I Got The Second Chance - Help

[MissingHerBad]

INTRO

 

I broke up with my gf last year in September. She was quick to move on and found a new love who she claims was "simply a rebound." I tried everything to get her back and basically lived in pain fo over a year.

 

TO DATE

 

Much time has gone by and even though I think about her everyday I was jsut about to make an escape out of this world of misery. Ive had a very successful year and really felt it was time for me to move on even though the only thing I wanted in life was her.

 

In a recent msn convo I had told her everything that had happened the last while including that I had been offered a job in Toronto then msn signed me out. I was strong and just didnt think about it. A couple weeks later I get a Christmas card telling me "I will be missed." That same day I got an email saying don't go. I wanted to see her one last time so on Dec 23 I went to her office. We talked, waled and ended up kissing w/ her asking if I wanted to hang out through Christmas.

 

The next day, Christams Eve, I picked her up and we hit it of 10X more powerful then ever before and I think we really noticed we should be together forever. The only problem... I have someone in my life and she had someone in her life that was even more serious.

 

Here I sit a week later. We've decided to work everything out and break up with our significant others. Unfortunately we had sex to which complicated thing - so theres really no turning back. I dealt with my other and she is still procrastinating ... she really doesnt want to hurt this guys especially around New Years. Is this greedy? Who will she spend New Years with? She hasnt hung out with him once since all of this started - just me. So what gives. I really want this to work and were gonna do everything including councilling if we have to but first we need to clear the air and she just hasnt yet. Should I be more worried then I am or is this just natural to an extent?

[CaliGuy]

That's why you should take things slow and not rush to go right back where you were.

 

Sex complicates a second chance. Now you've gone and cheated on the person you're with, she cheated on the guy she is with and you've got a mess on your hands.

 

Why were you in such a hurry. Take things slow, be friends again, take your time. There's no need to rush in this situation.

 

Slow and steady wins the race, my friend. The fact you both threw your cares into the wind without a thought leads me to believe the second chance will fail if you haven't learned from the past at all.

[MissingHerBad]

Thanks CaliGuy .. I agree w/ you and I think thats something I need to watch and improve on because I, to a certain extent was the one chasing her. Shes been in a long relationship now. I want you to know though that we have talked about everything and my life has changed since the point where we broke up. I understand her needs and just want to be with her ... Its nothing that we rushed into. We actually met up back in October and again ended up spending hours w/ each other and kissing. Now it seems its come around again and we have chemistry I never even imagined possible. Would be a shame to pass it by if I truly believed in it...

[gfto]

Although you say you broke up with her, it sure sounds like she dumped you. When a girl dumps you, don't go back. She'll dump you again. It's clear that you're still completely gone over her. It's not so clear that she feels the same way about you. Be careful here. The fact is that just because an ex has sex with you doesn't mean she has high interest in you again. Consider the possibility that she just wants to see if she's still "got it," and whether she can actually make you change your mind about moving off to this new job. As soon as you two had this miraculous reconnection, you quickly kicked your gf to the curb! But, she's stalling with her current bf. hmmmm. Do what you have to do, but if I were in your shoes, I would've cut contact with her a long long time ago, and stuck with your new (now "ex") girlfriend.