DonJ95 Posted May 20, 2024 Share Posted May 20, 2024 Me and this girl started speaking accidentally online. Found out she lives across the world from me. Still we chatted away and fell for each other. Due to an argument we had because I said she began responding with disinterest (one word reply etc) she removed me from her friend list immediately. I added her back and i set things straight. We communicated and understood where it went wrong. We also agreed we’d be hurt at some point because we should find someone we can be with physically. She said we should stop talking because that’s gonna happen. I said no because i love her so we kept speaking. Well today, I joked with her as we do, and sent her kisses “as a friend”. She didn’t like the joke, which i felt was odd because she always played off it. She said there was no love because we were just friends. I got pissed and sent her an essay about how she’s hurt me recently, and my feelings. I then removed her, meaning i couldn’t get a response back. Now my anxiety is spiking through the roof, and I want to talk to her. But i feel like a….B word (haha), if i were to try and talk to her. She’s a bit complicated and i understand that, i really tried i feel. But did i overreact, did i act on impulse? I don’t know but she didn’t try to add me back like i did her that time. Im just hurt. I’m going crazy knowing i might not speak to her again. I really do love her. Just sometimes i feel like she doesn’t….I tried to do things to get my mind off her but in reality i can’t Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 21, 2024 Share Posted May 21, 2024 7 hours ago, DonJ95 said: She said we should stop talking because that’s gonna happen. I said no Look, this is the point where you should have listened to her rather than doubling-down on your own desires. When someone doesn't want to communicate with us, we can't force them to. We need to respect their boundaries and let go. 7 hours ago, DonJ95 said: I got pissed and sent her an essay about how she’s hurt me recently, and my feelings This is too much for someone you have never met (and even for someone you have) That sort of outpouring belongs in a journal. It sounds like you have difficulty regulating your emotions and keeping perspective. 7 hours ago, DonJ95 said: But did i overreact, did i act on impulse? Well, yes, but even more importantly? You over-invested By a lot. You got all wrapped uo in an online friend and seemingly lost sight of the fact that this was not a relationship and she doesn't owe you her company. I understand you are hurt, but you need to step back and address the real problem, which is that you got very carried away with a digital pen-pal. Why did you let that happen? Are you lonely in real life? Not having much luck in love? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DonJ95 Posted May 21, 2024 Author Share Posted May 21, 2024 6 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Look, this is the point where you should have listened to her rather than doubling-down on your own desires. When someone doesn't want to communicate with us, we can't force them to. We need to respect their boundaries and let go. This is too much for someone you have never met (and even for someone you have) That sort of outpouring belongs in a journal. It sounds like you have difficulty regulating your emotions and keeping perspective. Well, yes, but even more importantly? You over-invested By a lot. You got all wrapped uo in an online friend and seemingly lost sight of the fact that this was not a relationship and she doesn't owe you her company. I understand you are hurt, but you need to step back and address the real problem, which is that you got very carried away with a digital pen-pal. Why did you let that happen? Are you lonely in real life? Not having much luck in love? In hindsight yeah I should’ve listened but when we agreed we’d get hurt at the end, we were talking about like this. She happily continued talking to me like normal. And yeah, I agree I did too much with my final message and I really hate that I didn’t think it over at the time, as I was just mad. I wish I could’ve heard her out. Although I overinvested, it wasn’t a one sided thing. She said a lot more things that pushed things to the extreme. I’m not gonna blame her but we knew the relationship we had and wanted despite staying as friends due to distance. Of course I got carried away, we spoke for fun and she said things you say to your significant other and I returned the energy. I just hope i can reconnect, not sure what i want out of it but i just wanted to apologize for what i did, even if maybe she doesn’t care, which then id feel stupid haha Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22, 2024 Share Posted May 22, 2024 14 hours ago, DonJ95 said: i just wanted to apologize for what i did, even if maybe she doesn’t care, which then id feel stupid haha Apologies are given because we want to acknowledge that we did the wrong thing and are sorry for the hurt caused. No matter what the outcome, it's never wrong or embarrassing to give a genuine apology. Just make sure that you don't write something which partially blames her for your outburst Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 22, 2024 Share Posted May 22, 2024 I think it is going to be best for you to leave her in your past. You will difficulty moving on (and watching her move on and fade away) if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts