Are girls like me who prefer short guys rare?

[LiyB29]

I’m frustrated because I feel like an outlier in the dating world. I am 5’2, mixed race (black and white), with a 6’ tall father and a 5’6 mother, neither who raised me. I was adopted by a woman (who I call mom) and she is 5’9 while my late dad (her late ex husband) was around 5’5-5’6. He was definitely strong, very stocky and was very masculine in a good way. He was also a stud, never had a problem getting the ladies. So my representation of short men was far from bad. 
 

Society tells women that we need tall, strong men to feel feminine. Every short girl I’ve seen loves tall men and prefers men over 6’ because they say it makes them feel smaller, more feminine and they like to be picked up or thrown around (which gives me the ick, sounds like infantilization or like a father/daughter relationship almost). I’ve never understood this.. I hate being short because I get infantilized, no one listens and I’m just seen as cute to people. I like to feel dominant, and men standing over me intimidates me naturally. I’ve been told it’s “a woman’s biology to adore tall men”. I was on Reddit and tried communicating on the short guy subs, only to get hate and some assumed awful things about me. I was told “you only like short guys because it was your last option, you couldn’t get 6’5 chads so you went for the shorter men” which couldn’t be far from the truth. I had a close friend of mine in high school who stood at about 6’4, he had the biggest crush on me, but I wasn’t attracted to him and his height definitely was a factor. Then I met a guy online who I became friends with and he was also about 6’5…he was a giant even in pictures he looked like a titan. He wanted to date me but I also wasn’t attracted to him.  I love short and average height guys. I noticed when I was very young that I adore short, androgynous, feminine men. I even find myself attracted to gay men sometimes. I met the love of my life on Reddit in that short sub ironically. He is 5’9, average height but I’m used to standing next to a 5’9 person since my mom is this height, and my head is to her chin so the height difference isn’t crazy. He has soft features and he is mixed race( Asian and white) as well(which seems to be my preference). I’ve been told that I can’t talk about preferring short men when my bf isn’t short, he’s average height. I love his height because it isn’t intimidating and the difference isn’t too weird looking. My ex was the same height as me (a few centimeters shorter than me), and I found that attractive because I was eye level with him. I’d say I wouldn’t mind dating a guy a few inches shorter than me either!  I can’t seem to find other girls who prefer the same as I do. I feel like men generalize us a lot and it makes me feel weird because I don’t like what “biology” tells me to like.

[Gebidozo]

Well, biologically, human males are taller and bigger than human females. So what? Why should that stop you from liking what you like? Why are you bothered by idiotic online comments and the opinions of people on an issue that is totally a matter of personal preference?

You describe yourself as dominant, and you’re saying you don’t like to be tossed around and such. Well then, seems that short, slender, delicate, fragile, perhaps effeminate guys are exactly the physical type that fits your preferences best. What does it matter what kind of men other women like?

Also, at 5’2, I think it’d be surprising if you went for guys taller than 6 feet. I’m exactly 6 feet tall, and a few of my exes were about 5’2, it’s already quite a big difference. None of them has ever expressed a general preference for even taller guys.

Edited May 24, 2024 by Gebidozo

[Gaeta]

May I ask how old you are?

When I was online dating, most men 5'7'' and under messaged me because of my 5'3''. I really don't get why you say short men are not interested in  you. I am from a world of short women my 2 adult daughters are 5'1''. (20 yo & 36 yo) None of us had a hard time dating. The only one of us that has a problem with her height is my 20 yo. She is from that generation that gives way too much importance to what other people think. It will pass as she matures. 

Just do you, the heck with what people think. 

[stillafool]

Why do you care what other people think?  It doesn't matter if every girl in this world wants a tall guy, you want a short one and that's okay.  Since you're short you should not have any problems getting short guys.  Stay off Reddit and find a short man.

[LiyB29]

55 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

May I ask how old you are?

When I was online dating, most men 5'7'' and under messaged me because of my 5'3''. I really don't get why you say short men are not interested in  you. I am from a world of short women my 2 adult daughters are 5'1''. (20 yo & 36 yo) None of us had a hard time dating. The only one of us that has a problem with her height is my 20 yo. She is from that generation that gives way too much importance to what other people think. It will pass as she matures. 

Just do you, the heck with what people think. 

I am 21 years old. A lot of girls my age care about height.

[LiyB29]

53 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Why do you care what other people think?  It doesn't matter if every girl in this world wants a tall guy, you want a short one and that's okay.  Since you're short you should not have any problems getting short guys.  Stay off Reddit and find a short man.

You’re right. I have my boyfriend and I love him dearly. 

[Gaeta]

47 minutes ago, LiyB29 said:

I am 21 years old. A lot of girls my age care about height.

I'm in my 50s and a lot of women my age care about height but they don't care about what other people think. The height is not the problem, it's the importance you give other people's opinions. 

[LiyB29]

22 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I'm in my 50s and a lot of women my age care about height but they don't care about what other people think. The height is not the problem, it's the importance you give other people's opinions. 

Good point! Yeah I know it’s really stupid to hyper fixated on. My bf has even been told he’s too short when he’s literally the global average. I admit I hyper fixate on things a lot. Haha that’s a thing I brought up to my therapist and now I’m getting checked for ADD.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, LiyB29 said:

I am 21 years old. A lot of girls my age care about height.

I've noticed this too within your age group, why?

[Lotsgoingon]

Hold on. You know you like short guys. Why are you fooling around reading about what "society" thinks. 

That would be like me saying I love steak and lobster, but I realize society has judgmental feelings about s&l, so I'm worried.  No!

You don't need to justify your attraction. There are lots of wonderful short guys out there. Go for it. Quit reading silly threads on this. Do you read threads on your favorite color? Or you favorite outfit? Or your favorite style of shoes? Or your favorite flavor of ice cream? 

Edited May 24, 2024 by Lotsgoingon

[Els]

You'll eventually learn that trying to have serious discussions in such subreddits is a waste of time. Some subreddits can be useful, but generally speaking, relationship and sex subreddits that are strongly skewed male will often be utter and complete pits of whiny circle-jerking.

Anyway, I don't really care about height. I'd probably draw the line at 5'2", but anything above that is good. Most guys are above that, so I've never had to exclude a guy I was interested in based on his height.

[mark clemson]

12 hours ago, LiyB29 said:

I was on Reddit

THAT's your problem right there.

I don't know what % of women prefer short men as a strong preference, but whatever it is you can BET it's a lot higher than whatever the incels and dysfunctional loser types who spam up the relationship chatter on Reddit think.  They all seem to think they know so much about what women want, how they think, etc, but of course the closest they've ever actually gotten to a real woman is their sex doll.

Bottom line, don't listen to the clowns on Reddit when it comes to interpreting how "normal" your own sexuality might/might not be. Just be you.

[FredEire]

I mean there a lot of short guys who'll be really happy that a tall girl is into them So who cares?

I'm 183cm so relatively tall and thankfully not something I ever had to worry about. One of my best friends is probably about 165 and and is settled down now but dated a string of really beautiful girls. I don't think it's as huge a deal as some think it is but it isn't generally a plus for men.

[LiyB29]

3 hours ago, stillafool said:

I've noticed this too within your age group, why?

I’m not sure honestly. I never understood it. From what I hear they want to feel small and safe I guess?

[LiyB29]

3 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

Hold on. You know you like short guys. Why are you fooling around reading about what "society" thinks. 

That would be like me saying I love steak and lobster, but I realize society has judgmental feelings about s&l, so I'm worried.  No!

You don't need to justify your attraction. There are lots of wonderful short guys out there. Go for it. Quit reading silly threads on this. Do you read threads on your favorite color? Or you favorite outfit? Or your favorite style of shoes? Or your favorite flavor of ice cream? 

You’re right! Thank you for this! I guess I just feel too “different” ig. Feels weird ig to not have the same opinions as society. I guess that’s why we are our own people after all!

[LiyB29]

2 hours ago, mark clemson said:

THAT's your problem right there.

I don't know what % of women prefer short men as a strong preference, but whatever it is you can BET it's a lot higher than whatever the incels and dysfunctional loser types who spam up the relationship chatter on Reddit think.  They all seem to think they know so much about what women want, how they think, etc, but of course the closest they've ever actually gotten to a real woman is their sex doll.

Bottom line, don't listen to the clowns on Reddit when it comes to interpreting how "normal" your own sexuality might/might not be. Just be you.

This reply means a lot! Thank you! It made me chuckle

[LiyB29]

27 minutes ago, happyhorizons said:

What do consider to be short?

For a guy? Under 5’9-5’10 I guess? 5’9 is average but I guess some people consider that short because it seems like a huge difference from 6’. I’ve stood next to guys 5’9 and looking at them from my pov it doesn’t seem like a big difference since it’s 7 inches taller than me and I don’t have to jerk my neck up to look at them. I guess I’m more comfortable with that height difference because I’m used to standing in front of my mom and sister who are 5’9-5’11. 

[LiyB29]

Just now, happyhorizons said:

It’s all one’s personal perspective I guess. I’m 6’1 and don’t feel like I am tall so who knows 

You’re tall…haha in what world are you NOT tall? well maybe in Scandinavian countries you’d be average but you’re definitely tall here in America.

[LiyB29]

4 minutes ago, happyhorizons said:

In the NBA that is not tall

The nba is also a huge minority…they make up less than 0.1% of the population. Most men are not 6’8 tall even in Scandinavian countries I think men 6’5+,  still make up the minority.

[Lotsgoingon]

I've dated two women who were taller than I am. Neither of them gave a rat's bottom about it. 

I didn't give a rat's bottom either.  One ex was tall and high-waisted--I used to joke that she was 90 percent legs. When walking along some storefronts, I could catch our reflection in the store windows and see how long her legs were compared to mine. Startling--for about five seconds, and then I was back to just enjoying walking with her. I did ask this woman about how she felt about being taller than me, and she said all the men she had dated had been shorter than she was---so she didn't see anything strange being with a shorter guy. 

OP, you better go for what you want. Tastes change really fast in our society, and next thing you know, short guys will gain some prestige and you'll have more competitors for them.  I have found a strange dynamic. Once I really accept my type, then actually I become more open to other types. Relax and have fun!

 

[justwhoiam]

48 minutes ago, LiyB29 said:

For a guy? Under 5’9-5’10 I guess? 5’9 is average but I guess some people consider that short because it seems like a huge difference from 6’. I’ve stood next to guys 5’9 and looking at them from my pov it doesn’t seem like a big difference since it’s 7 inches taller than me and I don’t have to jerk my neck up to look at them. I guess I’m more comfortable with that height difference because I’m used to standing in front of my mom and sister who are 5’9-5’11. 

A minority of the global male population is taller than 5'9. The average height for a man worldwide is 5'7. I'd consider short any man below 5'4, and average up to 5'7''. Anything beyond that is "tall".

That said, I'm like 5' (up to 5'3 1/2 wearing high heels), my man's 6'. I don't think women want to be childish, I guess most of us are naturally attracted to tall men as that feels healthy. In fact, adults shrink as they age (at least in height, not sure in width!). Also, it looks like opposites attract, so it makes sense.

For the rest, you like what you like. It's a matter of personal taste, as others wrote.

[basil67]

16 hours ago, LiyB29 said:

Society tells women that we need tall, strong men to feel feminine.

I think you're getting your info from a small group of people and thinking they represent a much larger group than they actually do.   All in all, 'society' is far too busy with their own lives to give a toss about the heights of people who others date. 

FWIW, I'm female and nearly an inch taller than my partner.  My 24yo daughter is nearly two inches taller than her boyfriend.  Nobody cares

[Els]

13 hours ago, LiyB29 said:

For a guy? Under 5’9-5’10 I guess? 5’9 is average but I guess some people consider that short because it seems like a huge difference from 6’. I’ve stood next to guys 5’9 and looking at them from my pov it doesn’t seem like a big difference since it’s 7 inches taller than me and I don’t have to jerk my neck up to look at them. I guess I’m more comfortable with that height difference because I’m used to standing in front of my mom and sister who are 5’9-5’11. 

Statistically speaking, in the vast majority of countries, the average male height is less than 5'9", lol. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average_human_height_by_country

Honestly, if we're talking about below 5'9", I'm not even sure how that's a controversial topic. Most men globally are below that height.

Edited May 25, 2024 by Els