You never know what you got until it's gone :-(Please help me

[LIL]

Ok this is going to be kinda long I'm sorry for writing so much. Anyway well my b/f just got back from Honduras on the 21st. Since he been back he phone in his house has not been working and I am on vacation right now in another state so if he wants to talk to me he has to go to his cousins house to use the computer to E-mail me or call me. Well, in the past I treated him pretty bad and didn't show enough respect for him b/c I been through bad relationships and I wanted to see if he would leave me if I would treat him like that. And also I get mad really quick when I talk to him so well actually me and him had a lot to work out and we both know that.

 

Well, then since he come back he talked to me like 3 times almost every day but four days ago he got every mad at me and I have not heard from him ever since. It was like this I have this best friend and while my b/f was in Honduras he didn't talk to me much b/c I was never home or whatever the reason was. So i told my best friend to send and instant message to my b/f friend who is in Honduras cuz my Spanish is very bad and my b/f friend asked my friend what his name was and my friend asked me what he should say and i told him, to say his name was Kenny (a guy my b/f hates a lot cuz he is always trying to mess up our relationship) maybe I did it b/c I wanted him to get mad, and told him to say that if he doesn't talk to me soon I am going to leave him and get with another guy.

 

And when my b/f come back he got really mad and was like see what your friend Kenny did he was really mad and I told him I don't even talk to Kenny no more, but I didn't tell him that it was my friend not Kenny. So like on Wednesday I was trying to work all the problems out between me and my man. My friend Miguel the one who said he was Kenny is a very good person and he knows everything about me and his relationship and he is the one always telling me to calm down and just chill, so I wanted to go to a private chat room with both of them so he could help me work everything out with my man. But when my b/f got into the room he was very mad he was like why the hell are you talking to Kenny and said that I am playing dumb games so he is out.

 

He didn't even listen to me so I couldn't tell him that it was not Kenny and that I just told him to say it was Kenny. And he though it was Kenny cuz the same s/n that talked to his friend in Honduras was there so he got mad. And it wasn't I have not talked to him ever since it has been 4 days now and I am going crazy I mean I miss him like hell I don't know what is wrong or if he is ok or even if he wants to be with me or not. And he has not even went to his cousins house or whatever to e-mail me or talk to him. And since yesterday his phone is working I think I mean finally there is a dial tone when u call but none seems to be home (he doesn't know it;s me when I call b/c I press *67)I am very worried and I even talked to his friend he told me he has not talked to him.

 

I don't know what to do anymore I mean I miss him like hell I cant think about nothing else I cant sleep at night (lol)

 

b/c I don't know where he is or whatever. Please give me some advice I am very upset I don't know what to do anymore. Thanx

[Buckeyegal]

It's not what you want to hear, but I can't blame the guy for getting pissed off and not wanting anything more to do with you. Hopefully you've learned a lesson from this, most times when you play games with another's emotions...like trying to make him jealous with threats of another guy...it'll backfire and bite you in the ass.

 

There's not awhole lot you can do other than to apologize, admit you screwed up, but that doesn't mean he'll be willing to try again. I know I wouldn't, if a guy did something like that to me, he'd be history, who needs immature and deceitful game playing?

Ok this is going to be kinda long I'm sorry for writing so much. Anyway well my b/f just got back from Honduras on the 21st. Since he been back he phone in his house has not been working and I am on vacation right now in another state so if he wants to talk to me he has to go to his cousins house to use the computer to E-mail me or call me. Well, in the past I treated him pretty bad and didn't show enough respect for him b/c I been through bad relationships and I wanted to see if he would leave me if I would treat him like that. And also I get mad really quick when I talk to him so well actually me and him had a lot to work out and we both know that. Well, then since he come back he talked to me like 3 times almost every day but four days ago he got every mad at me and I have not heard from him ever since. It was like this I have this best friend and while my b/f was in Honduras he didn't talk to me much b/c I was never home or whatever the reason was. So i told my best friend to send and instant message to my b/f friend who is in Honduras cuz my Spanish is very bad and my b/f friend asked my friend what his name was and my friend asked me what he should say and i told him, to say his name was Kenny (a guy my b/f hates a lot cuz he is always trying to mess up our relationship) maybe I did it b/c I wanted him to get mad, and told him to say that if he doesn't talk to me soon I am going to leave him and get with another guy. And when my b/f come back he got really mad and was like see what your friend Kenny did he was really mad and I told him I don't even talk to Kenny no more, but I didn't tell him that it was my friend not Kenny. So like on Wednesday I was trying to work all the problems out between me and my man. My friend Miguel the one who said he was Kenny is a very good person and he knows everything about me and his relationship and he is the one always telling me to calm down and just chill, so I wanted to go to a private chat room with both of them so he could help me work everything out with my man. But when my b/f got into the room he was very mad he was like why the hell are you talking to Kenny and said that I am playing dumb games so he is out. He didn't even listen to me so I couldn't tell him that it was not Kenny and that I just told him to say it was Kenny. And he though it was Kenny cuz the same s/n that talked to his friend in Honduras was there so he got mad. And it wasn't I have not talked to him ever since it has been 4 days now and I am going crazy I mean I miss him like hell I don't know what is wrong or if he is ok or even if he wants to be with me or not. And he has not even went to his cousins house or whatever to e-mail me or talk to him. And since yesterday his phone is working I think I mean finally there is a dial tone when u call but none seems to be home (he doesn't know it;s me when I call b/c I press *67)I am very worried and I even talked to his friend he told me he has not talked to him. I don't know what to do anymore I mean I miss him like hell I cant think about nothing else I cant sleep at night (lol) b/c I don't know where he is or whatever. Please give me some advice I am very upset I don't know what to do anymore. Thanx

[Miss Mojo]

hi lil,

 

i hate to say this, but everything that has happened is all your own doing. you can't really expect him to feel any different right now.

 

you wrote:

 

in the past I treated him pretty bad and didn't show enough respect for him b/c I been through bad relationships and I wanted to see if he would leave me if I would treat him like that.

 

common sense dictates that any person with an ounce of self-respect will leave a person who plays head games and treats them with no respect.

 

you achieved what you set out to achieve here. you really can't blame him. to stay with someone who shows you no respect is as crazy as jumping in a pool when you can't swim. you have to find a way out before you really get into trouble.....and what you have done here is cause him a lot of trouble, and now he's out.

 

the only thing i can suggest here is that it would be very beneficial for you to spend some time on your own and really learn to understand why you feel you need to act in such ways, all because you have been treated badly in the past. issues need to be sorted out before you can even consider getting involved with another person again. if these issues are not worked on, you will find yourself repeating the same mistakes over and over, playing games, and continually having bad relationships.

 

other than that, apologise to him for your behaviour, but don't expect him to come running back.....he probably won't be able to trust you properly again.

 

i'm sorry to hear you are so upset, but you need to work on yourself to avoid things like this happening again in the future. i hope you can work things out...mainly the issues that lead you to behave like this, such as insecurity and past relationships/

 

best wishes