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robaday

I have a newish role and since I began I sensed something was off with a colleague. Since I started I have reached out to the co-worker on several occasions as I need his input to do my job, and most of the time it is just ignored. I say hi to him in the morning and he looks at something else. I wouldn't care so much if I didn't respect his professional experience and want to work with him. But the backstabbing comments I have heard behind my back about my work (no one has broached it directly with me, despite me asking for feedback) from him, all point to a real issue on his part. I basically can't do my job without some level of collaboration with him, but by him blocking any request for assistance, I am increasingly looking quite idiotic by my lack of knowledge in the area I am working in. What can I do to address it? I have reflected on my early interactions and perhaps I accidentally did offend him or something but if I did I have no idea what it might have been and I've tried to be as humble and respectful as I can be since. 

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justwhoiam

If your work performance is affected by his lack of collaboration, and you necessarily need his input but he won't provide it, you need to talk to your manager or the boss directly. I don't see any other solution.

Clearly let them know that you can't chase after him or beg him to collaborate. He's not a team player, and they need to know about it.

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mark clemson
Posted (edited)

Have you talked to your boss about it?  If you're asking for things you need to do your job and not receiving them when you need them, that's an issue.  If it were me, I believe I would strongly consider discussing the issue with my boss and providing "evidence" e.g. emails that you sent but were never responded to + explaining their impact on your work.

Having a good relationship with your boss makes discussions like this go much easier. Ideally, one's boss supports one and makes sure everyone can get their job done, and this person realizes you are not a pushover who they can easily manipulate into looking bad and so ceases to ignore your requests. The world is not always ideal, but hopefully that would happen IF you chose to approach things this way.

I would note that there may be reasons for this sort of thing beyond "personality" - for example the person may worry they are going to be laid off if you are newer and "less expensive" and your work is just as good. This and similar worries can certainly become a real issue for folks.

Edited by mark clemson
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