MIAho Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 A few months ago, I rejoined Bumble and matched with a woman who lived nearby. It started promisingly with a steady series of dates. Over time, we grew closer, and dating for 5 months. But, when it came time for me to progress the relationship with her, I got felt nervous and avoided doing it. Also, around this time, I started dealing with stress from my job, which triggered social anxiety and depression, which she didn't know about. Last February, she suddenly started acting distant. Her texts became sporadic, lukewarm and she made no mentions about wanting to see me again. During a trip to Florida, she didn't even contact me during or after the trip. When I returned, I confronted her about her recent distance and she admitted that the romantic and passionate connection she hoped for didn't develop and she broke up with me. After the breakup, the stress intensified to the point, where I started having panic attacks and developed stomach issues that became so bad that I had to go on medical leave from work. I later learned that I have Anxiety, which explains why I not only struggled to be open with her but also why most of my relationships seems to fail. Since I've been in therapy, I've learned a lot about myself and how to control my anxiety. I still have feelings for this woman and I really thought that we had the potential for a long-term relationship, if only it wasn't for my anxiety. I've even thought about contacting her to explain myself and see if there's a possibility of us reconnecting. Some of my friends think that I shouldn't. They think that her reasons for ending were clear and it would only make me look bad, but my therapist disagrees with this and thinks that sending her one final note explaining my situation and suggestion the possibility of a discussion might be helpful. What do you think I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 (edited) I know this isn't your question, but it appears that anxiety is preventing you from making a decision. As it currently stands, between your therapist and your friends, you've gotten good advice for different options, but you're now asking for even more opinions. If you can't make this fairly simple decision on your own, then are you really ready to be reaching out? I think not. Edited May 30 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIAho Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 1 hour ago, basil67 said: I know this isn't your question, but it appears that anxiety is preventing you from making a decision. As it currently stands, between your therapist and your friends, you've gotten good advice for different options, but you're now asking for even more opinions. If you can't make this fairly simple decision on your own, then are you really ready to be reaching out? I think not. Tiebreaker??? Lol. I see your point 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 31 Share Posted May 31 Weigh up the consequences of your choice. At best, she'll give you another shot. At worst, she'll ignore you to tell you to take a hike. Or middling, she will congratulate you on your progress but not want to try again. If you can survive the worst case outcome, what have you got to lose? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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