My bf and his ex are bothering me BAD

[QueenA]

I used to be in a love triangle with my current bf and another girl. For years finally he stopped seeing her and we’ve been living together for 2 years. 
he has a lot and I mean a lot of history with her and they never had closure. They had a toxic relationship and his family hates her. Sometimes I feel he is not with her just because of his family. 
he told me recently a few days ago they talked on tik tok messenger (he blocked her everywhere else) and apologized to each other for the past and that he didn’t want her to hold a grudge towards him anymore. He wanted her to stop doing vengeful things towards him because he told her that’s not who she really is. He mentioned that he wanted her to just forget him so she won’t do vengeful things to him.he said he told her she hurt him just as much as he did her which I didn’t like

my problem with this whole interaction is that they messaged on tik tok but then he unblocked her other places as well…… why? If you guys agreed to leave each other alone and you want her to forget you…why unblock her? Sometimes I wonder if his mom didn’t hate her would he be with her. I will admit she is a really good person and the hate she had towards him was the only reason she acted ugly. But I just don’t know what’s his goal with her. I’m ok with their closure talk but then he unblocked her other places too…..

Edited May 16, 2024 by QueenA
Added more

[stillafool]

He obviously is still leaving the door open for her and that is why he's unblocked her.  Doesn't sound like he got closure if he's sill leaving the door open.  If she's a really good person why does his mother hate her?  Did you take him away from this girl?

Edited May 16, 2024 by stillafool

[QueenA]

10 minutes ago, stillafool said:

He obviously is still leaving the door open for her and that is why he's unblocked her.  Doesn't sound like he got closure if he's sill leaving the door open.  If she's a really good person why does his mother hate her?  Did you take him away from this girl?

Yes I took him away. But he told me he told her they CANT be together. Not that he doesn’t want to. I don’t think he realized how those words affected me. He doesn’t even realize what he said. He’s a mamas boy so when they fought his mom hated her because she would go toe to toe with him and she was very feisty. He and I fight sometimes too but not like they did at all

Edited May 16, 2024 by QueenA
Added more context

[stillafool]

Just now, QueenA said:

Yes I took him away. But he told me he told her they CANT be together. Not that he doesn’t want to. I don’t think he realized how those words affected me. He doesn’t even realize what he said 

See this is the problem. You interfered in their relationship and now he still wants her and that is why he can't let her go.  There's a saying, how you get them is how you lose them.

[QueenA]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

See this is the problem. You interfered in their relationship and now he still wants her and that is why he can't let her go.  There's a saying, how you get them is how you lose them.

So you think he wants her?

[stillafool]

9 minutes ago, QueenA said:

So you think he wants her?

I'm sorry but I do.  It seems obvious to me and I think you're right, it's because of his mother that he let her go.  Why does his mother hate her?

Edited May 16, 2024 by stillafool

[QueenA]

16 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I'm sorry but I do.  It seems obvious to me and I think you're right, it's because of his mother that he let her go.  Why does his mother hate her?

Because he’s a mamas boy and she never think he does anything wrong 

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, QueenA said:

Because he’s a mamas boy and she never think he does anything wrong 

Does his mother like you?

[QueenA]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Does his mother like you?

She loves me 

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, QueenA said:

She loves me 

So there must be a reason other than "because he's a mommas boy" that she hates his ex.  What was it?

[QueenA]

21 minutes ago, stillafool said:

So there must be a reason other than "because he's a mommas boy" that she hates his ex.  What was it?

Idk he said she had vengeful ways 

[Alpacalia]

Interesting that his mother loves you, the person that interfered in their lives, took the guy and used sex to keep or get control of the guy's life... but does not like the person that was wronged in the triangle that infringed. That makes little sense, when in reality you manipulated the situation to be preferred and favored...

[QueenA]

9 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Interesting that his mother loves you, the person that interfered in their lives, took the guy and used sex to keep or get control of the guy's life... but does not like the person that was wronged in the triangle that infringed. That makes little sense, when in reality you manipulated the situation to be preferred and favored...

Whoa! I didn’t manipulate anything 

[goldengirls]

If he has went as far as to find her on tik tok and message her that way, he still wants her.  
Men don’t usually reach out to talk to exes to clear their conscience from guilt.  They usually let it go and move on with their new relationship.  

I feel like he does want her still and is trying to talk to her any way he can.. 

he could be hanging on to you since his mom likes you so much, it probably makes his relationship with his mom much easier.  

but old feelings die hard and I think he still has feelings for her bc why else would he message her.  

[Alpacalia]

14 minutes ago, QueenA said:

Whoa! I didn’t manipulate anything 

Yeah you did, you slept with him while he was with his other girlfriend and used sex to keep him. And now are trying to play innocent and make it seem like this other girl is the problem when in reality you stirred everything up and then kick someone while they were down. Not cool.

[QueenA]

26 minutes ago, goldengirls said:

If he has went as far as to find her on tik tok and message her that way, he still wants her.  
Men don’t usually reach out to talk to exes to clear their conscience from guilt.  They usually let it go and move on with their new relationship.  

I feel like he does want her still and is trying to talk to her any way he can.. 

he could be hanging on to you since his mom likes you so much, it probably makes his relationship with his mom much easier.  

but old feelings die hard and I think he still has feelings for her bc why else would he message her.  

He messaged her because something happened to him and he thought she was behind it but she said she wasn’t then a few days later they’re messaging each other again apologizing for the past

[QueenA]

31 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Yeah you did, you slept with him while he was with his other girlfriend and used sex to keep him. And now are trying to play innocent and make it seem like this other girl is the problem when in reality you stirred everything up and then kick someone while they were down. Not cool.

You’re really fired up aren’t you. If he loves her why does he continue to choose me 

[Alpacalia]

47 minutes ago, QueenA said:

You’re really fired up aren’t you. If he loves her why does he continue to choose me 

Nah. This is a (unfortunately) typical situation. You’re certainly not the first, and sadly won’t be the last who has been duped and hurt in a triangle like this one. I don’t know why these types of things happen.

The only mistake you made was reading too much into his words and actions. The main take away here is to recognize that he never stopped loving her and all the while he has really just been biding his time waiting for the to get back together. If he loved you authentically, he never would have reached out to her in the first place.

For your part, don’t beat yourself up too hard. Life is a process of learning and putting yourself out there. From the looks of it, deep down you suspected that he never loved you like he should have. You wanted to believe him, you fell in love with the idea of being in love with him, and look where that’s gotten you.

[glows]

Are you not grossed out and asking him to move out. Why are you living with a guy who is unblocking exes and chatting about the past. 

It’s a different story if you weren’t living together. You’d just drop this sack like a hot potato but you live together. Please tell me you’re not paying all the bills and he’s a freeloader(you mentioned mamas boy).

[QueenA]

6 minutes ago, glows said:

Are you not grossed out and asking him to move out. Why are you living with a guy who is unblocking exes and chatting about the past. 

It’s a different story if you weren’t living together. You’d just drop this sack like a hot potato but you live together. Please tell me you’re not paying all the bills and he’s a freeloader(you mentioned mamas boy).

Definitely not. This is his home and I moved into it. He owns it and he works and pays the bills. Does it mean nothing that he only reached out to her because he thought she did something to him?

[stillafool]

14 minutes ago, QueenA said:

Definitely not. This is his home and I moved into it. He owns it and he works and pays the bills. Does it mean nothing that he only reached out to her because he thought she did something to him?

That depends, what did he think she had done? 

[QueenA]

9 minutes ago, stillafool said:

That depends, what did he think she had done? 

Got something from his social media removed. Which I can understand him asking her but why did you unblock her on other platforms after asking her

Edited May 16, 2024 by QueenA

[stillafool]

3 minutes ago, QueenA said:

Got someone from his social media removed. Which I can understand him asking her but why did you unblock her on other platforms after asking her

How and why would she do that?  Sounds like he's lying and just told you that as an excuse to contact her and unblock her.  You said he needed closure from her, which doesn't make sense either since he's the one who left her to be with  you.

[QueenA]

13 minutes ago, stillafool said:

How and why would she do that?  Sounds like he's lying and just told you that as an excuse to contact her and unblock her.  You said he needed closure from her, which doesn't make sense either since he's the one who left her to be with  you.

It’s alot with those two they were exhausting. 

[semble]

You're nothing more than a rebound for him.

Look it up.

This will not go well for you.