sparrowb Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 I finally felt I moved on from my ex so set up dating app profile which my ex liked my profile... I was intrigued so i matched him but deleted the account eventually as i felt anxious. I know he's toxic for me but since he was my first big crush/love I realized he still affects me and will anyhow. I just have to live withit, and i decided to really go on some dates since i really moved on from my ex thorugh work which means i didn't date anyone for last two years, I set up a new profile last week which i found couple days later that my ex again liked my profile I am sorry but not sure what he's doing, we never talked since we broke up, as far as i know him if he's done, he's done, he never catch those remaining feelings or honestly consider he's like 6-7 yrs older than me i don't think he does it to catch my attention, or? I want to know his intention but i am not going to reach out or ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 You have identified that he was toxic and you don't want him back in your life. That's all you need to know. There is no reasons to want to know why he does that, it could be to play with you, to get back with you, to get some attention, because he's bored, because he just broke up with someone and he's looking up exes....who cares? and why do you care? Block him. Part of 'moving on' is to not look back, to not wonder why, to not be curious, and to just block and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparrowb Posted May 19 Author Share Posted May 19 10 hours ago, Gaeta said: You have identified that he was toxic and you don't want him back in your life. That's all you need to know. There is no reasons to want to know why he does that, it could be to play with you, to get back with you, to get some attention, because he's bored, because he just broke up with someone and he's looking up exes....who cares? and why do you care? Block him. Part of 'moving on' is to not look back, to not wonder why, to not be curious, and to just block and move on. I am not sure, I know it was toxic but I am also opened to have a conversation if he has reached out. I know all of people says thinking about ex is stupid thing but it's hard to neglect if that person was very important and had spent time together for quite some time too... it's not that simple i think Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 19 Share Posted May 19 39 minutes ago, sparrowb said: it's not that simple i think Nothing is simple but there was a reason why you broke up. Letting go of someone we love is hard, no matter what it's real hard but it needs to be done for our own good. Is this the guy that broke up with you out of the blue 2 years ago? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 19 Share Posted May 19 43 minutes ago, sparrowb said: I am not sure, I know it was toxic but I am also opened to have a conversation if he has reached out. I know all of people says thinking about ex is stupid thing but it's hard to neglect if that person was very important and had spent time together for quite some time too... it's not that simple i think Another vote for blocking him. And truly, you were only together for 10 months and for much of that you were seeing red flags and weren't happy. And to be honest, I can't see why he'd remain important to you. If you stick your hand in a fire and it burns you once, commonsense says that you don't do it a second time. Please go back and re-read all these threads you've written about him. Can you really make a good argument for allowing him space in your brain? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 19 Share Posted May 19 11 hours ago, sparrowb said: I just have to live withit Those feelings will fade, but they will only do so if you don't feed them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sparrowb Posted May 19 Author Share Posted May 19 21 minutes ago, basil67 said: Another vote for blocking him. And truly, you were only together for 10 months and for much of that you were seeing red flags and weren't happy. And to be honest, I can't see why he'd remain important to you. If you stick your hand in a fire and it burns you once, commonsense says that you don't do it a second time. Please go back and re-read all these threads you've written about him. Can you really make a good argument for allowing him space in your brain? I hear all your both points, it's just me being stupid honestly. He was my first love, I thought I am going to get married with him, and think I have this little piece of good memories which make me think him good person, I didn't date since broke up so maybe that's also why. I appreciate your thoughts and opinions but maybe I just have to take some own time thinking about this. Thanks so much Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 19 Share Posted May 19 6 minutes ago, sparrowb said: I just have to take some own time thinking about this. I think you need to get out there and start dating again. I think you may be lonely and that's why your head start thinking of the little crumbs this guy thrown at you back 2 years ago. There is nothing to think about, more you think about him more you'll depressed. Go out ! go on dates! fall in love with someone else! Let me tell you, first love is very over-rated! As we age we love deeper, better, smarter. This guy is a nobody in the big picture. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted May 19 Share Posted May 19 15 hours ago, Gaeta said: Let me tell you, first love is very over-rated! As we age we love deeper, better, smarter. Totally agree! Like every other skill, loving gets better with practice. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 20 Share Posted May 20 First loves do not deserve any commitment after it's over. So what if it was your first experience....remember it turned into a bad experience too, so stop romanticizing it. You wasted two years of your life being traumatized over something you should have forgotten about and moved on from. You let this guy win...make him lose...block/delete him. Make him know you ain't having any of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 20 Share Posted May 20 On 5/18/2024 at 9:38 AM, sparrowb said: I finally felt I moved on from my ex so set up dating app profile which my ex liked my profile... I was intrigued so i matched him but deleted the account eventually as i felt anxious. I know he's toxic for me but since he was my first big crush/love I realized he still affects me and will anyhow. I just have to live withit, and i decided to really go on some dates since i really moved on from my ex thorugh work which means i didn't date anyone for last two years, I set up a new profile last week which i found couple days later that my ex again liked my profile I am sorry but not sure what he's doing, we never talked since we broke up, as far as i know him if he's done, he's done, he never catch those remaining feelings or honestly consider he's like 6-7 yrs older than me i don't think he does it to catch my attention, or? I want to know his intention but i am not going to reach out or ask. It could be he likes the idea that you are back to dating now and are over him, so he no longer feels guilt over the break up. Don't read more into it and just move on with your search to find new dating partners. Link to post Share on other sites
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