Bogun Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 Not sure if this belongs in this section or in the "coping" category. Anwyay, I came to this forum about 5 months ago because of a break up which occurred 3 or 4 months prior to that, (it was her choice, and despite wanting to stay together at the time I realised sometime ago that it was the right decision). I havent had any kind of contact with this girl for almost 5 months and the last time I spoke with her it was her that called. Since then, my birthday has come and gone, so too xmas. I admit on both occassions I was apprehensive that she would contact me, and when I heard nothing, it did depress me a little, but I had no expectations that these dates would go by without being reminded of my ex. Now here's the thing I would love to get some advice on. I haven't tried to be just friends with previous ex gf's. But with this girl I feel different and it would be nice to keep in touch as friends. However, I'm not sure whether this is simply that part of me that still wants her as a gf. Despite saying that I'm quite sure that I have no intention or desire of getting back with her, even if she wanted to. Well being new years eve, I was thinking of sending her a text message later at night wishing her all the best for the new year. Is this a huge mistake??? After 5 months of NC I'm not depressed about the break up anymore, I've gone back to flirting with girls and met one particular little hottie that might turn into something serious. But, and this is really worrying me, if I send the message, even though I feel that I'm over the break up, I'm afraid that I will be thrown back to feeling the way I did a couple of months ago. Some of people's stories here on LS confirm the risk in my mind that I face by sending a message. Another part of me, and I guess its my pride, is telling me to forget about sending a message, and leave it up to my ex to contact me if she wants to. Any advice would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 Another part of me, and I guess its my pride, is telling me to forget about sending a message, and leave it up to my ex to contact me if she wants to. It isn't your pride.. It is your Brain.. Listen to it... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 If you have ANY feelings for her I would not do it. Because the cycle begins again. Don't you honestly feel better that you have had a clearer mind by not contacting her ? I know you want to be her friend for old times sake but this is your call. I would think hard about this one. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 I wouldn't do it bogun. I read in your email that you still like her and you're not completely over it. Nothing good will come from it. Link to post Share on other sites
SJB Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 its probably quite late now to reply but if you want to be friends with her or whatever then you have to text her. i broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2yrs just over 3 months ago, we went through a period of not talking and it didnt make either of us happier or more perspective on what we want - maybe some people would say that this is us not wanting to move on or whatever - regardless if you want to see how shes doing then text her, she was a big part of your life and it would be sad to just cut her out totally. Link to post Share on other sites
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