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I don't know who to believe


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anon0301

My boyfriend (34) and I (30) have been friends for 10+ years long distance him US me UK. We fell in love about 3 years before the pandemic and split during Covid as we couldn’t travel overseas. About 18 months later he got back in contact and we picked back up and were so happy. We even started to make plans for me to move to be with him. 

Out of nowhere, I get a message from the girl he was dating whilst we were split up saying that she was really sorry and had no idea, but that he wasn’t being faithful and hadn’t told her we’d gotten back together and that she’d found this out via social media. When we reconciled, all he said about this situation with her was that the relationship was toxic and it ended because she knew he was still in love with me. According to her, she broke it off because of his working situation and not being available enough and quite selfish. 

Everyone loves him and he’s never given me any reason to doubt him before. 

He was the perfect boyfriend. I don’t know who to believe….

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Gebidozo

I don’t see any contradiction between your BF’s and his ex’s statements.

Their combined statement is this: their relationship was toxic, she knew he was still in love with you, he wasn’t available enough and quite selfish to her, so she broke it off.

They are probably both telling the truth.

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basil67

Long distance alone is enough for me to doubt someone's faithfulness.  And the further the distance and the longer the duration, I think the more likely it is that cheating will happen. 

But before worrying about whether or not he's faithful, what's the end game here?  Is the whole relationship even feasible?   Which one of you was planning to move and when will it happen?  Why hasn't it happened already?

 

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BaileyB
Posted (edited)

If I may ask, how much time have you actually spent with him building the relationship in person? 

As was said above, trust is often an issue in a long distance relationship. You haven’t had reason to doubt previously, it’s difficult to know if there is a reason ti doubt now or not. 

Edited by BaileyB
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