mark clemson Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 To add - there is, of course, the issue of what "Real Life" things he is/isn't willing to bow out of the group commitment for (assuming that's what's going on here). I would think a new GF traveling 2.5 hours to visit MIGHT (should??) be one of those things. So there's a fair question of what is his priority here... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 You DO have issues with him playing video games. I'm a gamer myself and I'm 60 lol. I recall playing 16 hours at a time in my 40's. There's no way he's going to make you a priority if he's playing that much. I got it out of my system and play occasionally on the weekends. So I suggest you find a new BF that doesn't game. Seriously so what if he's a nice guy....can't have a solid relationship on a guy being nice. Have to consider compatibility, expectations, etc. He isn't fulfilling that and ya it bugs you...I know he ain't gonna change his ways and focus on you if he's always squeezing in game time. Throw him back to the sea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 (edited) 1 hour ago, mark clemson said: I would note that some games nowadays involve teamwork/interactions between fellow players. So, for example if someone is a critical part of a team/league doing a "raid" or similar activity scheduled for a specific time, they might feel they "must" get on at that time or they are letting down a friend group. I agree. I think it would be unreasonable for the OP to expect him to just not show up without any warning. However, presumably he is informed quite far in advance that the OP would be traveling 2.5 hours to spend the weekend with him, so he has plenty of time to tell them that he's not going to show up. The issue here is that he doesn't want to. Replace "video games" with any other friend activity here, and the end result is the same. I don't think anyone would be happy about their partner constantly spending hours with their friends shopping or doing girls' night or whatever during the 2 days a week that they have together, especially if they're spending 5 hours on a return trip to see the partner for those 2 days. It starts to feel like "why do I bother wasting all this time traveling?". Generally the expectation would be that if they're apart for 5 days a week, their partner can spend time with their friends on those 5 days and then reserve the weekend for them. Edited May 30 by Els 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 22 hours ago, Fabulous40 said: 😏I promised myself that yesterday will be the last time I bring it up. He will soon see that I’m serious about how I feel if it happens again. I’m not off doing other things when he comes to my house (unless something out of the norm comes up) so I would like the same treatment/respect. There needs to be some type of compromise. Yes, this sounds like a good idea. If he doesn't respect the time and effort that you put in to travel to him, I think that should be the last time that you do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 12 minutes ago, Els said: Generally the expectation would be that if they're apart for 5 days a week, their partner can spend time with their friends on those 5 days and then reserve the weekend for them. Not to mention the two and a half hour block of time that he can game while she is travelling to his home. Agree, this man has LOTS of time to himself during which he is free to game and socialize with his friends. But, to be in a relationship is to spend time with the other person - if he is consistently choosing gaming over spending time together when you have travelled to spend the weekend with him… that would be a real problem for me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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