Should I buy a place if my gf doesn't like it?

[Els]

17 hours ago, ironpony said:

But I am almost 40 and I didn't want to keep living with my parents beyond my forties unless that's unreasonable? 

The options are not just to live with your parents or buy property, lol. I know that's what your parents are telling you, but it's NOT true. The majority of people under 40 are renting. H and I could get approved for a lot of properties, due to H's income being high, but we are renting because our current circumstances make that a better decision for us, both in terms of finances and quality of life. We keep up with the housing market and we look at properties and talk to people who've bought, but at the end of the day we have currently decided to keep renting.

There are issues with renting as well, of course, but they have to be balanced against the issues with buying, based on individual circumstances.

Edited June 23 by Els

[ironpony]

7 hours ago, Els said:

Yes, it's impulsive because most people in your situation would just wait a few years until their gf graduates and they are married, and buy a better house together with 2 incomes instead of 1. Almost nobody in this day and age buys a property on 1 income unless they are in the top 10% of wage earners or have inherited a lot of money.  But yes, I know "friends and family told you" that you apparently need a house of your own in case you break up etc etc... and like I said we've discussed that topic extremely thoroughly by now, so there's no point going through it again.

If this purchase goes through, I really hope you have a really, really solid budget plan to save up enough for a new car or for house repairs, because you are going to need it. I don't think you can afford to make any fun purchases for the foreseeable future.

Oh okay thanks.  Well so far it's going through.

I did it because I would advise to have my own place in case my girlfriend left me because it was also quieted out before our vet may have been unsound thinking on my family and friends park. 

 

Is there a way to tell my family and friends to not be unsound when they want to help or is that easier said than done?

[basil67]

2 hours ago, ironpony said:

Is there a way to tell my family and friends to not be unsound when they want to help or is that easier said than done?

A fool doesn't know they are a fool.   And someone giving unsound advice doesn't realise that it's unsound or unsuitable for an individual's situation.  And I think you've been doing the wrong thing by asking opinions of so many people and confusing yourself

What you need to do is find someone who gives wise advice which is appropriate for your situation and listen to them

Edited June 23 by basil67

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, ironpony said:

I did it because I would advise to have my own place in case my girlfriend left me

Your family doesn't think your relationship will last?

[ironpony]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

Your family doesn't think your relationship will last?

I think it's because there is a lot of break up and divorce then ever before, so they are worried on that probability I think.

[ironpony]

2 hours ago, basil67 said:

A fool doesn't know they are a fool.   And someone giving unsound advice doesn't realise that it's unsound or unsuitable for an individual's situation.  And I think you've been doing the wrong thing by asking opinions of so many people and confusing yourself

What you need to do is find someone who gives wise advice which is appropriate for your situation and listen to them

That makes sense.  Well I guess in the future, when she is done college, when can sell this place and get a better place together, once she is making more money, if that sounds good?

[basil67]

1 minute ago, ironpony said:

That makes sense.  Well I guess in the future, when she is done college, when can sell this place and get a better place together, once she is making more money, if that sounds good?

This is a decision the two of you will have to make together in the future

Edited June 23 by basil67

[ironpony]

12 hours ago, Els said:

The options are not just to live with your parents or buy property, lol. I know that's what your parents are telling you, but it's NOT true. The majority of people under 40 are renting. H and I could get approved for a lot of properties, due to H's income being high, but we are renting because our current circumstances make that a better decision for us, both in terms of finances and quality of life. We keep up with the housing market and we look at properties and talk to people who've bought, but at the end of the day we have currently decided to keep renting.

There are issues with renting as well, of course, but they have to be balanced against the issues with buying, based on individual circumstances.

 

A friend of mine who gave me advice as has her own home and is not going in on it with a spouse, but maybe she is not the best to listen to, if she is paying for her own place, just herself?

[ironpony]

Just now, basil67 said:

This is a decision the two of you will have to make together. 

Yeah we are both up for it, just wonder if it's best, if getting this place was a mistake.

[basil67]

10 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Yeah we are both up for it, just wonder if it's best, if getting this place was a mistake.

If the time period for cancelling the purchase has finished, there's no place for second thoughts now

[Gaeta]

6 hours ago, ironpony said:

I think it's because there is a lot of break up and divorce then ever before, so they are worried on that probability I think.

Even if there are a lot of break ups people still marry and buy houses together. See below, that's not true people breakup more than ever. Do you just believe everything people tell you without ever doing your own research? The same people told you the real estate market is gonna go up so fast you got to buy now. 

People divorce less now than in 1973.

The divorce rate dropped to 5.6 per 1,000 married people in 2020, the lowest number since 1973, the institute said, citing data from Statistics Canada.

 

[Gaeta]

6 hours ago, ironpony said:

Yeah we are both up for it, just wonder if it's best, if getting this place was a mistake.

If you sell in a couple of years you will lose money.

* you will have no equity on the condo because those first years almost all our payments go to interest payments.

* sellers have to pay a fee around 5% of the sale price to the real estate agent. That taken out of your sale.

* you will have again inspection fees, notary fees, welcome tax fees, moving fees, reconnection fees for new property.

[basil67]

7 hours ago, ironpony said:

A friend of mine who gave me advice as has her own home and is not going in on it with a spouse, but maybe she is not the best to listen to, if she is paying for her own place, just herself?

You really need to stop asking advice from people who aren't qualified to guide you

[Els]

13 hours ago, ironpony said:

Oh okay thanks.  Well so far it's going through.

I did it because I would advise to have my own place in case my girlfriend left me because it was also quieted out before our vet may have been unsound thinking on my family and friends park. 

 

Is there a way to tell my family and friends to not be unsound when they want to help or is that easier said than done?

If they have good intentions, there's no point in telling them that. Just smile and nod and discard as needed. That's what I do with unsolicited advice from family, anyway.

If you haven't done this, PLEASE get a consult with a professional financial advisor, see if your bank offers these services. They should be in the best position to advise you about how to handle this financial situation going forward.

[ironpony]

That makes sense.  Well the thing that gives me a lot of anxiety is whenever I want to achieve a personal goal, such as owning my own place, or before, trying to break into the filmmaking industry, as a career, I am often told I shouldn't do it as it too risky.  But then I feel like I do not accomplish any personal goals for myself, and it's gotten to the point where it feels like a midlife crisis now.

Is it too big of me to want to achieve such personal goals, which means they involve risk?  Plus other people I know have accomplished those goals, so when they say it's a bad idea, for me, I wonder why if they are doing it.

Edited June 25 by ironpony

[basil67]

2 hours ago, ironpony said:

That makes sense.  Well the thing that gives me a lot of anxiety is whenever I want to achieve a personal goal, such as owning my own place, or before, trying to break into the filmmaking industry, as a career, I am often told I shouldn't do it as it too risky.  But then I feel like I do not accomplish any personal goals for myself, and it's gotten to the point where it feels like a midlife crisis now.

Is it too big of me to want to achieve such personal goals, which means they involve risk?  Plus other people I know have accomplished those goals, so when they say it's a bad idea, for me, I wonder why if they are doing it.

We all take risks all the time.  Life isn't about avoiding risk, it's about risk management.  When taking a risk, you need have a very clear understanding of what the risks are.  And also a clear understanding of the outcome if the risky undertaking fails.   Then you need to do what you can to reduce the risk.

Do you have a plan for if you suddenly need a new car?  It only takes a small accident to see an old car become an insurance write off.   What if the house needs something expensive like a new heating system?  Can you pay for it?   

With regards to your friends, if they had a plan and knew that they could afford a major expense, their house purchase would be low risk and sensible.  If they have no available funds for an unexpected expense, then their purchase would be high risk and not very sensible

 

 

Edited June 25 by basil67

[Gaeta]

8 hours ago, ironpony said:

I want to achieve a personal goal, such as owning my own place

You do have a property now. Learn to be happy and content with what you have. You don't need anything bigger and you don't need an additional parking. Now that you own it - make it work for yourself and your girlfriend. Stay in it, make it comfortable, make it a home. If you know your car is gonna give up soon then take a second job and pile up money so you can replace it when times come.  A property gains equity when you stay in it. 

[ironpony]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

We all take risks all the time.  Life isn't about avoiding risk, it's about risk management.  When taking a risk, you need have a very clear understanding of what the risks are.  And also a clear understanding of the outcome if the risky undertaking fails.   Then you need to do what you can to reduce the risk.

Do you have a plan for if you suddenly need a new car?  It only takes a small accident to see an old car become an insurance write off.   What if the house needs something expensive like a new heating system?  Can you pay for it?   

With regards to your friends, if they had a plan and knew that they could afford a major expense, their house purchase would be low risk and sensible.  If they have no available funds for an unexpected expense, then their purchase would be high risk and not very sensible

 

 

That makes sense.  My friends have more additional funds but they took out bigger mortgages to be paid much longer overtime with higher interests. They told me I did good and there are advantages to paying off for a property sooner as well if they have a point there.

One of my friends owns a home and not a car.  She buses to work and back and said she felt the home was more important to her unless she is unsound for choosing the home over the car.

[Gaeta]

You cannot compare yourself to your friends unless you have the same revenues, same needs, and same life circumstances. You and your girlfriend live far from work where city transportation does not reach if I remember well.

There are advantages of paying off your home sooner  if you don't have other needs like buying a car!! making repairs, and building an emergency saving account. 

You need a financial advisor. 

Financial advisors are FREE at your bank. 

[Els]

14 hours ago, ironpony said:

That makes sense.  Well the thing that gives me a lot of anxiety is whenever I want to achieve a personal goal, such as owning my own place, or before, trying to break into the filmmaking industry, as a career, I am often told I shouldn't do it as it too risky.  But then I feel like I do not accomplish any personal goals for myself, and it's gotten to the point where it feels like a midlife crisis now.

Is it too big of me to want to achieve such personal goals, which means they involve risk?  Plus other people I know have accomplished those goals, so when they say it's a bad idea, for me, I wonder why if they are doing it.

As @basil67 and @Gaeta have said, there's a big difference between avoiding all risk, and being careful with risk management. Everything we do in life carries risk, but I hope you'll agree that there's a huge spectrum of risk between taking a walk in the park and jumping out of a plane with no backup parachute.

You need to talk to a financial advisor about your goals and how to come up with a plan to achieve those goals while minimizing the risk.

[ironpony]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

You cannot compare yourself to your friends unless you have the same revenues, same needs, and same life circumstances. You and your girlfriend live far from work where city transportation does not reach if I remember well.

There are advantages of paying off your home sooner  if you don't have other needs like buying a car!! making repairs, and building an emergency saving account. 

You need a financial advisor. 

Financial advisors are FREE at your bank. 

That's true if the car doesn't work I will have to look for a job in the city but I am looking for a new job anyway.

[ironpony]

26 minutes ago, Els said:

As @basil67 and @Gaeta have said, there's a big difference between avoiding all risk, and being careful with risk management. Everything we do in life carries risk, but I hope you'll agree that there's a huge spectrum of risk between taking a walk in the park and jumping out of a plane with no backup parachute.

You need to talk to a financial advisor about your goals and how to come up with a plan to achieve those goals while minimizing the risk.

That makes sense.  I will do that. Thanks!

[basil67]

4 hours ago, ironpony said:

That makes sense.  My friends have more additional funds but they took out bigger mortgages to be paid much longer overtime with higher interests. They told me I did good and there are advantages to paying off for a property sooner as well if they have a point there.

One of my friends owns a home and not a car.  She buses to work and back and said she felt the home was more important to her unless she is unsound for choosing the home over the car.

I agree you need a financial advisor.  Paying off your mortgage more quickly is only wise if you have access to redraw in case of emergency.  

If using public transport works well for your friend, her decision to go without a car is sound.  Again, it's about how the choice works for the individual and their circumstances

[basil67]

You're talking about paying your mortgage off more quickly . Are you paying more than the minimum repayments?   

[ironpony]

On 6/25/2024 at 3:46 PM, basil67 said:

You're talking about paying your mortgage off more quickly . Are you paying more than the minimum repayments?   

Im paying the minimum why?