My [32F] BF [31M] broke up with me because of his depression

[bcwork123]

My ex BF (M31) and I (F32) had been dating for a year and a half. We met a few months after he moved from the UK to NYC and we hit it off. Over the course of his time here, he has suffered from a lot of physical injuries that turned into a lot of depression and anxiety. He's always been a super active person so you can imagine having one injury after another has been really difficult. It has taken a toll on our relationship but even through it all, he would still find time to bring flowers or cook me breakfast. We mostly just didn't go out too much but I didn't mind because I knew this would pass. We had always talked about moving in together in NYC and I had been open to moving back to the UK with him. After having several conversations about it, he ended up breaking up with me because the depression took over and he feels like he can't see beyond anything other than getting himself back to normal and is planning to move back to the UK alone so he can be surrounded by friends/family to get healthy again. It was heartbreaking for the both of us especially when we said we both saw a future and wanted to be together long term. We chatted a little bit here and there (I wanted to make sure mentally he was doing ok) and he had promised we would see eachother when he had gotten back from a trip back home. He never reached out but did send me something in the mail that he said he would get for me when he was home. I reached back out to thank him for the gift i'd asked for and asked if he was avoiding me (who pays to send someone something when they live 20 minutes away??). He basically said he was in such a bad spot and ultimately he still felt like breaking up was the right thing to do. He wants me to move on to find someone who can give me everything I want that he can't currently give me. He promised he wasn't avoiding me and that we would see eachother/have a conversation and for him to grab his stuff. He cancelled twice, went on another trip back home and said he promised he would reach out when he got back. I know he'll be back soon.

For some reason, some of his documents show up on my laptop (we never figured out a way to remove it and both know it's available for us both to see) and saw there was an apartment rental application for NYC so something tells me he may be staying longer and just trying to get himself in a better place mentally so we can get back together in a healthy way. I truly believe he is the one for me and he just needs time to get healthy/find a way to manage his depression. He's always been a great person and always treated me with love and respect and had always been honest and open about how he was feeling so this was something we were working on together but ultimately, he needs to figure out the best way to take care of himself.

I still feel there is hope once he gets a better manage on his depression but as much as he says he wants me to move on and fine peace, I somehow still feel he's avoiding me/avoiding getting his stuff because he doesn't want it to officially end? Thoughts?

[stillafool]

I think that no man tells a woman she should move on with someone else who can give her what he can't if he's still in love with her.  I think what you have is wishful thinking and trying to trick your mind into thinking he still wants to be with you, but his actions and words are saying he doesn't.  It sounds like he is using moving back to the UK and depression as an excuse to break up when he is actually planning on staying in NYC without you.  Him being depressed and needing his family and friends for support would make sense, but also having your including your gf there for support also makes better sense.  Me thinks you are having the wool pulled over your eyes.  You also made this thread before.

[basil67]

I think it's more likely that he wants to end the relationship and is lying to you about moving back home.

[Gebidozo]

7 hours ago, bcwork123 said:

He wants me to move on to find someone who can give me everything I want that he can't currently give me.

OP, I’m sorry, but it’s impossible to be clearer than this. This is what people say when they don’t love you anymore. No man would ever say something like this to a woman he loves.

He broke up with you, he doesn’t regret the breakup, he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

He is not “the one”. As painful as it is, please understand this and start healing.