Mixed signals? delusion? stupid? lol

[NuevoYorko]

14 minutes ago, Gulf-Delta said:

read other posts of mine in this thread. also, im not sure why everyone in this thread things people are psychics or something

What does that even mean?   

Whether you believe, or approve of it or not:  people take to other people, or else they do not, and a lot of the time it's because of a general feeling.  

Nobody needs to be a "psychic."

I'm close to twice your age and I have quite a bit of experience in the world of relationships.   I went through a period where I was questioning myself about not continuing to see people who were "good on paper," had no obvious red flags, but I just was not feeling it.   So, I tried to hang in there more with a couple of them.  

Nope. For me, this was not going to work.

It's called "chemistry" and many of us are not going forward without it.

In your case, from the way you post, it's very obvious that you will be exhibiting behaviors which many WILL find to be "red flags."

Go ahead and argue, refute, insult, etc - it doesn't matter to me a bit.  It SHOULD matter to you.  If it did, you might be in a place where you'd be teachable and open to LEARNING about what you, yourself, have control over which is standing in your way.

Unfortunately, what none of us have any control over is whether someone else finds us attractive, compatible and compelling enough to consider a relationship with.  

[flitzanu]

@Gulf-Delta i'm not trying to encourage any bad thinking, but i understand how defeating it feels when you think you found something good and it flops.  i highly romanticize things and can relate and sympathize with some of your reactions here because when you have a certain standard you like, it can be difficult to find people in that zone, i get it.

i think the underlying thing most (of us) would encourage is....just....slow down a bit.  your initial feeling is to dive in, that's fine, though it will help ease some of the pain of rejection if you just try to not let your brain invest so much into these situations.  easier said than done, obviously.  

also...who knows, maybe this girl sucks.  maybe she has terrible taste in men.  maybe she's a complete trainwreck and you dodged a bullet by not getting involved with her.  

you crossed paths at your church, and are both seemingly involved and active in church groups...maybe the universe has a different story for the two of you that is yet to unfold, and maybe the universe never intended you to have a romantic relationship.

[Gulf-Delta]

4 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

What does that even mean? 

In your case, from the way you post, it's very obvious that you will be exhibiting behaviors which many WILL find to be "red flags."

Go ahead and argue, refute, insult, etc - it doesn't matter to me a bit.  It SHOULD matter to you.  If it did, you might be in a place where you'd be teachable and open to LEARNING about what you, yourself, have control over which is standing in your way.

buddy, no offense, seriously. but you dont know me. this is text on a computer screen about a specific situation, you could live 1000 miles away from me. you dont know anything about what behaviors i exhibit, and i think it would be quite POISONOUS if i took this kind of thing to heart from a person on the internet i will never meet

 

youre nearly 70 years old, and you put this much stock in what you read about a narrow part of someone's life on a website? and you think your opinion on the same forum should be taken to heart?

[basil67]

15 minutes ago, Gulf-Delta said:

it does if youve never had one before

Sure, it may mean something to you, but it means nothing in the grand scheme of things.  

Quote

this is the opposite of what professional therapists say. the FIRST time i saw my therapist, he told me to try to let go of the idea that my "self" is reliant other's perception of me. my goodness being conditional on what others think is a root of a lot of my problems. months ago i would spiral because i felt defective because no woman wants me. i had a horrid couple of nights about this once, it was the first tihng i brought up in therapy and was told "your value is not dependent on what others think of you."

i felt exactly like you feel. how can i feel like a good man if no one else is confirming that...and i was told that if you dont feel good wnough as a person, you need to fake it till you make it, kind of thing.

I've suggested a number of times that perhaps you should take this problem to your therapist.  Discuss how your high hopes and confidence has been shattered over something you cannot control

Quote

well, i guess you'll make me say it, the girl i went on the date with was the "bit weird looking" one. i feel bad saying it because she was beautiful to me, but she wasnt like a "traditionally pretty" type. she was very cute and plain. i have talked to some of the other more "attractive" or "hot" girls at church, but for various reasons, depending on the girl, i wasnt interested in dating them.

.........im not saying she had to fall in love with me right then and there, but the conversation was good, we were laughing, listening, open with each other, etc. if thats not a "connection", then what is? if you didnt feel connected, why was there so much comfort, why are you laughing at my jokes, why are you telling me you like this or that about me, etc?

Good for you not limiting yourself to the beautiful women.   As for the date, the bolded can all happen in a friendship or a brief connection.  And of course she wouldn't fall in love with you then and there, but she needed to feel that certain X factor which makes her want to kiss you and keep having dates with you.   

You know, if she had kept seeing you for, say, five more dates to see if there was something worth persuing, you would have been getting more and more excited about the prospect of success....while she was like "meh...I guess I could give him another chance".   It would have been greatly misleading on her part.

Edited June 12 by basil67

[Gulf-Delta]

10 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Sure, it may mean something to you, but it means nothing in the grand scheme of things.  

I've suggested a number of times that perhaps you should take this problem to your therapist.  Discuss how your high hopes and confidence has been shattered over something you cannot control

Good for you not limiting yourself to the beautiful women.   As for the date, the bolded can all happen in a friendship or a brief connection.  And of course she wouldn't fall in love with you then and there, but she needed to feel that certain X factor which makes her want to kiss you and keep having dates with you.   

You know, if she had kept seeing you for, say, five more dates to see if there was something worth persuing, you would have been getting more and more excited about the prospect of success....while she was like "meh...I guess I could give him another chance".   It would have been greatly misleading on her part.

im fairly confident that after 5 dates, where i could really show who i am, she'd probably want to marry me. or after 5 dates, i could find something about her that was a dealbreaker. my point was, neither one of us will get to find out

im joking/exaggerating obviously, but what i mean is, if there was ever going to be a "connection" or some kind of romantic thing with anyone, jeez you have to give it more time than one hour. for me, i just couldnt see meeting someone for an hour and making a judgement about their character, heart, if they would be a good partner, spouse, etc. etc.

the "x factor" can grow, i know because its happened to me. maybe im weird, but i feel like if youre looking for a real actual connection with somebody, looking for real relationships (as opposed to flings or what have you) you gotta give it more than an hour. if your goal was to find a husband as a single lady, wouldnt you want to give it time to determine who they actually ARE as a person. how deep can you scratch the surface after 1 hour?

 

idk, maybe im crazy, but if i ask someone on a date, i see potential. and id feel compelled to put in quite sometime and actually learn about them before discarding the possibility.

Edited June 12 by Gulf-Delta

[basil67]

4 minutes ago, Gulf-Delta said:

im fairly confident that after 5 dates, where i could really show who i am, she'd probably want to marry me.

Perhaps you're joking.  Perhaps you're trolling.  Perhaps you're out of control arrogant.   But whatever it is, I'm done here

[Gulf-Delta]

4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Perhaps you're joking.  Perhaps you're trolling.  Perhaps you're out of control arrogant.   But whatever it is, I'm done here

um...ok? wtf. thanks i guess...? sorry i offended you? or something?

 

now im just freaking confused

Edited June 12 by Gulf-Delta

[Gulf-Delta]

44 minutes ago, flitzanu said:

@Gulf-Delta i'm not trying to encourage any bad thinking, but i understand how defeating it feels when you think you found something good and it flops.  i highly romanticize things and can relate and sympathize with some of your reactions here because when you have a certain standard you like, it can be difficult to find people in that zone, i get it.

i think the underlying thing most (of us) would encourage is....just....slow down a bit.  your initial feeling is to dive in, that's fine, though it will help ease some of the pain of rejection if you just try to not let your brain invest so much into these situations.  easier said than done, obviously.  

also...who knows, maybe this girl sucks.  maybe she has terrible taste in men.  maybe she's a complete trainwreck and you dodged a bullet by not getting involved with her.  

you crossed paths at your church, and are both seemingly involved and active in church groups...maybe the universe has a different story for the two of you that is yet to unfold, and maybe the universe never intended you to have a romantic relationship.

you make good points. the thing is, i got invested so fast because something like this is so rare for me, so when i does happen, i cant help but to get excited

[Acacia98]

1 hour ago, Gulf-Delta said:

read other posts of mine in this thread. also, im not sure why everyone in this thread things people are psychics or something

I don't get that at all.

But I have to say, as a general rule, if a good number of people are interpreting your words/actions a particular way, then it's just possible they have a point. It wouldn't hurt to take a break from defending yourself and just listen to what they're saying.

Btw, I stand by my first post in this thread: she was never really that interested in you. She felt flattered by the attention she was getting from you. So I can't say I was surprised she came on one date and then that was it.

And having said that, it doesn't automatically follow that there was something wrong with you. She just wasn't interested enough to pursue things further in the same way that you aren't interested enough to pursue things with many of the attractive and accomplished women you meet. 

Rejection is a very normal part of dating. The more you put yourself outside there and ask people out, the more rejections you will experience. Just ask anyone here who has had success dating. The key is to frame the experience as a positive thing: you're getting practice dating and interacting with women. The more practice you get, the better you get at reading people and the less intimidating the process becomes. Also, you get the chance to figure out if you're doing something wrong and to learn to do it better.

I was going to actually suggest that you join a Christian singles site and go out on dates with various women. Just take the time to meet over a meal or something, chat, and go your separate ways. Don't limit yourself to dating women you find super-attractive. The point is to get comfortable getting to know different people in low-stakes situations.

[Acacia98]

15 hours ago, goldengirls said:

THIS 100%!!! 
From reading these posts I can not tell you are a Christian one bit.  
You have a self loathing negative mindset and use foul language.  
none of how you are talking sounds Christian at all.  
 

I assume the reason she didn’t feel a connection is because she spotted this immediately.  
I’m also going to assume your level of Christianity and her level are completely different and she seeks someone more on her level.  Someone who isn’t dealing with traumas and needs to heal from past issues and addictions.  She needs someone who is already healed, who can be a leader for her and a future family.  She wants a man to lead and until you get a grasp on your negativity and past issues/trauma you are in no shape to lead her anywhere.  
you should take a break from any dating until you heal yourself or you will just drag someone else down with it.  
She mentions community things to gauge how much you are involved with the community already, as most Christian women do.  
While she might be attracted to you, she is doing the right thing by staying away.  You have a lot of work you need to do first before seeking a Christian like her.  If she’s working at the church she probably is very dedicated to her Christian values.  You seem very dedicated to yourself and all the bad things that happen in your life. 
 

I thought the whole point of Christianity was to be welcoming to everybody, whatever their flaws and shortcomings. Isn't the idea that all are sinners?

As for the woman he liked, none of us met her or knows her. So it's not particularly helpful to put her on a pedestal. Maybe she has her own personal struggles. Maybe she felt insecure. Maybe she hasn't quite recovered from her last break-up. 

[Gulf-Delta]

3 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

And having said that, it doesn't automatically follow that there was something wrong with you. She just wasn't interested enough to pursue things further in the same way that you aren't interested enough to pursue things with many of the attractive and accomplished women you meet. 

its very different for men and women. if any of these supposed attractive and accomplished women i might meet asked me on a date, i would give it more than an hour to see if there was a connection. the men are not the sexual selectors of the species, women are. ive never met an attractive or accomplished woman that i wouldnt give my time to, if she asked.

 

example, i met a girl at church who was gorgeous. we talked and hit it off. she was a chemical engineer. but her schedule never wouldve worked with mine (she gets up at 4:30 AM every day). so i never bothered to try to see her again. but if she asked me for my number or something, i would have tried.

what im saying is, the "not interested" thing isnt a thing for me. im not pursuing women because i dont have options TO pursue. i dont have a line of women at my door. i have to capitalize on whoever i happen to stumble on

 

7 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

was going to actually suggest that you join a Christian singles site and go out on dates with various women. Just take the time to meet over a meal or something, chat, and go your separate ways. Don't limit yourself to dating women you find super-attractive. The point is to get comfortable getting to know different people in low-stakes situations.

that doesnt work for guys like me. im not a really handsome guy, i am hovering around average on a good day. im not one of those guys who just has a billion options and can just get women to go on dates with him...i would totally do what you say if that was an option that was available to me, but thats just not a thing. you cant just "go on dates"

[Acacia98]

2 minutes ago, Gulf-Delta said:

its very different for men and women. if any of these supposed attractive and accomplished women i might meet asked me on a date, i would give it more than an hour to see if there was a connection. the men are not the sexual selectors of the species, women are. ive never met an attractive or accomplished woman that i wouldnt give my time to, if she asked.

 

example, i met a girl at church who was gorgeous. we talked and hit it off. she was a chemical engineer. but her schedule never wouldve worked with mine (she gets up at 4:30 AM every day). so i never bothered to try to see her again. but if she asked me for my number or something, i would have tried.

what im saying is, the "not interested" thing isnt a thing for me. im not pursuing women because i dont have options TO pursue. i dont have a line of women at my door. i have to capitalize on whoever i happen to stumble on

 

that doesnt work for guys like me. im not a really handsome guy, i am hovering around average on a good day. im not one of those guys who just has a billion options and can just get women to go on dates with him...i would totally do what you say if that was an option that was available to me, but thats just not a thing. you cant just "go on dates"

You really are going out of your way to miss the point, though. The point that I'm trying to make is that, even if the people we meet are attractive in one way or another, if we had the opportunity to date them all, we would ultimately have to rule most of them out, whether it took one date or five dates to do so. The fact of the matter is that someone may be the wrong fit for you but the right fit for somebody else. So rejection is not a death sentence. 

You have the capacity to improve your situation if you actually want to do it. As plenty of folks before me have pointed out, therapy would help you tremendously, as would a radical mindset change.

On the whole, I think you're way too defensive and committed to viewing yourself the way you view yourself. It would help if you were willing to see yourself more objectively, from a third-person perspective. But if you're not quite ready to do that yet, take a break from posting about your situation and focus on reading others' threads about their difficulties dating or struggles with rejection.

[NuevoYorko]

4 hours ago, Gulf-Delta said:

buddy, no offense, seriously. but you dont know me. this is text on a computer screen about a specific situation, you could live 1000 miles away from me. you dont know anything about what behaviors i exhibit, and i think it would be quite POISONOUS if i took this kind of thing to heart from a person on the internet i will never meet

Hm.   What are you doing here on this site then?

[Gulf-Delta]

3 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

Hm.   What are you doing here on this site then?

adivce and perspective that i can filter through the lens of my own experience and life and feelings. or vice versa. same reason anyone is here

 

what started as "do you think this girl likes me" turned into a party of a bunch of strangers giving me character judgements and trying to tell me how to feel, making assumptions about me, etc.

[Gebidozo]

47 minutes ago, Gulf-Delta said:

what started as "do you think this girl likes me" turned into a party of a bunch of strangers giving me character judgements and trying to tell me how to feel, making assumptions about me, etc.

Well, you needed to know why this girl didn’t like you. And we needed to understand you better and then explain to you why she didn’t like you. So of course we had to give you character judgment. You’re arrogant, self-entitled, unromantic, and ungrateful. Probably also with a violent temper, judging by your posts. That’s why she doesn’t like you. 

If you want women to like you, try to become more likable. Get some therapy and spiritual healing. Work on getting rid of your unattractive traits that I described above.

[SurfCity]

8 hours ago, Gulf-Delta said:

i feel like i have these qualities, and i end up missing out on opportuinties because of some superficial thing i might have said or did. im more than just what i look like on the outside, i get pissed that no woman seems to be interested in even finding out. i get frustrated at dating because people want to bail at the first sign of something not being perfect.

How did you come to this conclusion when you've literally asked out one woman in your entire life? Are you expecting women to ask you out? My suspicion is that you're just repeating what you've read on incel sites because you're guessing that that would be your experience too if you had tried to date.

You're frustrated about something that you've experienced ONCE a couple of days ago, but you're building it up in your mind to be something that happens to you over and over again. You're working yourself up into an angry and negative state over one date that didn't pan out. Your response is not proportional to what has actually happened. You can't take on other people's experiences and frustrations as your own. 

[SurfCity]

6 hours ago, Gulf-Delta said:

example, i met a girl at church who was gorgeous. we talked and hit it off. she was a chemical engineer. but her schedule never wouldve worked with mine (she gets up at 4:30 AM every day). so i never bothered to try to see her again.

For me, that wouldn't be a reason to turn down a potential romantic match. Clicking with someone and experiencing chemistry with someone is so rare, that I wouldn't let an early schedule be the reason that I walked away.

But you did, and that's your prerogative, but can you see how it's hypocritical to complain about not getting chance after chance with any particular woman when you didn't even want to try with this woman because she had an early schedule?

You're moaning and complaining about not getting a second and third chance from the woman that you just went on a date with, but you didn't even give this chemical engineer ONE chance because of something as minor as her schedule. 

Edited June 12 by SurfCity

[Gulf-Delta]

6 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

You’re arrogant, self-entitled, unromantic, and ungrateful. Probably also with a violent temper, judging by your posts. 

nothing i posted would indictate any of this. im not sure how much internet addiction someone would need to suffer to think they can apply such labels to a person based on "posts", but jeez. imagine being like this over your ego getting a tiny bruise, i thought maybe i was the damaged one here, but someone always has it worse, i guess

 

5 hours ago, SurfCity said:

How did you come to this conclusion when you've literally asked out one woman in your entire life? Are you expecting women to ask you out? My suspicion is that you're just repeating what you've read on incel sites because you're guessing that that would be your experience too if you had tried to date.

iv only asked out one woman, but its about my interactions with them as a whole. but in my life, ive had lots of female acquaintances, co-workers, friends, friends of friends and so on. 0 women, in my whole life have viewed me sexually or romantically. ive had one girlfriend in my early 20s, and she only wanted to be with me to use me. i just dont stick out "that way" to women. its not an isolated thing,, its been women all in my life.

 

im not EXPECTING women to ask me out, it would be nice to have that knowledge that hey, someone out there sees me as more than just a friend. i dont know what an incel site is, and i dont think i wanna know, im just making this based guess based on my experiences and experiences of people i know. it would just be nice, even just for the feeling of it, to have a woman be interested in me. the way i thought about dating sometimes is, if women like guys, they will make time to be around them or ask him out or whatever. if i have to be the one to ask, or bring up the "more than friends" conversation, they probably arent interested. so then what is actually the point of asking? for exmaple with this recent girl...i just asked her out, she didnt give me any particular indication she wanted that, i ust went on a limb. if she did like me, she would have made it known, so why bother asking?

4 hours ago, SurfCity said:

For me, that wouldn't be a reason to turn down a potential romantic match. Clicking with someone and experiencing chemistry with someone is so rare, that I wouldn't let an early schedule be the reason that I walked away.

well sure, there could have been something there, but i feel like in order to find that out, you have to get to know the person more. but interacting with them for longer than and hour or so at a bible study, right? it wasnt so much "oh she gets up too early for me", it was "this person has a totally different schedule than me, i cant imagine a time or place where i would cross their path, let alone get to talk to her again". the initialy chemistry of our conversation wasnt bad, but it wasnt amazing fireworks either. i was just a normal conversation i guess,, that i started to get over the kind of "fear" or anxiety i have of meeting strangers.

as far as clicking and chemistry, i personally think that has to grow over time, with exposure and seeing each other often. i could be wrong, but personally, thats the only way ive seen any relationship happen. for example, the girl that dated me to use me, i only fell for her because she would constantly show up at parties my band would would play at and we connected like that. chit chat and such and then it grew each subsequent time we crossed paths and talked. i see it happen that way for lots of people, thats why asking someone on a "date" seems so rigid and inorganic to me.

 

if clicking and chemistry is so rare, how are there so many people here on earth? how are so many people in relationships, having, sex, etc. it doesnt seem rare at all, clicking and chemistry with someone seems to be not just common, but the standard

5 hours ago, SurfCity said:

You're working yourself up into an angry and negative state over one date that didn't pan out

well im not swimming in choices or options out here dude.

 

4 hours ago, SurfCity said:

You're moaning and complaining about not getting a second and third chance from the woman that you just went on a date with, but you didn't even give this chemical engineer ONE chance because of something as minor as her schedule. 

oh if it was feasible, i would give her many chances lol (this is a joke)

i just didnt have a way to interact with her to the point to get to know her enough to like, view it as a viable option. yeah, if she was into me and something was there, i could certainly adjust my schedule maybe lol. there isnt much potential or need to get really interested in her if im not gonna really ever see her again. so as hot and smart as she was, it is what it is. i was hopeful about the other girl i ended up asking out because i saw her and chat with her every week.

if the chemical engineer would have had a schedule similar to mine, the liklihood of our paths crossing is higher, but if our paths are never gonna cross again, well, then what am i to do about that? not much i can do. but trust me, if our schedules had some otver lap of getting to know each other, i certainly would have

Edited June 12 by Gulf-Delta

[Gebidozo]

42 minutes ago, Gulf-Delta said:

but someone always has it worse, i guess

You guess wrong. I’m not the one b****ing and whining about how lonely I am, how women don’t like me, and how my life sucks. You’re the one who needs help. Except you don’t want to hear the helpful truth, and prefer flattering lies instead. It’s not the right forum for that, here people tell you honestly what’s what.

[Gulf-Delta]

8 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

You guess wrong. I’m not the one b****ing and whining about how lonely I am, how women don’t like me, and how my life sucks. You’re the one who needs help. Except you don’t want to hear the helpful truth, and prefer flattering lies instead. It’s not the right forum for that, here people tell you honestly what’s what.

oh sure, i could use help for certain things or issues. but if you are actually this mad and butthurt and egotistical that you think youre assumptions are "helpful truth" and "whats what" and yo start reacting this way when someone questions it, if that is who you actually are, you need help too

 

look at the other ppl in this thread. do you notice a difference in how they post vs. yours?

Edited June 12 by Gulf-Delta

[mark clemson]

I don't think bashing OP is leading to anything productive here. He's here to discuss his romantic situation, not to have folks vent their frustrations if he elects not to take (what is probably solid) advice because for whatever reasons it doesn't work for him, or to judge him as a Christian and so forth.

 

On 6/10/2024 at 10:19 AM, Gulf-Delta said:

I don't. Like I said this church is flooded with beautiful women. But something about her stuck out, so I pursued it

As you know, romance is a two-way street. The bottom line is that things are over with this one girl and you need to let her go. If you continue with your self-improvement activities/mindset, perhaps one of the other beautiful women will give you a chance. I'd suggest you also look outside of the church environment, and from your anecdote it seems you are doing that.

Don't idealize women (the way you write about the ones you are attracted to and refer to yourself as "a romantic" makes me think you do). They are ultimately just people and you don't have to have "hormone goggles" leading you in the wrong direction.

[Gulf-Delta]

1 hour ago, mark clemson said:

I don't think bashing OP is leading to anything productive here. He's here to discuss his romantic situation, not to have folks vent their frustrations if he elects not to take (what is probably solid) advice because for whatever reasons it doesn't work for him, or to judge him as a Christian and so forth.

 

As you know, romance is a two-way street. The bottom line is that things are over with this one girl and you need to let her go. If you continue with your self-improvement activities/mindset, perhaps one of the other beautiful women will give you a chance. I'd suggest you also look outside of the church environment, and from your anecdote it seems you are doing that.

Don't idealize women (the way you write about the ones you are attracted to and refer to yourself as "a romantic" makes me think you do). They are ultimately just people and you don't have to have "hormone goggles" leading you in the wrong direction.

I don't really have other places to meet someone, hence the spazzing. I now just have to wait for something to happen. I don't like going places alone and just being some solo guy. In a lot of instances, going out to a pub or a music venue makes me feel more lonely. Fun activities like music venues are great, I love music. But I get pangs of lonliness at certain times because I'm by myself 

I know going out and meeting people is the way to find someone, obviously. But like, I don't drink or anything so options are limited

I was keeping my eyes peeled at church because I knew women there were more likely to align with my values, and the girl I even went on a date said lots and lots of single girls are there and they are looking

I wait, nothing happens. I pursue someone, nothing happens

Edited June 12 by Gulf-Delta

[NuevoYorko]

17 hours ago, Gulf-Delta said:

what started as "do you think this girl likes me" turned into a party of a bunch of strangers giving me character judgements and trying to tell me how to feel, making assumptions about me, etc.

Well, let me explain to you why this happened.

The answer to your question: "Do you think this girl likes me?" is clearly "NO."

But you refuse to accept that it's possible for this girl not to like you.

You've spent 9 pages very rudely arguing with everyone about this.  

We are making well grounded assumptions about you based on how you are communicating here, and handling being rejected for a second date.  You don't seem capable of accepting that this woman is capable and has every right to decide she does not choose to spend any more time with you.  

The fact that you are behaving this way is a pretty good indicator of why you are single and probably why she made the decision she did.

And, again, if you are not (and you are damn sure not) interested in the opinions of "a bunch of strangers," why don't you stop posting on a site that exists for the very purpose of supplying the opinions of a bunch of strangers?

You have a lot of things standing between you and a successful relationship,  OP.   You show zero inclination to even acknowledge this, much less do any work on improving on the issues.  Sorry.

[Gulf-Delta]

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

The answer to your question: "Do you think this girl likes me?" is clearly "NO."

Did you think I got turned down for a 2nd date and thought different?

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

But you refuse to accept that it's possible for this girl not to like you

Where? 

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

We are making well grounded assumptions about you based on how you are communicating here,

I'm not sure why. What a person posts is not reflective of how people are in real life. The inability to think people are the same in real life as online...idk what to say about that

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

You don't seem capable of accepting that this woman is capable and has every right to decide she does not choose to spend any more time with you.  

Not at all. I never said she didn't have the right to do or feel anything

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

The fact that you are behaving this way

You don't know how I behave. The internet is not an accurate reflection of reality

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

And, again, if you are not (and you are damn sure not) interested in the opinions of "a bunch of strangers," why don't you stop posting on a site that exists for the very purpose of supplying the opinions of a bunch of strangers?

I'm interested in opinions that are based on things I posted, not this 4chan style armchair psychologist stuff. The fact that you think internet posts on an anonymous forum are reflective of how someone is in real life means your advice or opinion is to be taken with a grain of salt. The ego in this thread is crazy. Youre going to jump to conclusions about me based on internet posts and then get weird when I correct certain things that you have wrong? Dude, that's really crazy.

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

You show zero inclination to even acknowledge this, much less do any work on improving on the issues.  Sorry.

This is wrong on so many levels. Not only have I acknowledged this, your assessment on these issues and how I'm dealing with them is based on nothing.  Youre making judgements and assessments based on internet posts. That makes no sense for "diagnosing". You've never met me bro, you know details of this specific situation. You're making assumptions about me and even this girl without ever interacting with them. Do you know how crazy that looks? I haven't given you any details about my life other than what I've posted here and you're acting like you were on the date and could somehow see my behavior or how I talk to people. That's weird bro

I was looking for advice or opinions on the situation, not wild guesses about my character or the girls thoughts based on nothing

I know my issues, but I would never interpret someone correcting me as being rude. Crazy s***

Edited June 13 by Gulf-Delta

[Gebidozo]

On 6/12/2024 at 9:26 PM, Gulf-Delta said:

but if you are actually this mad and butthurt and egotistica

I’m not mad or hurt at all. You’re the one who is constantly mad and hurt by everything people tell you. 
 

On 6/12/2024 at 9:26 PM, Gulf-Delta said:

look at the other ppl in this thread. do you notice a difference in how they post vs. yours?

Errr… not really. But sure, I’ll agree that they are much nicer than me if that makes you feel better. But what’s the point? We’re all giving you the same advices. You choose not to heed them and lash out at us. You’re mad at yourself, my friend.