Is it truly over?

[JamesTaylor7892]

Hi there

I am not one to typically dwell on things that have been, but I am interested in getting a 3rd party opinion on a girl a recently dated but am no longer.

The story behind why I'm writing today starts with me meeting a girl on Hinge a couple of months back. I've been on several hinge dates in the past 18 months but I didn't hit it off with anyone quite like I did with her. She immediately cancelled another date she had planned for the following evening to drive up and see me, and we had 3 more dates afterward where we slept together twice. I was told by a friend however that she may have lovebombed me though, as 3 weeks ago she abruptly ended the relationship after a month of seeing each other. The reason he said this is because she would speak a lot in the future tense about us, introduced me to both her mum and brother on facetime on two separate occasions and introduced me in person to her best friend before she went on holiday with her. Which in hindsight is awfully quick to do for someone you've only know for several weeks but I guess you could say I got caught up in her whirlwind and wet along with it because I felt well this is the person I've been looking for. 

I should mention she has been separated for one year and is about to start divorce proceedings with her ex with whom she has two children. I have a young daughter myself who is a similar age to her kids so I never saw this as an issue and each of us have split custody though she did downplay the matter of the divorce early on. The last time I met up with her we had a nice time together, went for food, then back to her place. Chilled on the couch and watch TV cuddling and what not, though there was something off I couldn't put my finger on, like maybe something she wasn't saying, and while my intuition was to ask if she was okay I felt at the time I didn't want to know the answer. I think on some level deep down I felt she wasn't okay and was probably soon going to end things. Two days later she did with a text basically saying along the lines of 'am feeling overwhelmed and needing some space,' 'I don't think I'm ready for a relationship with the divorce coming up,' and 'your such a lovely guy and we've had so much fun.' I of course was quite gutted by this but I simply responded by telling her that I completely understand, that I cant imagine or relate to getting divorced and that if ever she wanted to reach out to me again one day in the future if she felt in a better place then she could. She thanked me and we left it at that and haven't spoken since. 

In that time we haven't blocked each other on WhatsApp or Instagram, and I've noticed whenever I put a story up of me spending time with my daughter, friends etc. she's always one of the first to view it.

I am at a point now where I have accepted that I need to move on and have lined a couple of dates up for next week, and to be honest there's every possibility she's doing the same and I wouldn't blame her for it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still hurting a little from it but I suppose that is mostly due to how quick and intense we had become with each other in such a short space of time, though I can't help but feel that at the end of all of this I was just simply a rebound for her while she sorts her life out. 

 

I guess what's brought me here today is that I am looking for an outside opinion on the situation, does she still maybe hold a torch for me because she never blocked me and watches all my social media stories, or do you think she is completely indifferent and I was just simply a temporary distraction she used for short term pleasure and then disposed of me once she got bored? and finally do you think she is someone that is really even worth wasting anymore time thinking about? I suppose I never really felt a good sense of closure with this and would just like to see what you guys think.

 

Any advice I'd greatly appreciate,

 

Thank you

 

James

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, JamesTaylor7892 said:

does she still maybe hold a torch for me because she never blocked me and watches all my social media stories, or do you think she is completely indifferent and I was just simply a temporary distraction she used for short term pleasure and then disposed of me once she got bored?

I think neither, she obviously liked you, but she said it herself, she isn’t ready for a relationship. I don’t think she’s holding a torch for you. She is probably just grateful for the experience and overall friendly. You should move on.