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My mom wants part of my inheritance


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lw712856

My sister and I lost our dad recently and were each left an inheritance as well as his new car. We plan to sell the car and split the money 50/50. However, my mom (his ex wife) has a 15 year old car and expected us to give her his car because she needs a new one. She is almost 70 and married to a very wealthy man but he won't buy her anything. So she expected my sister and I to give her the car. We talked about giving her a couple thousand $, but not the car. She was upset about that because when we were teenagers we wrecked one of her cars and she's making it seem like we owe her. It's making me very uncomfortable and anxious. I am a stay at home Mom with 3 kids and my husband works but we are low income and struggling. So if we just give her the car that's a big chunk my sister and I won't get. Is it wrong if we don't give her the car??!! Why would she ask us for a car & not her husband, who is practically a millionaire? 

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basil67
3 hours ago, lw712856 said:

She was upset about that because when we were teenagers we wrecked one of her cars

She took the hit when you two wrecked one of her cars.  So now you take the hit and pay it back to her

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basil67

And as for why she doesn't ask her husband, apparently she's in a financially abusive relationship.   Some people become wealthy precisely because they won't spend any money

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BaileyB
Posted (edited)

Personally, I wouldn’t give her the car. That’s a substantial asset and you can’t afford to give it away. I’m assuming that they had some kind of settlement with the divorce - she should have received half their assets, perhaps spousal support (for a while, if she remarried). I tend to think that he has already given her money - 

It’s sad that she is in a financially abusive relationship but that too was her decision, and she could make another decision to change that too. 

I have a few people in my life who are in similar situations and have a similar entitlement about money. It makes the relationships complex and difficult. 

Edited by BaileyB
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lw712856
1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

Personally, I wouldn’t give her the car. That’s a substantial asset and you can’t afford to give it away. I’m assuming that they had some kind of settlement with the divorce - she should have received half their assets, perhaps spousal support (for a while, if she remarried). I tend to think that he has already given her money - 

It’s sad that she is in a financially abusive relationship but that too was her decision, and she could make another decision to change that too. 

I have a few people in my life who are in similar situations and have a similar entitlement about money. It makes the relationships complex and difficult. 

Actually her and my dad got divorced decades ago. They both remarried and my dad's new wife was the one who left him her money. So really this inheritance is from my stepmom. It is sad that my stepdad won't give her a dime. I agree with you.

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stillafool

I wouldn't give her the car.  It's a parent's responsibility to provide for their kids.  That includes transportation to and from school and work when they are underage.  If you had an accident in her car the insurance would replace it so I don't know why she's putting the burden on you two.  Also your sweet stepmom left the money and car to you guys.  I doubt she wants her husband's ex to end up with it.  Your mom should divorce her cheap husband and get what is owed to her through divorce.  There's no good reason for her to stay with him.

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Posted (edited)

I agree, I don't think you owe your parents for things that they gave you when you were a minor - it's their responsibility to provide for you until you turn 18, she signed up for this when she chose to have you. So if you wrecked her car when you were a teenager, you don't owe her a car back. On the other hand, if the car wrecking happened when you were 30 or something, then yeah, I'd say you do owe her.

It's unfortunate that she's in a financially abusive relationship, but again that is the choice she made. I wouldn't give her the car, however as a gesture of compassion I'd offer to help pay for a lawyer if she's willing to leave him.

Edited by Els
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justwhoiam

Hi,

How much do you think you could get for your dad's car?

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