Should I Let My Girlfriend Know I Saw Her Cash App Purchases From Out of Town?

[Tull Anderson]

I helped set up my girlfriend's cash app card and she doesn't know, but her purchases come to my phone on an email I created for her.

The past two weekends she made purchases from out of town in a neighboring state about 3 hours away. She did not answer my calls or texts for most of the day. Last weekend, when she finally did, she said she was very stressed and worried about her half -sister who was really sick, and that she was at her brother's place and the phone didn't pick up. I thought maybe there was a glitch or an explanation for the out-of-state cash app purchase. Such as loaning the card to someone or incorrect address. 

However, This weekend there were three more purchases from out of town, leading me to believe it is accurate. When she finally texted back after 24 hours, she said her sister was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and that is why she didn't feel like talking because she was really worried about the father. I do know her sister is sick and probably could truly have cancer, but I am unaware of any of her family living 3 hours away. When I talk to her again I am going to ask her where she was.

My question is should I give up the evidence and let her know I see her cash app purchases from out of town? This of course will depend on what she tells me when I ask where she was.

Or, if she lies should I just tell her I am breaking up with her because she didn't answer my calls for over 24 hours? I know it sounds like I should break up with her but I really want to know where she went to and why, and if there is some crazy explanation for the cash app card purchases,  besides cheating. Once I disclose that I see her cash app purchases I believe it will all go downhill real fast.

Thanks everyone for your advice. Something tells me this is an easy one.

[FMW]

44 minutes ago, Tull Anderson said:

she doesn't know, but her purchases come to my phone on an email I created for her.

If I found out my boyfriend did this, I would break up with him, he wouldn't have to worry about whether or not he should break up with me.

You clearly don't trust her, and you didn't when you set up her account this way, prior to seeing the out of town purchases.  Whether or not she gave you reason to doubt her before, and whether or not she's hiding something from you now, there's no way to have a good relationship when there is no trust.  

46 minutes ago, Tull Anderson said:

Something tells me this is an easy one.

Yes, it is.  

[stillafool]

I think you should come clean to her that you've been tracking her, snooping and know where she's been.  Then get ready for a break up because you invaded her privacy.

[basil67]

You're tracking her purchases without her permission?  Your behaviour is abusive

[NuevoYorko]

Why are you feeling justified in abusing her privacy like this?

[Tull Anderson]

Wow, you're all attacking me for abusive, snooping behavior?

So to be clear, I didn't set up her cash app to track her. I was doing her a favor. 

The unintended consequence was her notifications came to my phone since I set up her gmail. I did know this but did not say anything, so now I see how this is a problem.

I could have told her that her notifications came to my phone. I'm sorry I offended so many. This wasn't a problem until she ignored me for 2 days and then I did snoop. It is what it is. 

[basil67]

I'm not sure why you think we're offended.  We're just pointing out that receiving someone's data without their permission is unacceptable behaviour.  

[Gebidozo]

7 hours ago, Tull Anderson said:

Something tells me this is an easy one.

It is, indeed. You’re completely in the wrong. You don’t trust your own girlfriend and you’ve been doing this card thing behind her back, basically controlling and spying on her without her knowledge or consent.

Tell her the truth, apologize, and start working on rebuilding trust.

Edited June 2, 2024 by Gebidozo