Communal Living and Casual Hookups

[Alpacalia]

I'm not sure if this is the right section or not (mods if it isn't, please move it).

I was having a conversation with a female friend the other day that I used to live with back when I had roommates.

Well, she was casually hooking up with men while we were room-mating together. She asked me once, if she could have sex in our garage late at night because she didn't feel comfortable doing it in her room in case they were loud. That she would put a sock on the door or something so I would know not to go into the garage.

I told her, since that was a communal space, I preferred she didn't. If it it was in her private bedroom, then obviously I have no say because 'her room her rules'.

She felt I was being judge-y.

I explained to her that I wasn't comfortable with the idea of people having sex in a communal space that we all share. It's not about being judgmental or prudish, but about respecting the shared living space and boundaries.

She argued that it was just a one-time thing and it wouldn't bother anyone. But I still didn't feel comfortable with the idea.

We ended up agreeing to disagree and luckily, she respected my wishes and didn't go through with it.

She is now married with children. But she brought it up the other day and we were laughing about it but it does make me wonder if I was being too uptight or if my feelings were valid.

[FMW]

Of course your feelings were valid, the two of you just had different ways of looking at the situation.

In college I had a roommate who frequently had her boyfriend spend the night on our sofa that folded out to a bed.  Our apartment was small and I always heard them having sex, and I often would get up in the morning to his bare butt (or once his front) as I left my bedroom as he was asleep in the living room.  I had to get dressed in the steamy bathroom.  She didn't think I should have a problem with it.  I walked out of the bathroom  one morning in just a towel to head to the bedroom to dress.  She got really upset about him seeing me in just a towel, but then I never saw his bare butt (or anything else) again.  Message received.  

Roommates can be difficult!

[Alpacalia]

11 hours ago, FMW said:

Of course your feelings were valid, the two of you just had different ways of looking at the situation.

In college I had a roommate who frequently had her boyfriend spend the night on our sofa that folded out to a bed.  Our apartment was small and I always heard them having sex, and I often would get up in the morning to his bare butt (or once his front) as I left my bedroom as he was asleep in the living room.  I had to get dressed in the steamy bathroom.  She didn't think I should have a problem with it.  I walked out of the bathroom  one morning in just a towel to head to the bedroom to dress.  She got really upset about him seeing me in just a towel, but then I never saw his bare butt (or anything else) again.  Message received.  

Roommates can be difficult!

Oh no! LOL

Roommates are for sure hard. I just disliked how she turned it on me that I am to uptight because I expected her to respect common areas. Of course, I appreciate her feedback but she had that conversation for a reason and I know I would too if it was the other way around.

I guess too because this wasn't like it was her boyfriend, just randoms that she wanted to have sex with in the garage.

Edited May 17, 2024 by Alpacalia