HokeyReligions Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Hi Blue, I know the turmoil you are all going through. You can call the hospital right now and ask for Hospice information. Hospice is 24/7. My mom is in hospice care right now - we kept being told by nurses and even some doctors that hospice was only for the very end--like a few days before, but the reality is that some people are in hospice care for years and some choose to leave hospice when they have stablized. I'm taking my mom out of hospice care and moving her back home with us under regular nursing care next month. You can talk to social services in the hospital and get the living will / medical treatment (can't think of the term right now) forms signed and witnessed right there in the hospital. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluechocolate Posted January 4, 2006 Author Share Posted January 4, 2006 Hi Blue, You can talk to social services in the hospital and get the living will / medical treatment (can't think of the term right now) forms signed and witnessed right there in the hospital. Hi Hoke I've been having a look around that link that BigBelm posted. Hospice care definitely sounds like the way to go (in a manner of speaking!). Funny you mention social services. Mom got them involved back in April when he was first admitted as a result of the problem with his esophagus, which has lead to this crisis. She felt that she needed an objective opinion, from outside the medical industry, to understand what rights he had. Imagine what it must be like for those people who have no one to speak for them! I'm taking my mom out of hospice care and moving her back home with us under regular nursing care next month. Good luck with that! p.s. How are all those crazy dogs you have?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Hospice is fabulous. I've had many experiences with folks in different regions, and I have nothing but good things to say. We had an experience where my father was in a car accident and physically incapacitated so that he ended up in a nursing home. He was also psychotic off an on. He just stopped eating. No one knew if he was dying or so mentally ill he didn't realize he wasn't eating. Either way he was dying. We called Hospice, and even though they, too, were baffled by his case, they were extremely patient and helpful in answering our questions and helping us decide what to do. We had to decide whether or not to force feed him. While this seems like an obvious decision, it was complicated because if he was truly dying, hydrating and feeding can actually prolong the process, from what we were told, and make the dying worse. My research indicated this was true. Having said all this, I will have to tell you that even though Hospice examined him and gave him two weeks, saying they'd never been wrong before, the man is still alive and mostly lucid two years later. He was mentally ill, which was exacerbated by lack of nutrition. If WE had not advocated for him, he'd have died. Hospice folks visited him regularly during that whole time and added another level of care beyond what we could do. When it was obvious he was going to make it, they withdrew amicably. We can call on them again with no problem. Your mother sounds completely overwhelmed. One of the things you could do is call Hospice and set things in motion. It would be helpful to her as well as to your uncle. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 my father was in the same situation as your uncle except he was in a coma. the choice was the hardest thing my brothers and i ever faced and at least he was in a coma. if he asked not to be taken off, we wouldnt have because we didnt want him to die either. i am sorry that your family has to go thru this and i will pray for your mother. this is very unfair that your mother has to make these decisions when she loves him and doesnt want him to die however there is nothing that can be done. you should pray for a sign also, perhaps a miracle that makes him better or a miracle that makes it easier to do what has to be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Hey blue, sorry to hear about all the turmoil going on in your life lately. Yeah, that doc needs some serious help with his bedside manner. As many of you may already know, my XW and I had to make the decision to take our newborn daughter off life support almost 2 years ago. While it was possible that they could have kept out daughter alive for some time with life support, there was no hope of recovery. And the extended use of the respirators was causing damage to other organs, such as her kidneys. She was in the early stages of kidney failure after 11 days when we made the decision to turn off life support. While I disagree with the manner the doctor presented the situation, it might have been an issue such as this. This situation is never an easy one. There are no guarantees. There is a possibility of recovery if you turn off life support and the possibility that death will still occur with life support. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluechocolate Posted January 5, 2006 Author Share Posted January 5, 2006 It looks like the situation has resolved itself, if only for a short time. Now the hospital is surprised at how he has rallied! They're talking about discharging him soon, though he'll still need care. We've found a nursing home in the area with a hospital attached to it. That way when the next crisis comes, which they say is inevitable, it will only be a trip down the hall rather than ambulances searching for an available bed in an ICU ward somewhere. And anyway, the decision has been made that when the next crisis comes he won't be put on all that life support, but will be allowed to die peacefully & without pain. Thanks again, all of you. I'll keep you posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I'm still hoping you'll report that physician to his medical association. This rally is the very reason that man shouldn't be permitted to continue in his practice unimpeded - he has no right to make life or death judgements about conscious, alert humans, or any humans for that matter. There are, doubtless, people under his care right now who don't have relatives handy whose lives he may be terminating in his certainty that he is able to predict outcomes with Godlike accuracy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluechocolate Posted January 5, 2006 Author Share Posted January 5, 2006 I'm still hoping you'll report that physician to his medical association. This rally is the very reason that man shouldn't be permitted to continue in his practice unimpeded - he has no right to make life or death judgments about conscious, alert humans, or any humans for that matter. There are, doubtless, people under his care right now who don't have relatives handy whose lives he may be terminating in his certainty that he is able to predict outcomes with Godlike accuracy. I know - was thinking the same thing. Imagine those poor souls who don't have anyone to speak on their behalf?! Mom has power of attorney with my Uncle so ultimately it is up to her to decide where to go from here. We spoke at length yesterday & I know she just wants to have a rest from it all right now, so I'm not bringing it up again until she's ready. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluechocolate Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 Update - my uncle died last Thursday, the funeral was yesterday. Strange hospital - after getting well enough to get out of the ICU & start breathing on his own, he developed pneumonia and they wanted to do a biopsy on each of his lungs. This is the same hospital who was encouraging my mother to take him off life support just a few weeks ago - now they want to do a biopsy! The decision was made that there would be no biopsies, no life support & plenty of pain killers so he could die without pain. He has had a very rough time over the past 8 months with no chance of recovery. I'm happy he's out of the worn out body now. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 What a way to go. I pray for a quick ending. Hardest on the ones you leave behind. Hope your Mom is holding up okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Blue: I'm sorry for your loss. Your mom is a lucky gal to have you there for support. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluechocolate Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 Blue: I'm sorry for your loss. Your mom is a lucky gal to have you there for support. Thank you. What a way to go. I pray for a quick ending. Hardest on the ones you leave behind. Hope your Mom is holding up okay. I'm pretty sure Mom will be fine. His dying really is a blessed relief (and I don't mean that in a callous way). I'm still hoping you'll report that physician to his medical association. She did say after the funeral that she wasn't finished with that doctor - so God help him! My Mother certainly is a force to be reckoned with when she gets going. At the time I think that it would have been one too many battles for her. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 So sorry, Blue. I'm kinda sad because I loved your uncle's feisty spirit… by the way you described him. And it sounds as if you're Mom has inherited a little bit of that fire too. Must run in the family! Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Thanks for the update, Blue. Condolences and blessings to your family. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I'm glad that the Powers That Be gave him relief and removed the necessity for humans to make that choice on his behalf. You'll miss him, but know he went in peace and not because some moron physician decided his life should end against his wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
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