you the best advice they have and sometimes that advice may sting, particularly when your own missteps are pointed out. This isn't done to make you feel bad but to help you better navigate similar situations in the future. Often, the best is advice is the advice that is hardest to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 22, 2024 Author Share Posted July 22, 2024 31 minutes ago, introverted1 said: That's not how message boards work. If you want an echo chamber when all your opinions and actions are validated, then don't post on an anonymous advice forum. People here give you the best advice they have and sometimes that advice may sting, particularly when your own missteps are pointed out. This isn't done to make you feel bad but to help you better navigate similar situations in the future. Often, the best is advice is the advice that is hardest to hear. I understand and I have been given a friendly reminder by the moderators. I’ve extended my apology before and if I can , I’d remove the comment but do not know how. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 22, 2024 Author Share Posted July 22, 2024 34 minutes ago, stillafool said: I'm glad you've moved on and gotten away from this situation at your previous job. I read back through this thread and see that your ex boss has a newborn. So he probably has been without sex for some time now and is so horny he's being inappropriate with you as well as his client and who knows who else. I've seen other men in his situation act like that and it is uncomfortable for women who have to work close to him. Even though he did say he as "committed" to his wife, I'm sure she'd be terribly hurt if she knew he were acting this way behind her back while she's trying to nurse their baby and heal. Absolutely, it’s sad to see. Once again, I learned a lot about myself as well. I’ve learned that I’m more self-aware than before and able to take baby steps in establishing my boundaries. I have had not the best experience with establishing physical boundaries with the opposite sex due to fear. I noticed that I tend to go back and forth in establishing my boundaries due to self-doubt, however I am taking steps to ensure that I’m keeping myself in check and act/respond professionally so there’s no misunderstanding and miscommunication on what is permissible towards me. I had an interview today for a much better opportunity for my career and they’re ready to take the next step in the interview process. I am paying close attention to red flags in the beginning and will act accordingly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 22, 2024 Share Posted July 22, 2024 2 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: I had an interview today for a much better opportunity for my career and they’re ready to take the next step in the interview process. Oh, this is great and I wish you luck. 3 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: I noticed that I tend to go back and forth in establishing my boundaries due to self-doubt, however I am taking steps to ensure that I’m keeping myself in check and act/respond professionally so there’s no misunderstanding and miscommunication on what is permissible towards me. This is great. When we no better, we do better. All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 22, 2024 Author Share Posted July 22, 2024 1 hour ago, stillafool said: Oh, this is great and I wish you luck. This is great. When we no better, we do better. All the best. Thank you! I’m glad that you guys kept up with me and still supported me through ups and downs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 22, 2024 Share Posted July 22, 2024 (edited) Nevermind Edited July 22, 2024 by NuevoYorko Link to post Share on other sites
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