Is it attraction? or Interest? or love?

[fmsa6893]

Hi, I'm 28 years old male. I got a new job in closed medical environment it's been 4 months now I'm not going into the details to make it short I've noticed over time there's a person I work with who is twice my age if not more he treats me so kindly and the way he stares to my eyes says something and it's making me feel uncomfortable sometiomes especially at the first times before I realize sometimes he stares at me when I'm not paying attention to him or being busy, the thing is we do recpact each other a lot consdiering his age of course I do recpact him a lot he is a good person he does help me a lot at work he relies on me alot more than anyone even though he doesn't have to he obviously prioritizes me over anyone else he also likes to open conversions and laugh with me whether it's a joke or job related, small talk and always listen to me carefully when I talk to him, always smiles when he sees me, he checks up on me a lot if I'm there or not today sometimes he finds a reason to touch me respectfully and gentely whether rubbing my shoulders or my back or my hands he also sometimes offers me if I want him to make me a cup of tea\coffee or water, One time in late night shift after a long day of work I was busy working on my laptop then suddenly he comes at me kindly saying go to sleep you need to rest come on, also when he calls my name he adds "yyy" at the end, I do call him uncle beacuse he is probably the same age as my father and to respect him as well, me myself I don't mind him to be honest he is so kind person with me I started to get comfortable with him each day it's something I didn't used to before, there are so many things I probably didn't mention but I think that's enough.

So here are my questions:

I don't know what kind of situation I'm in?, Is it like father and son thing to him?

what should I do?, Even though I don't mind him but I'm so curious and confused at the same time.

And why me?

*Sorry my english isn't that good when narrating a long story like this.

Edited May 16, 2024 by fsma6893
miss

[stillafool]

It sounds like this guy has a crush on you.  Is he gay? Are you?  Do you like him back?  He should not be crossing boundaries and touching you.  If you are uncomfortable tell him to not touch you.

[fmsa6893]

58 minutes ago, stillafool said:

It sounds like this guy has a crush on you.  Is he gay? Are you?  Do you like him back?  He should not be crossing boundaries and touching you.  If you are uncomfortable tell him to not touch you.

I don't know about his true sexualty but he is married and he has kids.

Edited May 16, 2024 by fmsa6893
missed

[fmsa6893]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

It sounds like this guy has a crush on you.  Is he gay? Are you?  Do you like him back?  He should not be crossing boundaries and touching you.  If you are uncomfortable tell him to not touch you.

But can someone at his age get crush on someone young like me is it possible!?

[goldengirls]

5 minutes ago, fmsa6893 said:

But can someone at his age get crush on someone young like me is it possible!?

Crushes, YES! All the time! 

but usually that’s where it ends.  Crushes are fun and happen in the workplace a lot for this reason.  
 

but to say it would end up as a relationship, most likely not with that age difference.  Not saying it never happens, bc it does! 
 

but I would chalk it up to a fun crush. 

[fmsa6893]

2 minutes ago, goldengirls said:

Crushes, YES! All the time! 

but usually that’s where it ends.  Crushes are fun and happen in the workplace a lot for this reason.  
 

but to say it would end up as a relationship, most likely not with that age difference.  Not saying it never happens, bc it does! 
 

but I would chalk it up to a fun crush. 

I don't think this is going to end anytime soon...

[fmsa6893]

6 minutes ago, goldengirls said:

Crushes, YES! All the time! 

but usually that’s where it ends.  Crushes are fun and happen in the workplace a lot for this reason.  
 

but to say it would end up as a relationship, most likely not with that age difference.  Not saying it never happens, bc it does! 
 

but I would chalk it up to a fun crush. 

Keep in mind we are both males.

[fmsa6893]

49 minutes ago, goldengirls said:

Crushes, YES! All the time! 

but usually that’s where it ends.  Crushes are fun and happen in the workplace a lot for this reason.  
 

but to say it would end up as a relationship, most likely not with that age difference.  Not saying it never happens, bc it does! 
 

but I would chalk it up to a fun crush. 

 Crushes are fun and happen in the workplace a lot for this reason.

What reason you mean can you please explain?

[glows]

Rubbing your shoulders, back and your hands is strange and unusual in the workplace. 

Why bother wondering what he wants or thinks? He’s married with kids and is disrespectful as a colleague. You think he’s respectful of you but you are confused so think again.

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, fmsa6893 said:

I don't think this is going to end anytime soon...

Why is that?  Are you gay?  Yes, at any age you can get a crush on someone.

[fmsa6893]

10 minutes ago, glows said:

Rubbing your shoulders, back and your hands is strange and unusual in the workplace. 

Why bother wondering what he wants or thinks? He’s married with kids and is disrespectful as a colleague. You think he’s respectful of you but you are confused so think again.

Chill, so what does it mean then? other than him being so kind to me.

[fmsa6893]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Why is that?  Are you gay?  Yes, at any age you can get a crush on someone.

I'm not saying I'm gay lol I was just asking about him.

[fmsa6893]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Why is that?  Are you gay?  Yes, at any age you can get a crush on someone.

I'm not saying I'm or he is gay lol I was just asking about him since we are working toghter from now on... I wasn't expecting that maybe he is not gay after all?

[stillafool]

7 minutes ago, fmsa6893 said:

I'm not saying I'm gay lol I was just asking about him.

I know you didn't say you were gay.  I'm just asking ARE you gay?  Staring deeply into your eyes, rubbing your shoulders and back are things people do when they have a romantic interest.

[fmsa6893]

Just now, stillafool said:

I know you didn't say you were gay.  I'm just asking ARE you gay?  Staring deeply into your eyes, rubbing your shoulders and back are things people do when they have a romantic interest.

Does that makes him 100% gay?? even tho he is married and having kids I never take it in sexual sense hopefully he just wants to be a friend with someone who is younger than him?

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, fmsa6893 said:

Does that makes him 100% gay?? even tho he is married and having kids I never take it in sexual sense hopefully he just wants to be a friend with someone who is younger than him?

He is obviously bi at best if he has a wife and kids.  Why would he need to be friends with someone just because they are younger.  Do you two have a lot in common and have the same hobbies?

[fmsa6893]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

He is obviously bi at best if he has a wife and kids.  Why would he need to be friends with someone just because they are younger.  Do you two have a lot in common and have the same hobbies?

Outside of our work environment not really I don't think so, but I can tell he gets happy when I'm around, ngl he is growing up on me but never in sexual sense that's why I'm wondering on his side.

[Lotsgoingon]

This guy wants to have sex with you. 

[basil67]

His intentions are irrelevant.  What matters is whether or not this kind of attention is what YOU want.   Are you enjoying it or does it make you uncomfortable?   If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him to keep his hands to himself and create some emotional distance from him.   If that doesn't stop him, report him to HR

[fmsa6893]

2 hours ago, basil67 said:

His intentions are irrelevant.  What matters is whether or not this kind of attention is what YOU want.   Are you enjoying it or does it make you uncomfortable?   If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him to keep his hands to himself and create some emotional distance from him.   If that doesn't stop him, report him to HR

Me myself I found it a nice thing when someone is way older than you takes care of you ofc other than your dad that's for sure but hopefully it's not in the sense of him wants me for sex other than that I don't mind him as a good trust worthy old friend !

[fmsa6893]

8 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

This guy wants to have sex with you. 

well I hope that's not true, Beacuse he is so so nice to me.

Edited May 17, 2024 by fmsa6893

[ExpatInItaly]

So you are not romantically attracted to him? 

[basil67]

1 hour ago, fmsa6893 said:

Me myself I found it a nice thing when someone is way older than you takes care of you ofc other than your dad that's for sure but hopefully it's not in the sense of him wants me for sex other than that I don't mind him as a good trust worthy old friend !

This does not have a ring of truth.  I'm feeling like this is yet another variation of the works of fiction about old creepers we've had so much trouble with lately

 

Edited May 17, 2024 by basil67

[fmsa6893]

23 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

So you are not romantically attracted to him? 

Being attracted to someone is not an option you can take it just grows up on you uncontrollably it's not me being attracted to him but him he appears to be attracted to me or he just likes me I don't know.

[fmsa6893]

31 minutes ago, basil67 said:

This does not have a ring of truth.  I'm feeling like this is yet another variation of the works of fiction about old creepers we've had so much trouble with lately

 

Ohh yeah but I won't judge him really quickly he seems so polite with me as I'm always polite with anyone I meet yes this is who I'm, I will see how it goes 🤞🏻

Edited May 17, 2024 by fmsa6893