mark clemson Posted May 31 Share Posted May 31 On 5/25/2024 at 4:14 PM, Mike321 said: Am I asking for too much? Should I accept that this is what is normal in marriage? You aren't asking for too much, but it's what's normal in YOUR marriage. What exactly is it that bothers her? Can she put her finger on it? I'd suggest making sure your wife feels her needs are met in the marriage, so that this time away is no big deal. For example, maybe a date night 1/week or similar? You can ask what she wants - hopefully she'll communicate it. If it's really just and only that you stop this, then I think she knows at some level it's not a reasonable ask, as she continues to let you do it. MAYBE that's simply how it will be for you two, but hopefully some communication can help address it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 31 Share Posted May 31 20 hours ago, justwhoiam said: I won't address your cursing, as that speaks for itself. You're entitled to form your own assumptions. My question to the OP was related to his preferences in real everyday life if he had to choose. For your information, more than 60% of US couples have sex less than once a week (2020 data). "For chrissakes" is cursing?!? 😂 What, are we in the Spanish Inquisition era? Quote It's not surprising you don't have children. Let me ask you a tough question: if you had to choose between making love with her or playing with your friends, which would you pick and why? Look, your insinuation that the OP apparently doesn't have children because (you think) they aren't having sex wasn't as subtle as you seem to think it is. Hopefully, you're aware that this isn't the 1700s and there's a fantastic new invention called "contraception". 16 hours ago, Gebidozo said: This is one of those cases where the other partner’s interpretation of the situation must be heard It’s impossible to know whether the OP spends quality time with his wife or not, because we don’t know what his wife’s quality requirements are. If it’s only about the quantity of times spent with the wife, then I think most people here agree that the OP isn’t neglecting her quantity-wise and is entitled to his nights out with friends. Yes. If the OP comes back, I think they would do well to attend marriage counseling with their wife, as there seems to be a communication issue going on here re: what the wife needs. I'd think/hope that most people would be fine with their partner seeing their friends for a few hours a week. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted May 31 Share Posted May 31 "I won't address the cursing" seems like a clear enough message, and I don't feel like going into your choice of language. Quote [...] your insinuation that the OP apparently doesn't have children because (you think) they aren't having sex wasn't as subtle as you seem to think it is. Hopefully, you're aware that this isn't the 1700s and there's a fantastic new invention called "contraception". No insinuation, rather intuition, that the guy isn't focusing on the bigger picture or perhaps isn't mature enough to have children. I'll elaborate further: It didn't surprise me at all because when you have children, you need to make time for them, and there was no mention of that anywhere in his posts discussing his free time. I understand how you've linked two topics together (children and sex), but my comment wasn't implying that their lack of children is due to a lack of sexual activity. Intimacy with a partner is much more than having sex. Hence, my comment about not taking the lead with any planning for outings and activities with her, but plenty of planning with his friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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