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just matched with a girl and im really not sure how to proceed with it or what it means, like is the like legitimate interest or just being nice


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zs0511

so i think the title explains it all in terms of what my question is. the issue for me is not that i matched with a girl but more so who i matched with. so the girl i matched with is not an ex or someone that ghosted me in the past, its actually someone i know from my past. me and this girl actually use to go to school together from kindergarten to the 6th grade. we went to a small religious privet school so while we werent amazing friends we knew each other, talked and were cordial with each other, we were just part of dif friend groups that never really hung out together. i would say we were in between friends and acquaintances. we never really hung out on our own outside school. after 6th grade i left to goto a city public highschool and eventually public highschool, she sayed there and eventually the private jewish high school, so once again dif group of friends that never really interacted. the only time i really ever saw her was through youth group when out chapter did things with her chapter. and when we did we always talked. and im not going to lie i did have a little bit of a crush on her at the time. 

well as alot of people experience as life went on after school we lost contact never really talked after that. fyi im 34 at the time of writing this to give you a sense of time. where things kind of get interesting and confusing for me is about 2,3 years ago we matched on one of the major dating apps. i was kind of stocked about this considering i did have a crush on her back in the day and she is still just as beautiful as i remembered her to be. she knew who i was without me explaining to her. well i asked her pointblank if she matched with me because she was interested or just because hey i saw an old friend on here, and her answer was the later which was kind of crushing so kind of moved on and didnt think anymore about. 

well the other day 3 years later we matched again on another dating app and i really dont know how to take it. like im thinking is it like last time where shes not really interested, or is she and was she but what i asked her last time did that kind of scare her and maybe made her think i also felt the later and she didnt want to embarrass herself. we havent really talked alot in the last 15 years so im not really sure if she would feel the need to like me on app to be nice. she has my phone number and facebook so if it was just to connect she has had other avenues to do so in the last few years. idk i just dont know what to think. the last few months ive gotten alot of crap luck with dating and im not really sure i can handle getting kicked in the nuts like this another time right now.

also do i just pointblank ask her out instead of wasting time on the apps. do i gauge her response to that as a way to get an idea of her interest level? also this app unless you have a paid subscription you cant see if people liked you untill you do so idk if that means anything

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basil67

Your question to her was very fair and a competent 34yo woman shouldn't be scared off by you clarifying her intentions.  

My rule of thumb that given she was a time waster last time, if she's changed her mind and wants pursue things, she should reach out first and tell you that that she's change her mind.  

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